Side-eyeing This BeSpun Flow Challenge

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Maybe I’m just being grouchy because I’m in finals hell, but this shit is way too athletic.

When BeSpun first announced these flow challenges I was like YASSSSS, something I can participate in that doesn’t require a Fonji or a cartwheel onto the pole or whatever other gymnastic trend is happening in the pole world.

And then I watched the videos.

“Oh okay… yeah I can’t really do a split where I touch my front leg to my face but okay, maybe there’s more I can do.”

“Oh okay I can’t really do that thing where you balance on your head while doing a layback bridge thing, but maybe there’s something else I can do.”

“Oh, okay. I literally can’t do 80% of this.”

“:|”

Again, am I just being grouchy? Is the whole point being challenged and I’m missing that?

Anybody else get annoyed at pole moves that only look good with extreme flexibility and 9 inch heels?

#mood

mood

If You’re in NYC, Go See Aera’s Fades Away Tonight

So many of my favorite teachers from Body and Pole are in this, and, to quote the guy next to us at the show, they really should have charged more because “This is a SHOW. ”

fades away 2
Not to sound like Stefan, but this… experience… has everything:  men 9 inch heels, latex, opera on the pole, lip synching, Ben Affleck (not really tho), wall climbing, jumping from silks to pole, BDSM, pasties… the list goest on.

The dets:
Friday nights April 8 – April 22, 7 PM at the House of YES
2 Wyckoff Ave, Brooklyn, New York 11237
Tickets: http://www.eventbrite.com

Oh and I guess there’s a party afterwards tonight. Check the Facebook page for specific info if you’re going and let me know what you thought!

PS. Word to the wise: ear plugs.

fades away party

Things That Piss Me Off, Entry #3,012: Teachers That Tell You You Can’t Be Taught


Y’all I am PISSED.

EXTREMELY PISSED.

Let’s say there was an adorable bae named Bae. He’s basically the cutest and the person that bought me that crazy stripper light thing for my pole.

He  took me to urgent care on Christmas Eve when my ear exploded. He also fearlessly looked into its yucky, green depths to report what was happening. (Warning: this video is gross).

Sometimes he sneakily meditates while I’m in the shower, but he always answers my questions. (Shouted from the bathroom: “Babe can you check if the milk is still good?”)

His answer:

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“Milk is good.”

Bae wants to learn to swim. He doesn’t know how, and as an adult, he’s made the gutsy move of taking swimming lessons. I’m a lifeguard so I was all, I’ll teach you to swim! And he was all, “I’m serious about this, it’s not your problem!”

He took his first lesson. And you guys, the teacher told him he’s too top-heavy to float.

.

Obviously, I flipped out. We started our own lessons. Bae does indeed suck at floating, but we worked on it. A week later, I walked into the pool at our gym after work and saw this: him swimming with a pull buoy.

Sorry Michael, you're just too top heavy.
Sorry Michael, you’re just too top heavy.

Two weeks later he’s swimming without any assistance, and his teacher (who maintained that he simply could not be taught to swim up till the third lesson) is amazed at his progress and moved him up to level 2. Bae now practices on his own more than I hit the pole studio, and loves being in the water.

What’s the secret sauce? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing, I didn’t tell him he couldn’t be taught.

Who does that???

Now don’t get me wrong: certain body types are better suited to some sports than other. I have big hips and trust… it takes a lot to get them up over my head on the pole, for instance.

But a teacher DOES NOT…. let’s say it again, DOES NOT try and pass their bad teaching off on a person’s body type. That shit is uncalled for.

First of all… have you seen Michael Phelps? I rest my case.

Second of all, maybe try another approach? On the pole, if somebody can’t spin yet, how about dips? If they can’t dip yet, let’s work on walking. With swimming especially, there are so many tools available to get someone moving in the water, whatever they need assistance with. Flippers, pull buoys, kick boards, you name it. A teacher’s lack of imagination or problem solving skills should never be dumped on a student like that.

Have you guys ever had an experience like this? Did you speak up, or work on your skills on your own? Did it turn you off to a sport or skill altogether?

I hope not, but if so please help me bitch about it.

Flavor of Love Show (Bellyqueen)

Did you read that and think of this?

flavor flav

Yeah I did too.

But it actually looked like THIS:

The show went really well despite the fact that I didn’t get there until 1/2 hour before house open and completely missed tech. I never do that. (And YOU should never do that guys. It’s bad. I had a school emergency tho).

So yeah, had no idea where my marks were or how we were spacing for the stage or what the floor was like (SO many turns, so high a risk).

BUT, Maki (troupe director) told me beforehand, “Just be confident and emotional. You perform a lot, you’ll be fine.” And I suddenly DID feel like I’ve performed a lot, and would be fine. And I was.

But seriously, y’all, never miss tech.

Flavor of Love Group.jpg
I’m way in the back, checking what everyone else was doing (the theme of this show, basically). photo credit: bae

Body and Pole Bingo: Giddyup. (Also: teeny reviews on the new classes I just took!)

So here’s an optimal way to slack–I’ve been bad about blogging because I’ve been spending too much dancing!! :D!!!

Body and pole is doing “bingo” (complete with cards) where you knock out spaces on your card by completing class-taking tasks. Examples are taking class with a certain teacher, or an aerial art (pole, hoop, fabric). There’s also conditioning, flex, and time-specific tasks, like taking one before noon on a weekday, or after 8pm.

At first I was like, “whatever, I’mma do me–I don’t need a card to get my butt to class!” but honestly, seeing the progress on a card is completely addictive. I went from being like, “okay, I’ll black out 5 in a row and get 20% of a package” to “OMG I’M SO CLOSE, I can black out this whole card of 25 classes and treat my bellydance girls to a pole party!”

The promotion ended Tuesday and here’s what my card looked like:

Photo credit to Armando at the front desk who had to painstaking verify that I actually DID go to this many classes/have this much time on my hands. Thank you!!
Photo credit to Armando at the front desk who had to painstaking verify that I actually DID go to this many classes/have this much time on my hands. Thank you!!

You guys I was one space away from a free pole party. I WANTED THAT PARTY. But Brenna is a hugely popular  instructor and I couldn’t make it into one of her sold out classes 😦

But anyway, I took SO many classes–let me quickly give you an overview of my favorites while they’re still fresh in my head.

1. Liquid motion

This one was a HUGE discovery for me. I always stare longingly at pole girls who do fish flops and slinky split transitions on the floor, but like, in the same way I longingly watch gymnasts do kips and shit on the uneven bars: beautiful, but where the hell am I going to learn that?

HERE. HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN LEARN THAT. B&P has these classes in the big rooms so you have plenty of room to roll around and make it nasty. Not only did I immediately add tons of cute, stylish moves to my repertoire, I also got a nice lowerbody workout–re: a break for my calloused, calloused hands–and they have kneepads and stuff too, so you can have all the fun of oozing around on the floor but none of the rug burn or bruises. Highly, highly recommend. It upped my pole freestyle game after ONE class. (I took this with Emily Sanderson who can do absolutely no wrong in my book, but Jeni Janover teaches it too and I’ve only heard good things!)

PS. In case you doubt the power of mixing things up a little, here’s a three-day bruise tracking photo series that documents what multiple aerial classes for three days in a row looks like.

2. Pole Level 2 with Kelly

Remember what a hard time I was having with Level 2? How every time I get there it’s a bunch of Level 3 people and it’s more a “review and combine your moves” atmosphere than “literally learn where your hands and feet go for these moves” type thing?

Yeah, Kelly’s class was a huge game changer for that. For each move she gives three versions: the straight up version (a leg hang, for instance), a way to make it harder (windshield wipers), and a way to start working towards it (leg hangs from being on your back on the floor).

I mean, I always KNEW I could do leg hangs from my back on the floor to practice placement, but when the teacher doesn’t say that out loud and I’m the only one on the floor… that shit is embarrassing! It made the hugest difference to have legitimate options for everything so I never just had to stand there, hanging my head in shame, or feeling bored with a move I already had down. Fabulous, and exactly what my morale needed. Thank you Kelly!!!

3. Flex Level 2 with Isaac

Oh jesus, here we go. So, you’ll notice looking at the picture on my card that Isaac’s face is on there. He’s in the studio for only a couple of classes–mainly advanced flex and contortion. I was really trying to fill up this card, so, I swallowed my pride and attempted an int/adv. flex class that I had no business being in.

It was…. humbling. As you’d expect any flex class to be when people are doing chin stands and split bridges. But Isaac has a really relaxed, soothing attitude to flexibility (he said multiple times during the 1.5 hour class “don’t kill yourself, we’ve got a lot of minutes left”) and gives plenty of variations to make things harder or easier. Like with Kelly, I always had something to work on, even if I couldn’t quite sit my ass on my head like some people in class 😐

Funny moment: he came over to me while I was doing a foot-grab pigeon thing and said, “Are you an aerialist?” He was adjusting my arm/shoulder placement as he said this so I immediately blushed and said, “…yes” thinking he’s noticed my muscles. “Then we really need to fix this shoulder situation.” (ie. SHOULDER FLEXIBILITY DISSSSSSS). That’ll teach me to have an ego, haha. Again, #humbling.

BUT… the class overall was an incredibly intense, focused session and I think I’ll try to start going regularly. Isaac sets a very supportive tone for everything, and has a really nice way of encouraging everyone (later that same class he moved me to a better position and said, “YES! Now that will get you in the circus!” which is quite possibly the best compliment I’ve ever gotten in a dance class ever, haha).

If nothing else, this class really inspired me to try to hold poses longer and use breathing to get into muscles I’m targeting, because it really makes all the difference when you’re pushing your absolute limits (which I was… eek!).

Okay wow this post got long… I’ll tackle reviewing another three next time!

Here’s a teaser image of a bruise I got attempted hoop level 1 for the first time!

And a video of me taking intro to fabric! (REALLY REALLY FUN, HIGHLY RECOMMEND)

OH, and the Fire Blossoms are back in action because Maki’s back from her world tour of Silk Roads! We have a show this Saturday night–here’s a sneak peek of our routine 😉

Finally… how good is the Hollaback Girl portion of this video? I literally cried. (Disclaimer: the linked video is total nonsense and has nothing to do with dancing).