15 Pole Dance Songs that Are *Sensual* But Not Overtly Sexual (2024)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

As an instructor, I’m a bit pickier with my music than I am when dancing on my own. While I love *vibes*, it’s hard to ignore demeaning lyrics in songs with great beats that I’d otherwise love to share with students. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m promoting substance abuse or devaluing/objectifying yourself when I play this music, and I don’t want students to associate pole with that kind of negativity.

So through very scientific means (starting a Pandora station for every song I remotely like to dance to), here are a few songs I’ve found that I love to play for student freestyle time. They’re sensual and vibey, but mostly low on sex or drugs references. (The nasty songs will have to be a separate post, ha).

Let me know if you’d dance to this, and share any suggestions or favorite songs below!

1. Like I Want You, Giveon

I love Giveon for groovy, vibey music that captures that has a kind of torch-song longing mood. Bonus points for smooth vocals and an excellent BPM.

2. Rewind, Ravyn Lanae

Slightly more upbeat, this song has whispery sweet, feminine vocals and in interesting beat with lots of details to create accent movements with.

3. I Want You Around, Snoh Aalegra

Clean and bright, this bass-heavy track would pair well with smooth, exotic-style flow.

4. Last Dance, Leisure

I LOVE Leisure for pole. This is one of my favorite songs. They have funk and disco-inspired beats with understated, indie-feeling vocals that allow for lots of variation in speed, tempo, and accent moments. Just, *chef’s kiss,* mellow perfection.

5. Ideal Woman, Celeste

This is a slow, gooey guitar-driven R&B song with lowkey feminist edge to it. Love it for a fierce, take-your-time freestyle that feels more about power and control than enticing anyone.

6. So Young, Portugal the Man

Indie vibes, syncopated beat, groovy vibes.

7. Best Mistake (Slowed Reverb Version), Ariana Grande

I love this song anyway, but slowed down, it’s soulful, sad, moody, and the perfect tempo.

8. Baby Powder, Jenevieve

This has the beat of nasty 90s R&B but with sweet vocals and high standards.

9. Come Gimme Love, King Sis

Upbeat and smooth, this song is flirty but PG.

10. My Love Mind All Mine, Mitski

Okay okay, you’ve heard this a million times on TikTok, but the mellow, melancholy vibe of this song and it’s short length make it perfect for a relaxed, easy-going closing freestyle.

11. Wicked Games (Clean), Kiana Lede

Slow, vibey, and angsty as hell, this song has lots of tempo-change and accent opportunities.

12. My Heart Bleeds, Rhye

Rhye makes really spare sounding music rife with sexual tension. Vibes!

13. Good Thing, Kehlani

Bombshell theme song! This one is upbeat, unapologetic, and would be great to choreograph to. Plus you can’t beat the message..

14. Be More, Stephen Sanchez

If you’re a fan of emotional, retro sounds, you might like Stephen Sanchez. It has the feel of 60s torch songs with a modern, restrained singing style.

15. All Over You, Leisure

I really like Leisure, okay?!

So that’s the list! What did you thing–would you or do you already dance to these? I have a few NSFW songs to share too, so that will have to be a follow up post.

See you in class!

-Cathy

Music Monday: Not Afraid Anymore, Halsey

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

 

Yes it’s a cliche to pole to a song from 50 Shades Darker (Grey? Grai? Whatever, it’s technically from the “Darker” film anyway).

Cliches exist for a reason, and as shitty as these movies are, the soundtracks are pretty on point. Exhibit A is “Not Afraid Anymore” which is dark, moody, dangerous, and… hot.

Help With Ballerina Pose Even If You Have Dinosaur Arms

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

So here’s a recent picture of me stretching my shoulders.

Trexbig

And here’s a picture of me FINALLY doing a ballerina after years of frustration.

ballerina

 

The difference was a teacher who flat out admitted “this pose is not for everybody,” and that she struggled with it for years before getting it because of her specific build. How encouraging is it for pole goddesses to say stuff like that? “Not every pose is going to be right for your body, and that’s okay”??? I love it. <3<3<3 Kelly!!!!

So anyway, even if you DO have shoulder flexibility, chances are you’re going to be in that forward fold just reaching fruitlessly for pole and finding air. This doesn’t look super cute but it’s also scary and extremely frustrating when you’re already in an uncomfortable position and high off the ground. So these are Kelly’s tips for getting yourself a sweet, sweet handful of pole on the first try and  locking into the pose comfortably (and safely). Worked for me, and again–I have no shoulder flexibility. So I’m fairly confident that this will be helpful to most people!!

So to get started, take a climb or two, release your arms, and wrap your body around the pole in the same direction as your front leg. If you’re climbing with your left leg in front, you’ll be leaning towards your left, twisting over your left shoulder, and grabbing the pole overhead with your left arm. Now you’re ready to tweak a little and make this easier.

Lean ALL the way over the pole

A halfway bend won’t do you any favors. Commit to touching your toes in that forward fold before attempting anything else.

Twist your torso

This is a huge assist toward getting that grab and doesn’t require crazy shoulder flexiness.

Turn your body at the waist and look back towards the pole as you reach down between your knees to grab with your outside hand and get ready to grab with your inside hand. Which reminds me…

Make room for your lower handballerina prep

Don’t be afraid to loosen your knees a bit on the pole to make room to grab with your lower hand. Kelly says this also gives you a little more room to twist and reach behind you. As you can see from this janky pic taken right before or right after the money shot (I’m not sure which), my knees are a bit open and I’m relying more on my ankles and shins for grip. According to Kelly, this is totally okay and you shouldn’t be afraid to do it (despite your instincts telling you to grab on for dear life with everything you’ve got).

Make T shape with your outside arm before reaching back to grab the pole

I don’t know why this helps but it does. If you don’t believe me, try doing the T shape first and then grabbing the pole vs. doing a backstroke motion and grabbing. Even if you have super flexible shoulders, the first should be a lot easier than the latter. And done slowly, it can look just as lovely and dramatic.

Once you’ve made contact, rotate your shoulder back and slide your hand up the pole to lock in

You’ll know you’re doing the rotation right if you’re exposing MORE armpit, not less, and you’ve made contact with your lat on the pole. Solid! Now you’re in a shoulder-safe position to let go.

I know this pose comes super easy for some people, and for others its a total nemesis move. Have you tried it? What do you think? Even if you can get into the pose it’s a little rough on ya, right? (Looking at my underarm bruise as I type this, haha).

Good luck and please share any tips you have for getting in (and out) of this pose safely and cute-ly.

And have no shame in your dinosaur arms. It’s a lifestyle!

TRex Arms

Drills to Improve Your Freestyles

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut, dance-wise? The music comes on and you pull out the same 4-5 moves over and over again?

On the one hand, it’s great that you’ve mastered a few tricks or fillers and you know how to work them.

On the other hand… this gets boring fast, for you and for your audience.

Here are a few “prompts” to get you mixing up your freestyles that I’ve picked up from other teachers (both pole and belly) over the years.

1. Try a choreographed routine to totally different music

This is a great “toe in the water” approach to shaking up your movement. You don’t have the pressure of thinking of what to do next, but different music will force you to reinterpret your moves, adjust phrasing, and maybe even get a little inventive with new fillers or transitions. You’ll find yourself putting a whole new spin (heh) on a tried and true move.

2. Pick a body part

Elbow, foot, head, chest, arm, even hair–pick something to focus on and accent with throughout your freestyle. It’s amazing how thinking about something as small as your fingers can open up your usual way of dancing and approaching moves.

3. Pick an adjective (or verb, or noun, or mythical creature)

Favorites from my classes are “heavy,” “sleepy,” and “drunk” (see a theme?) but we’ve also done crazy stuff like “sea witch” or “spider” or “swimming.” This is a great way to get yourself moving in new ways without being too self conscious about it. You’re in character!

4. Pick an emotion

This is another way to play with choreography or a sequence you already have down. Try dancing it with elation, then sorrow, then fury, then jealousy. Record yourself. Can you see the stories of those emotions coming through?

5. Make a trick list

This is another good one to catch on video. Make a list of 4-5 tricks (they can be simple poses or complicated sequences), then put on a song and try to get in and out of all of them as gracefully and naturally as possible. Pick a new song and try again. How do your transitions look? Did you find yourself entering and exiting a move the same way? Was the style and/or emotion the same for each trick both times?

6. Get someone to yell at you

No seriously: grab a friend and pick an alternating theme. Floor work vs. pole? Flexed feet vs. pointed? Bent knees vs. straight legs? The possibilities are endless. Put on a song and ask your friend to call out the “switch” in regular intervals. Whatever you choose (ex. flexed feet) you have to maintain that until the change is called out.

7. Choose a handful of moves to repeat over and over

With 3-5 basic moves, experiment: how different can I dance these with each repetition? Practice getting in and out of those spins, climbs, and transitional moves with a different style, intention, speed, or shape every time. This is another great one to catch on video–if for no other reason that to see that what feels like a big change to you can read very small.

Do you have a favorite freestyle game or prompt? Share below!

Bracket Holds!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Pop quiz: which is my bad side??? I know, I can barely tell either. (looooooool jk jk).

Half_Bracket_Hold_on_the_Pole.gif

After about 3 years of casually struggling every time I remember to try it, I finally got my half-bracket hold last night! I kind of credit this (along with all my other recent pole gainz) to doing pull ups. Seriously, the back, core, and shoulder strength you get from these is like having a pole super power. Highly recommend!

But aside from that, here are a few technical tricks that really helped me. Maybe they’ll do the trick for you too:

1. Use your elbow as a shelf for your rib cage

I always thought this was cheating. It’s totally not.

2. Retract your shoulders

SO key, both for execution and for the safety of your poor, hardworking shoulders. You can see on the right side of the video that my lower shoulder is scrunched up (not ideal).

3. Use your back

Once your grip feels safe enough to let go with the legs, use your back to arch a bit and pull your legs back and up (just like that back conditioning drill your teacher has you do on your stomach during warm ups!). I’ve found this changes your center of gravity and removes some of the strain from the lower arm. #magic

4. Turn your chest towards your lower arm

…or as my teacher Rica said, “turn towards the opening” which I found slightly confusing at first because OH GOD EVERYTHING’S OPEN I’M GOING TO FALL. Opening your chest and angling it out away from the pole really helps anchor your bracket hold and help you brace better. And again, opening my chest is something you can see I’m clearly not doing in the “fail” side of the video. Don’t be like me.

5. Start low

I was working on this hold with a class of other girls as part of a climb sequence and we all had some serious “Oh Shit” moments while attempting it from way too high a height. I’d definitely stick to one climb’s worth of height while getting comfortable with this move. You need to feel safe enough to get your legs away from the pole, and that’s asking a lot if you’re 6 feet off the ground. Bonus: if you fall from one climb up, it will be more like a tiny, adorable jump than a splat situation.

How do you feel about floats and bracket holds? I know some people have wrist and elbow issues that make this move a no-go. My forearms are definitely a little sore today, so I feel that. Also, how annoying is it that you just completely can’t do this with sweaty hands? It’s so all or nothing!

Things That Piss Me Off, Entry #3,012: Teachers That Tell You You Can’t Be Taught

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Y’all I am PISSED.

EXTREMELY PISSED.

Let’s say there was an adorable bae named Bae. He’s basically the cutest and the person that bought me that crazy stripper light thing for my pole.

He  took me to urgent care on Christmas Eve when my ear exploded. He also fearlessly looked into its yucky, green depths to report what was happening. (Warning: this video is gross).

Sometimes he sneakily meditates while I’m in the shower, but he always answers my questions. (Shouted from the bathroom: “Babe can you check if the milk is still good?”)

His answer:

IMG_4385
“Milk is good.”

Bae wants to learn to swim. He doesn’t know how, and as an adult, he’s made the gutsy move of taking swimming lessons. I’m a lifeguard so I was all, I’ll teach you to swim! And he was all, “I’m serious about this, it’s not your problem!”

He took his first lesson. And you guys, the teacher told him he’s too top-heavy to float.

…

…

.

Obviously, I flipped out. We started our own lessons. Bae does indeed suck at floating, but we worked on it. A week later, I walked into the pool at our gym after work and saw this: him swimming with a pull buoy.

Sorry Michael, you're just too top heavy.
Sorry Michael, you’re just too top heavy.

Two weeks later he’s swimming without any assistance, and his teacher (who maintained that he simply could not be taught to swim up till the third lesson) is amazed at his progress and moved him up to level 2. Bae now practices on his own more than I hit the pole studio, and loves being in the water.

What’s the secret sauce? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing, I didn’t tell him he couldn’t be taught.

Who does that???

Now don’t get me wrong: certain body types are better suited to some sports than other. I have big hips and trust… it takes a lot to get them up over my head on the pole, for instance.

But a teacher DOES NOT…. let’s say it again, DOES NOT try and pass their bad teaching off on a person’s body type. That shit is uncalled for.

First of all… have you seen Michael Phelps? I rest my case.

Second of all, maybe try another approach? On the pole, if somebody can’t spin yet, how about dips? If they can’t dip yet, let’s work on walking. With swimming especially, there are so many tools available to get someone moving in the water, whatever they need assistance with. Flippers, pull buoys, kick boards, you name it. A teacher’s lack of imagination or problem solving skills should never be dumped on a student like that.

Have you guys ever had an experience like this? Did you speak up, or work on your skills on your own? Did it turn you off to a sport or skill altogether?

I hope not, but if so please help me bitch about it.

Me and my boobs are A STAR

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

So like 9 months ago I participated in a student photo shoot at Body and Pole.

They were having actual students from all the different classes take pictures doing what we normally do in class to make some images for B&P’s new website.

I gave up hope long ago of ever seeing these because it had been months, but lo and behold–I go on the site to sign up for flex class today and OH SNAP it’s my boobs!!

No literally: just my boobs. That’s me (right boob, technically) in the pink, right behind Kelly WORKING in this photo. Check that demi-pointe action, are you serious???

Screen Shot 2016-03-23 at 3.24.19 PM

So yeah, only my boob is in this photo, but you know what? I will take it. Because I’m confident that I was doing something weird with my face anyway.

Luckily, BOTH my giant boobs made it into the flex photo, though unfortunately, my neck was nowhere to be seen.

😐

Screen Shot 2016-03-23 at 3.23.48 PM

In my defense, we had to hold some extremely uncomfortable poses for a very long time.

But definitely check out the new B&P website–especially the level descriptions for pole, which have a very helpful video breakdown of what you learn in each level. It helped me I.D. a few things I may have been skipping over. Good stuff!

Flavor of Love Show (Bellyqueen)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Did you read that and think of this?

flavor flav

Yeah I did too.

But it actually looked like THIS:

That’s me 4th from the left
Huge thanks to Leilei ZH for taking these!

The show went really well despite the fact that I didn’t get there until 1/2 hour before house open and completely missed tech. I never do that. (And YOU should never do that guys. It’s bad. I had a school emergency tho).

So yeah, had no idea where my marks were or how we were spacing for the stage or what the floor was like (SO many turns, so high a risk).

BUT, Maki (troupe director) told me beforehand, “Just be confident and emotional. You perform a lot, you’ll be fine.” And I suddenly DID feel like I’ve performed a lot, and would be fine. And I was.

But seriously, y’all, never miss tech.

Flavor of Love Group.jpg
I’m way in the back, checking what everyone else was doing (the theme of this show, basically). photo credit: bae

How to make a sexy V-day routine even if you’re a pole beginner: Part 1

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Hey guys!

Valentine’s is just around the corner, and if you have a bae, you’re probably doing what I do every time I hear a sexy song come on the radio: mentally rehearsing the sexy routine you MIGHT do on Vday but probably won’t because choreography is hard.

Here’s the good news though: a super sexy dance does NOT require fancy tricks. Bae will likely be just as impressed if you flip your hair and climb the pole than as if you did a bird of paradise or some double jointed Marion Crampe shit.

But I know how annoying it is to get some vague tips for HOW to do a routine and like… you don’t have any moves for a routine in your skill level. So please: as someone who once taught routines at bachelorette parties, let me get you on this.

You can use all of these moves or just a few of them and even repeat yourself. If you’re flowing and feeling yourself, it will look awesome, so don’t get too hung up on execution or difficulty. I’ll keep adding more throughout the week, and add some gifs of the moves so you can get the full affect.

I’ll also put my money where my mouth is on this and make a short routine out of these moves to prove it can be done–and that you can look damn good while doing it.

1. Walking

You can kill like 15 seconds of your song just by walking. Here’s how to make it worth watching:

-Start off of the pole. Key time-killing tip.bend and snap

-Walk slow (duh), drag the toe of the foot you’re stepping with (HACK: this helps you keep your balance in heels or while exaggerating your ankle cross as you saunter).

-Pause to bend over your front leg, drag your hands up it, and flip your hair. (Slo-mo ben and snap, shoutout to Legally Blonde!)

 

-Do some more bending when you make it to the pole: when you’re about arm’s distance away, drag your hands down the pole as you bend over with straight legs and an arched back. Dip your head and roll it half-moon to the other side and SNAP that hair as you come back up. (Pro tip: definitely roll your head to the SIDE of the pole, lest you smack your face on the pole).

-Work a pole walk. Again, the focus here is WASTING TIME. Walk incredibly slow. Keep it interesting with hair and body touching. Again, bae will be enthralled if you are legitimately feeling yourself, don’t worry about popping tricks.

2. Half pirouette

These are great because they look fancy without the risks attached to a full pirouette (ie. getting stuck, losing your balance, hitting your leg on the pole–these are all things that would definitely happen to me with my luck during a sexy performance).

And here’s the other great thing: when you end up with your back on the pole, you can kill MORE TIME doing stuff you’ve already done because it looks different from a new angle. SCORE.

3. Spins

I highly recommend spacing these out. They’re  exciting in moderation, but clumped together they lose that affect. You also want to be very careful not to anticipate a spin while doing a sexy-ish dance: fully let yourself fall into it, and don’t give it away by sneaking an extra step, etc. The appeal here is having fully control of the spin and riding it all the way out to the floor. (Then woohoo!!!! Enjoy more time wasting opportunities on the ground! Roll around, tick tock yo booty, stripper push yourself up–so many possibilities).

4. Spins Pt. 2: 

Get some contrast between spin 1 and spin 2, if you can. If you’re doing a front spin, try a back spin for #2–falling lady is nice and simple, and looks really different from a fireman or attitude spin.

5. Climb

Again, the appeal here is the control you have while. Don’t even worry if you can’t do much once you get up there: focus on climbing slowly, with a bit of body wave and some head rolls, if you can. Then sit for a bit, stretch out your legs if you can, and try some waves or see saws to get back down. Again, if you’re selling it with hips and hair, you do NOT need tricks.

Once on the ground, rinse and repeat the first three steps! You have half of a routine!

More coming soon 😉