Er, like, side-calf. Where your calf connects to something hard and probably important on the side of your leg.
Like, you know that cute little line down the outside of your calf? Yeah, that’s where things are ALL messed up.
I did the successful Marleys (BOTH SIDES) a week ago and felt something kinda… spasm… when I grabbed my feet. Now I can’t even crouch without falling over in a dramatic fashion, clutching my leg and making a crazy pain face.
…so what did I do?!!!! Have you guys experienced this? All my CPT friends insist on foam rolling the crap outta me, but it’s not helping 😐
Anyway, I hope I heal soon because GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT: my freelance photog friend is going to help my document some of my tricks!
I’m super jazzed about somebody else taking pictures of me because the better my tricks get, the worse I am at taking capturing them. I mean, I can’t really get into a butterfly or marley before the 10 second timer on my camera goes off and not break my neck, you dig? So it’s been difficult trying to track my progress. Which is sad, because SHOWING OFF: I love it.
Anyway, what’s everybody working on? Are we all wussing out because it’s hot and nobody feels like doing anything difficult?
I have an air conditioner this summer for the first time in 6 years of living in New York, so, I’m really excited that I can practice at home this year! (And without coating my entire body in Dry Hands (!!)).
So, a very wise poler told me, “Your butt, or your knees. Only one can be high at a time. Choose accordingly.”
After that, side climb (which until now has been an exercise in rage, frustration, and one-sided indian burns) was CRACKED.
So, I was trying to find a video of some awesome side climbing to illustrate what I’m talking about, but I’m lazy, so all I found was this.
No. Don’t do that guys. Both feet at once, just like the Jenyne Climb. For the love of Christ.
Now, speaking of Jenyne, I know she does some effortless looking side climbing, but again, too lazy to look it up, so GO NUTS KIDS and please tell me if you know hof some youtubage where she or somebody else does a mean side climb so I can come back and throw it in here.
Anywhere, here’s some TIPPPPPPPPPPPZ (read that in the voice of “ERREBODY IN THE CLUB GETTING–) for side climbing that I discovered by doing it totally wrong:
1. Create space between your body and the pole
Do this by bracing with your outside arm (not your inside, because that would cover your face, yo. Your face is MONEY).
2. Stick your butt out
You knew this was coming right? Because literally everything in pole involves sticking your ass out in some way, shape, or form? But seriously, it helps you get your body away from the pole (less indian burn!), and allows your knees to come up for a nice, productive climb).
3. Point your damn toes
Actually this isn’t just about looks (BELIEVE IT OR NOT)–you’re going to need your legs fairly vertical and parallel to the pole to execute your climb that shall be on the side, SO, no locking with your ankles. This also means less pain for your aforementioned ankles. No hope for the tops of your feet, though, sorry!
4. ENJOY YOUR BRUISES, YOU ARE A BEAST
Yeah, this is going to hurt. I’m rocking UNPRECEDENTED numbers of leg bruises right now–on either thigh, behind the knees, and all over the tops of my feet. Also, many on the insides of my upper arms, and on on my wrist. And I love it. Swag.
Other news: I AERIAL CHOPPERED. I can’t wait to video this ish. I surprised myself by doing it while thinking, “this should be hilarious, no chance this is happening–HOLY SHIT I’M CHOPPERING AND MY HEAD IS THE LOWEST POINT OF MY BODY 10 FEET OFF THE GROUND OH GOD OH GOD.”
Any way, the moral of the story is, even when you don’t THINK you’ll be able to invert… apply Dry Hands as though you will, just in case. Because I was slipping and that’s terrifying.
Happy twirls!!!!
Cathy
UPDATE:
Today in SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER lazy news, here is the same damn video I posted of Jenyne the last time I wrote about her climb techniques. But hey, she does an excellent (if brief) sideclimb starting near 1:05, so check her out!!!
(Please read that in the voice of Cher, re: makeovers).
SO, I’m working on a routine!
This is hard!
First, let me give you guys that advice I’ve been given, and then YOU give YOURS. Because, I’m stuck. I have this awful habit of re-inventing the wheel every time I dance to a song. No matter what I have written down (yes I’m being all official about it), every time my music starts, I do something different. HELP ME COMMIT.
Here’s what I’ve heard so far about The Process of choreographing (word? not a word?):
1. Choose 3 tricks and build your dance around them
This is sooooooo helpful. If you can think of the three tricks you want to include (your music can advise as to what feels right/fits the mood/theme), you can think about spreading them out well, THEN fill spaces between with transitional moves. GENUIS. I love a general layout for writing, why not dancing?
2. Waste time
It’s hard to remember while dancing (or choreographing) but it takes an audience at least a few seconds of watching a move to even register what you’re doing. So I think especially for the first 10-15 seconds of a song, extremely simple moves are a good way to ease into a dance… and make sure you’ve got everybody’s attention for when you’re ready for a trick.
3. Make a list
…of everything you know how to do.
For me, I wrote down key words/phrases of the song I’m using (Running, by Jessie Ware) and a few moves that kinda conjured that emotion for me.
Examples:
“falling” (back hook spin, Juliet spin, recliner)
“running” (hang man spin, half bracket hold with “walk,” pirouettes, headstand “walk outs”)
“I just go weak” (spin in arch, bridge slide, back bend with extended leg)
…and a bunch of other stuff I don’t have names for. (That’s the annoying thing about pole… not knowing what the heck to call the stuff you know how to do).
Anyway, that’s all I got, and I’m stuck, guys!
Here, listen to my song and tell me shit to do that you think would look good!
Also, please, share your tricks for getting the Choreography Muse to visit. I tried leaving her cookies and milk, but that might just work for Santa.
So, you guys apparently LOVE sad pole dance songs. Do y’all need a hug? 😦
I was in the car with my lil sis for many hours this weekend, listening to her Kelly Clarkson and Ne-Yo cds, and I heard some surprisingly awesome stuff (that’s also nice and family friendly, as opposed to all the French Montana, The Weeknd, and Drake I’ve been dancing to).
It could just be that her car has huge subwoofer things that make EVERYTHING sound epic, but wow, some of these songs were hittin’ my ears mighty fine, and I was doing some mental choreography for much of the trip.
Anyway, because you guys are all frantically searching “heartbreak pole songs” (yes, I check these things), let’s indulge in another sad playlist! Wheee!
This one is special though: this is special dance prescriptions for all of your I-Just-Got-Dumped needs. I got you, okay? Just keep dancing. We’ll get through this.
1. Kelly Clarkson, Addicted
I wish I were more of a polerina because I would Jenyne Butterfly the SHIT out of this.
For dancing through: utter helplessness whilst treading water in the deep end of your feelings. Just wait till you hear that beat drop…
2. Ne-Yo, Back to What You Know
Good “I FEEL BITTER” song.
For dancing through: feeling superior and above all this ish, duh!
3. Omarion Ft. Wale, M.I.A.
Revenge song.
For dancing through: break up? What break up? Fuck it, I don’t care!
4. Omarion, Ice Box
SPEAKING OF OMARION. Come on, I know this is old, but it’s a killer.
For dancing through: your need to psychologically dissect all the shittiness. (Don’t bother, you’ll never understand).
5. Jessie Ware, Running
This song makes me want to punch myself in the face. But that’s for personal reasons.
For dancing through: that freefall feeling when you run into him and lock eyes. And then you walk away thinking, “Back to square fucking one…”
6. Maroon 5, Misery
Upbeat despair!
For dancing through: when it’s been a few days and you can’t stand love songs, but you’re ready to put away the Taylor Swift for a while.
7. Maroon 5, One More Night
More Maroon 5, for the inevitable relapse.
For dancing through: your sexual needs. DON’T GO CRAWLING BACK THOUGH, OKAY.
8. LeToya Ft. Ludacris, Regret
“You left the best you had, baby don’t look so mad”
For dancing through: self-righteous outrage.
9. Diddy Dirty Money, Loving You No More
Awww, even Diddy can’t buy his way out of feeling crappy.
For dancing through: Reminding yourself of all the garbage you’ve been through. Yup, can’t really do this again after all.
10. Corinne Bailey Rae, Enchantment
Ugh, it’s so HARD to be responsible for your actions.
For dancing through: I CAN’T HELP MYSELF.
Bonus: Take Me In Your Arms, The Isley Brothers
Okay, you DEFINITELY can’t pole dance to this, and it’s kind of a pre-break up song, but it came on my ipod last night and I loved it, so, here ya go.
Take care of yourselves ladies! As my mom would tell you, you are WONDERFUL, don’t forget it. (She also likes to say “be the one that got away,” but that’s easier said than done). Love you mom! I’m being careful with inversions!
Also, come take my class tomorrow and if you look sad or break-uppy I will TOTALLY give you a hug. 6:30-8pm, and be prepared for some crunches. (The best revenge is looking fabulous, am I right?)
…that’s the first sentence somebody said to me when I got into work today. Of course, I had to clarify, “Wait, she’s a stripper, or a pole dancer? Because there’s a difference. Also, good morning!”
“She’s a pole dancer,” he said, “she has a blog!”
Welp, it looks like that blog is probably getting totally overwhelmed by curious people looking for PICTURES (IS SHE HOT IS SHE HOT), so, I guess let’s all discuss this more as things develop?
Meanwhile… do you guys ever worry that you’ll end up in politics and then your hobbies will come back to haunt you?
This type of thing has happened to me several times, but in different ways. Like that time this real estate agent was showing me the apartment I moved into. He asked all kinds of questions about my life on our first walk-through (being stupidly honest, I just told him I’m a writer and dance instructor, instead of making something up), which I guess led to him investigating me a little further. Probably by searching my name and the word “dance.” SUPER SPY.
Naturally, on our second meeting, he blurted out (while alone in his car with me, for extra creepiness), “So… WILL THERE BE ROOM FOR A POLE IN THIS PLACE??”
*Blink.*
“BECAUSE I DID A LITTLE GOOGLING…”
Ah, congratulations, sir. You’ve learned the fine art of search engines! How embarrassing for me that you have discovered that I pole dance!
I had to endure a few repulsive comments about how much my boyfriend must LOVE this (I don’t have a boyfriend, I told him, which only prompted a conversation about how I should use it to get one), but throughout the whole gross meeting I made one thing clear: I’m not hiding.
I mean, if I were, I probably wouldn’t have a blog with my name and photos plastered all over it.
In a way, yeah, it sucks being vulnerable to the wrong kind of attention. People think they can scroll through a few pictures and jokes about what I’m up to and know me, or worse, judge what kind of person I must be.
I guess in this age of Facebook, that was going to happen anyway. So I might as well celebrate something I love.
But then there’s the other stuff–the things I write about on here that I’m not super proud of. Feeling lost, falling in love with the wrong people, getting burnt out on pole, struggling…. yeah, just “struggling” pretty much covers it.
It’s not an accident that this stuff ends up posted. There’s definitely an edit button, and I’ll admit I’ve used it.
But as much as I love sharing my most flattering trick photos, I feel like it’s important to show the hard work and the mistakes and the blisters and the tears, too. In pole AND in life.
It’s not easy. Should that part be hidden?
Do you guys have any interesting “discovery” stories?
Fill me in!
Anyway, here’s what Jezebel makes of Snowden’s chick…
I’m flattered, but a little freaked out. I know nobody cares, but visitors are about the same while hits have gone CRAY CRAY. I know I haven’t suddenly gained, like, mass appeal, so, naturally… I’m scared for my life. But thanks for reading, whoever you are! I hope it’s not hate-reading!
For everybody else: the start date for tonight’s 4-week course has been moved to next week because MY SISTER IS HAVING A BABY. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE. I LOVE YOU LINDS, GOOD LUCK!!
Also, I might be MIA until next week because wheee, baby! Being had in another state! So, I’mma go be an Aunt for a bit 🙂 See y’all on the flip side!
Just saw this and couldn’t resiiiiiiiiiist… here’s what I wish I knew:
1. You can’t force everything with sheer willpower/stubbornness
I can’t tell you how many times I had decided a move was simply impossible, only to fall into it very easily on an attempt a month later (after weeks of struggling). When you’re ready, you’re ready. When you’re not, stop torturing yourself and work on something else!
2. Some people will never get it. Others will, and they won’t be the people you expect
My grandmother thinks it’s cool. My ex was horrified. Go figure.
3. Your body will change
I guess I assumed, like most people, that pole is all about upper body strength. So I was totally shocked when I got lower ab cuts and an entirely new ass. SWEET. (It comes in handy, too, because pole shorts are tiny).
4. And if you take a break, it will change right the fuck back
I learned this lesson the hard way. 3 weeks without pole, and a lot of occasions involving cake. 😐
5. You will get used to being upside down!
For the longest time, my body would scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE every time my feet went over my head. To the point where I almost thought, okay, I’m a spin girl, I’ll never really invert. Now my lack of fear scares me sometimes. (This is another “Don’t tell my mom,” thing guys!).
6. Everyone will judge you
Get used to it. And know that, by ignoring the haters and being the same person you always were, you can even change a few minds. That’s powerful!
So I thought I would be all sneaky and take a break from boring old pole and slip into a Bellyqueen class this week.
HAHAHAHAno.
I was there two relaxing minutes before the worst possible opening words of a class EVER were uttered:
“Today we’re working on improv!”
…
Cue me running screaming from the classroom.
Of course, I didn’t do that. I just shot a death glare at my friend for not warning me ahead of time, BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE MAKING THINGS UP.
IT IS VERY SCARY.
Anyway, luckily, we did this thing first where we made a circle and faced OUTSIDE–as in, no eye contact with anyone! And then we just listened to the music and attempted to dance. With no mirrors! (I cheated though, because I was facing a window).
We did that for three minutes or so, then faced the circle again, sheepishly.
Our (terrific) instructor Natalie then had us do silly stuff like trace the letters of our names with arm or leg movements to help us break out of our usual ruts.
(I take this to mean that while watching everyone, she noticed that we were all just doing variations on “snake arms” for the whole 3 minutes).
An aside: it’s hard to feel like you have permission to try new anything you haven’t done a million times in a class. There’s a lot of self imposed pressure to do the “right” things. But how boring is that?
We turned around again (me furiously avoiding my reflection in that damn window), and this time Natalie called out sections of the body–upper, lower, everything. I thought I would run out of ideas, but really focusing just on one part, even one movement, like a bump or drop, or figure eight, was really freeing and I started coming up with moves I haven’t tried in years. The pressure to do ALL THE THINGS at once was lifted. I found myself popping out new really pretty hand gestures or foot movements, and even layering facial expressions (!!!). I don’t usually have the confidence to commit to just one movement, but having permission–wow, it was great. Sloooooowing down felt amazing.
We turned around and Natalie did a winky sort of smile and said, “Less is more, isn’t it?”
Ugh, yes Natalie, you know-it-all bitch! (Just kidding, she was great, I just hate having to learn really simple lessons and feel like a dummy).
Anyway she must have known I was thinking smug thoughts because she immediately paired us off FOR MY WORST NIGHTMARE: unbroken eye contact with a partner while improv-ing for half of an INFINITE song.
I died several deaths in that minute and a half, but, I survived, and my friend K and I are now closer friends. I, I guess we had dance sex?
Anyway.
I think I’ll be much more comfortable making the minimal eye contact (that I always avoid) in any kind of dance now. And wow, what a lesson in having confidence in doing LESS… this validates my theory on Lindsay Lohan!!!
New four week course!!!! Starting this Thursday!!!! (AKA tomorrow), SO SIGN YOUR ASS UP.
Okay, so, I arranged (and paid) for internet to happen at my new apartment when I moved in.
6 months ago.
Um, and I still don’t have it, because I have not been home to receive the modem. Like, ever.
Still working on that, but the point is, until I have magical internet, I’m switched over from “normal” Netflix to “poor people” Netflix, which means I get DVDs in the mail. (I can only paint my nails after dinner so many times, you guys).
Anyway, it was cool for a while, but after a few weeks, I started getting Random Shit. Stuff that I added to my DVD queue like, a year ago, and can’t remember why I wanted to see it.
Coincidentally, I was getting really into pole a year ago.
That’s the only reason I could think of for why, as I tore open the red envelope last week, I Know Who Killed Me was staring back at me. Whaaaaaaat?
OH WAIT. She pole dances in that ish!
So, I checked the rest of my queue, and there it is: tons of awful, awful movies that happen to feature a minute or two of pole dancing. Showgirls. Striptease. Powder Blue. Closer. Crap, most of it.
I guess I could just remove the movies from my queue. But… I’m not going to lie to you. I am totally going to let them come to my house, and when I do, I watch them start to finish. Even though I will probably learn nothing from them at this point in my dancing career, I still feel compelled to sit through these movies. Maybe just to feel superior to the actresses struggling with a reverse hook spin.
Lindsay in action
Whatever the reason, if I’m going to be a judgey asshole, I may as well do so with you guys. So let’s all feel better than Natalie Portman TOGETHER. You with me? Cool, let’s do this. Get some popcorn.
MOVIES WITH POLE: VOLUME 1
Film:I Know Who Killed Me
Star: Lindsay Lohan
Movie Quality: I told a friend I was going to watch this, and he said he saw parts of it on TV and it was “bewildering.” He was right.
Dance Skills: (Out of 10): 3 for actual pole technique, 7 for sensual movement. (And the thing with the cigarette. WAT. This doesn’t get points added or subtracted for technique, but it begs a mention.)
Highlights: Cute stripper push up where she finishes with a perfectly-timed hair flip/kick combo. I like your style, kid.
Lowlights: Did I mention the cigarette? This is less about dancing than… yuck. Also, the “bonus” footage (re: less artfully edited) of Lindsay’s pole dance on the DVD reveals that her basic fireman spin involves both feet in front of the pole. Tsk tsk.
Reality check: As part of a key plot point, Lindsay dances with silk, elbow-length gloves on. Um, no.
So how much of this was editing?: A loooooooot. A quick review of the “Bonus” dance footage on the DVD special features reveals that the “above the waist” shooting while Lindsay was on the pole was indeed a deliberate move. She’s good at faking as far as face, hair, and spin momentum, but the legs are a big ol’ mess. Also, the entire dance is in slow motion–which makes a simple move like opening your legs look extremely impressive, and other moves (that were rushed or jumped into in reality) seem super sensual. Too bad we can’t do that in real life. It is EFFECTIVE.
My takeaway: It’s easy to make a pole dance look incredibly sexy through the lens of a camera. There was a lot of slo-mo and zooming in on facial expressions, shoes, legs, hair… so ladies, we all need to go easier on ourselves when it comes to dancing perfectly for a whole song. We’re doing an extremely difficult job really well.
THAT SAID: Trust that whatever movement you’re doing is look-worthy and people will look. Lindsay did. And even when I was being judgey, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Did you guys see this movie? Want to weigh in? Have any suggestions for movies to add to my queue, that will really embarrass me if anybody visiting finds them?
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 