Full disclosure: I have always been anti-kick in my inverts.
Even before I could chopper, I remember looking at girls pushing off the floor to invert with a kind of disdain. CHEATERS, I thought.
I just feel like this is what tends to happen…
But like many beliefs we hold dear in life, my feelings to this effect have less to do with personal experience and more to do with “well, that’s what I was taught when I first started!”
Reasons Why Kicking Is Bad (I always thought)
1. It’s CHEATING, you cheating cheaters!
2. You’re developing a false sense of your own strength
3. …which you’ll become devastatingly aware of when you try an aerial invert.
1. Better to get comfortable inverting as quickly as possible (and lord knows a deadlift chopper can take frickin’ forever)
2. Inverting, even through kicking, helps build muscles that will enable you to invert better! IE. kicking inverts are better prep for deadlift ones than, well, not inverting at all.
3. She didn’t explicitly say this, but, generally her opinion seemed to be that there’s no reason to set up such a tough barrier to inverting for yourself as it just leads to frustration and cuts off your access to a variety of tricks/poses you could be battling your way through.
Now, as a form stickler… I’m conflicted here. I definitely feel part of the “If you can’t do it right, don’t do it” camp, especially when inverting and, it follows, safety is involved.
But I also wonder how much time I lost working on difficult tricks because I just couldn’t deadlift-chopper yet (and lord knows I tried all the time, and did ALL the reverse crunches).
What do you guys think? Do you HAVE your deadlift chopper or do you kick into inverts?
Here’s that Week 5 Combo, in case you’re interested. Pretty slick!
I followed BeSpun’s Flow Challenge*** on a whim (you guys all know my obsession with Leigh Ann) and it’s been TORTURING ME.
I’ve been home for a wedding and thus away from my pole while these gorgeous flow videos are going up and I WANT TO TRY ALL THE FLOWS RIGHT NOW AHHHHH.
(***Important note: “BeSpun” autocorrects as “Pubes” on an iPad. The more you know.)
Anyway, check them out–if not to submit to the video battle, then at least to get a little inspiration or a new combo to play with. Of course because they are from Leigh Ann’s studio they are SeXXXy OMGZ, and I am totally okay with that.
Are we loving these moves? Hating them? I just hope they look as good without shoes because lol nope @ the shoes.
And here’s what I’VE been up to: some flying, some weddinging, and some holding a baby-while-playing-dominoes. The usual.
Elegance.She was helping me add.
And speaking of flow and being at home, I got yet another Netflix DVD from a queue I clearly made two years ago called “Strip to It: Core Moves and Fantasies.”
The point of the DVD is obviously to teach you a few moves to put together and “perform” for a significant other, but, shhhh, the off label use: a terrific crash course in filler moves for pole!
If you’re one of those people who does TRICKS TRICKS TRICKS in class but has trouble smoothing things out in a routine, these are some super cute basics to mix in. Obviously, the DVD is called “Strip to It” so the choreo is on the sexy side, but you can definitely dial it down to flirty, or even add a gymnastics edge to make it more your speed. I mean, basics are basics, am I right? And the best part: you don’t need a pole or even a whole lot of space to practice these at home.
It’s family-gathering and wedding season, so I’m afraid I’ve been rather delinquent with my weekend poling. Luckily, my gym being a part of my workplace and all, I’ve been staying in pretty decent shape. Hopefully that translates into still being able to do pole tricks. We’ll see when I get back into the studio this weekend!
Speaking of the studio, here’s a little flow sequence I learned a couple of weeks ago that makes me cringe (not very smooth, but, I like to video things as soon as I learn them so I don’t forget!). I haven’t figured out how to style it yet, but I really dig the moves. You’ll just have to take my word for it that hey looked much better when Shaina did them 😛
Aside from slooooow pole progress, I’ve been spending time with my #1 CHICK, my niece Julia. She learned how to wave, kind of (she does it backwards), so, I lost like 9 hours of my life being entertained by that. Here’s a picture of her “waving” at my mom with just-out-of-the-bath hair. I mean….
Here’s us having an intellectual conversation up in the Adirondacks on the 4th of July. She was telling me her thoughts on Nietzsche, and also that she thinks popsicles are too cold.
On the dating front, I also spent some deeply emotionally satisfying time on Tinder:
Which made me just kind of tired.
In happier news, I had a bellydance show! Here are some pictures. It was a blast! That’s me, back center 🙂
So that’s what I’ve been up to. How about you guys?
PS. Does anyone have any awkward sunburns yet? I somehow ended up with a small crescent of burn ONLY on my right boob. So awkward.
Okay I’m TRYING to have an open mind, really! I heard about this documentary coming out called “Off the Floor” about the first ever pole dance company (as in, a company for contemporary pole dancing that performs in a group, like any other dance company).
So I watched the trailer and immediately thought, “Well, this is not a good idea.”
BUT… “Maybe I am wrong and I will be impressed,” I also thought.
So I watched a video of the troop performing. And yeah. I just don’t think this is a good idea.
I’m being a hater, right? I knooooow. But pole is just not precise enough to be performed in numbers. Even with two people it starts looking messy. Pole is a momentum game. And that’s just on static mode–forget spin. It’s very hard to control. This is obvious to me even as I struggle to hit musical marks on a pole by myself in Poleography… I can’t imagine trying to stay crisply in sync with 12 other people.
BUT, I thought, maybe these chicas will nail it.
They did not.
Don’t get me wrong–individually they’re very good. I just really wanted to be impressed with Chinese-pole levels of precision, and the women in this troupe seem to be about the same level as many of the students at my studio. Which is to say, they’re excellent, but they’re not Cirque du Soleil. Which I feel is really required for a mess of people on poles to look like anything clean or cohesive.
What do you guys think? Am I being a bitch? I wanted to like it, but I prefer my dance like I prefer my vegetables: CRISP.
I think I’ve blabbed on here before about working out during the day, but, things have changed.
I used to take a class called “Chisel” that was weight training, but like, high intensity, high-rep, agility-based training (was any of that in English or am I wiling out with the hyphens?) We would do squats and lunges combined with other stuff so that our heart rates would stay up, but blessedly, no jumping jacks or bouncing of any kind is involved.
I was ALL ABOUT THIS CLASS until something horrible happened: our instructor peaced out. He was all, “BRB in October,” and we’re all “HAAAAALP, you can’t abandon us during swimsuit season!!”
(Disclaimer: I don’t give a crap about “swimsuit season” and consider a “bikini body” to simply be your body in a two-piece. But, these were the concerns of many of my classmates and I’m trying to reflect that).
So now we have a new instructor. I tried to keep an open mind, but as soon as he said “Set up your equipment in the middle, we’re going to need the perimeter of the room for the warm up,” I made a made dash for the locker room.
Why? To retrieve my second sports bra. And like, MAYBE cry a little. Because I have huge boobs, and it makes me hate the running I knew we were about to do.
And oh god, it wasn’t just running. It was jump squats. Jumping jacks. That football thing where you shuffle really fast but up and down the aerobic step. It. Was. Terrible.
Real talk: I’m a 32DD, and even with my two bras, I came very close to losing an eye.
So when I saw this article I was like DUH, my boobs make literally 80% of all my exercise decisions for me.
That explains why I love bellydance and pole, but not Zumba. Why I was a swimmer in high school and not a runner. Why I have always, always hated trampolines.
Do your boobs call the athletic shots for you? Am I the only one in the world who has to layer sports bras?
Here are a few shots of me modeling in soft, romantic fluorescent light of my litchenbedroom (I live in a studio). I didn’t think to show you my eyes closed because, naturually, my number one concern while taking photos is making sure my nose doesn’t take up 3/4ths of the shot. Sorry! #priorities
I woke up like this. (LOL JK this took 45 mins).
Before this I was trying to get a clear shot of the makeup in the bathroom for a long time, and my face started getting tired. My smile became kind of… demented… and I rolled with it.
Trying to be pretty is tiring.
True story: I used to make faces at my ex-boyfriend all the time while being silly and he would suddenly get really serious and say, “That was too scary, never do that face again.”
ANYWAY. This makeup class was two hours long, and offered at my bellydance studio, taught by the director of the school.
K, a teacher and performer, used to do 5 shows a day in Las Vegas in the same face of makeup, so clearly she knew her pencil eyeliner from her potted to her liquid felt-tip. The first hour was spent watching in awe as she applied her typical stage face, which was awkward, but informative. It’s not very often you get to openly gape at another dancer while she does her makeup and not get a strange look.
True Story #2: speaking of dancers putting on makeup, part of the reason I decided to take this class was because of a passive aggressive comment one of my dance idols made before our last show. She came up behind me in the dressing room while I was digging through my makeup bag, and thinking she needed the mirror, I immediately cleared a spot for her. But she said, “No, no, I’m fine–did you do your own makeup?” and I totally fan-girled and turned red and said yes, yes I did (OMG SHE LIKES MY MAKEUP??!!!). And then she sighed and walked away. “We really have to offer that makeup class at Bellyqueen again.”
BURN. BURRRRRRRRRRRRRN.
So anyway, I decided to take the class–the second, more hilarious half of which was spent using our own supplies to try and do anything resembling what we had just been shown. The steps were as follows.
OFFICIAL STAGE MAKEUP ORDER OF OPERATIONS:
-Moisturizer (always, K said we should let it soak in for 10 minutes before doing anything else)
-Primer (Yas, suction cup your makeup to yo’ face!)
-Eyelid primer (I dismissed this as prissy and unnecessary until Kaeshi put a little on her hand and then applied some blue eyeshadow over it–which look very intense, highly pigmented, and practically opaque. She then applied some of the same eyeshadow on the bare skin next to the patch of primer and it look about 5 shades lighter and completely see-through. ALRIGHTY THEN. [buys all of the eyelid primer])
-Foundation (K applied this with a brush, a technique I fully endorse)
-Concealer (zits, etc)
-Powder (set that ish!)
-Eyebrows (There is some science to this! Did you know your brow should arch just over the outside rim of your pupil? And try this trick: hold a pencil parallel to your nose at the nostril: that’s where you eyebrow should start. Then hold it diagonally from your nostril to the outisde of you pupil. That’s where your eyebrow should end. Actually fuck it, here is a picture).
-Eye shadow highlight (You probably know this trick–champagne/white/silvery shimmer shadow under the brow bones and in the inner corner of your eyes. This will contrast with your darker shadows to give more dimension (re: highs and lows) to your face that stage lighting will wash out)
-Eye liner (complicated, I’ll revisit this)
-Eye shadow, tri color (FINALLY something I know about. I’ve been doing the brown bone/crease/outside corner trick practically out of the womb. But turns out… my technique was lacking–K said I needed to bring my dark “crease” shade a lot higher up, since I was trying to keep it safe and close to my lid. She was right, of course.)
-Eye lashes (Note: fuck these. They are gorgeous, but so unwieldy.)
-Contouring (Kim Kardashian killed any interest I had in manipulating the look of my bone structure but I grudgingly did it).
-Blush (Apples of the cheeks only, bitches, it’s 2014.)
-Lip liner
-Lipstick (the kind you can practically peel off like nail polish for children, ie. Cover Girl Outlast, etc.)
So those are the steps… but now let me impart on you my biggest stage makeup breakthroughs (since, come on, we all know how to put on basic makeup).
Dat gap. (between top and bottom eye lines, not thighs). And yes that IS the Verazzano Bridge, thanks for noticing.
BREAKTHROUGHS:
1. Connecting your top and bottom eye lines makes your eyes look tiny
The pros leave a SPACE. (I know, my mind was blown too). And for extra points, use that light colored eyeshadow you popped on your brown bone to further define the little space. Use a small brush or Q-tip.
Here how ya do it: start by lining your lower lash line. Continue the line (keeping the same angle) past your lash line. Then, starting from mid lashline on the top, start drawing a line and pull it out parallel to your bottom line. Fill it in and bring it up to the inside corner of your eye. SHAZAM.
2. You can get away with cheap-ass eye shadow if you have a good primer
For stage make up especially (where you need to see that shit coming and going from 200 feet), pigment is everything. But pigment is pricey, and we can’t all afford K’s magical trunk of MAC goodness. This is where dropping a little cash on a good eye shadow primer up front will help you get tons of use out of the crappy eye shadow you already have: it grabs and holds the pigment (however little), making it appear super intense, and keeping it on your face.
I used Urban Decay… Potion… something or other? It worked well!
3. Contouring for stage isn’t just about making your face skinny or tanned-looking like IRL
It’s about replacing the natural high-and-low dimensions that stage lighting will wipe out. Ditto for the eybrows and lashes and lips. Stage makeup is a little different than your everyday “look-young-and-rosy-and-doe-eyed” game. Your eyebrows, for example, have to be clearly defined so that the audience can see you lift or scrunch them. They’re as much a part of your dance expression as fingers or a pointed toe. Same goes for eyes and lips–the makeup simply makes them visible, so you really can’t be shy about highlighting them.
4. You can reuse eyelashes
What?! I didn’t know this. You just need to wash the glue off gently after a wear. That makes me feel a lot better dropping $20 bucks on a pair at Sephora.
So that’s all the knowledge I have to drop on you guys! Speaking of Sephora, I completely spent $150 I don’t have on new makeup in a pre-show panic Saturday. But I’m now the proud owner of a proper pot of eyeliner, quality lashes, a single pan eyeshadow (NOT PART OF A KIT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS, WHAT), a new angle brush, and a general mishmash of overpriced, undersized products.
Do you have a go-to stage look? A favorite product? Can you reassure me that higher-end products are indeed worth their insane price points?
That means two things, both related to each other:
1. I have issues showing my stomach because I never know what the eff it’s going to look like, and I can’t seem to find any correlation between diet and exercise and whether or not it’s going to be flat our puffed out post-natal style. (sorry).
and 2. I have literal, physical stomach issues. I have been in denial of this for a long time, because the aforementioned diet, exercise, and a very low dose of prescription meds mostly keeps it under control. During other stressful times (NOW, like, totally right now), things go a little haywire and all kinds of pain and general puffiness ensue.
I’ve been doing all the things I normally do to get things under control: up the dosage on my meds. Drink tons of water and exercise even though I’m feeling some ouches. Eat lots of basic, varied foods. But, ya know, I’m still dealing. It’s a flare up. And despite a better-than-ever diet and 5-days a week gym routine, it’s giving me a Homer Simpson gut.
…Just in a time for a belly dance show on Sunday! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
Anyway, I’m still trying to live my normal life like this isn’t happening to me, and I was in a pole class when we decided to do a Teddy.
1. I think they’re ugly. I mean… you’re basically holding your thighs open like, LOOK AT MY CROTCH. LOOK AT IT. I mean….
2. I can’t do them. I get up there and the underside of my arms is like NOPE, and then I slide down with a loud, long screech.
3. They fucking hurt to fail at (I can’t say “they hurt to do” because I have never successfully done one. Fuck.)
Oh yeah, and last but not least, I hate Teddies because never fail, when we’re trying to do them, the instructor says “you really need to expose a little stomach to grip the pole.”
And then I pretend that I didn’t hear so I don’t have to lift my shirt, but everybody else does. And then when I inevitably fail at my next Teddy attempt, the instructor will say again, “It will REALLY help you to lift your shirt a little and get some skin.” She’ll avoid eye contact with me so as to pretend that she’s not directing her comment at me, the only person in the room with my torso fully covered, and I’ll pretend once again not to hear her. The dance continues.
Yes, I really hate showing my stomach that much.
Yes, I’m aware that I belly dance and that’s pretty ironic. (I almost always keep my stomach covered in belly classes too).
Anyway, I’m already anticipating horrible, bloated pictures from my show, so here’s a preemptive strike: a picture of how good my abs looked this past Saturday.
I have so few days where my hard work actually shows, so while I was Face Timing a friend while chopping vegetables and went to wipe my hands on my shirt, I saw my stomach and went WHOA, GOOD STOMACH DAY FOR ONCE and snapped a shot.
I know it sounds vain, but when I’m in classes this week in a normally-loose top that’s stuck to my pot belly like cling wrap, I need that picture.
It’s an emotional thing.
Do you guys have a body part that continually embarrasses you? Am I missing something about the Teddy? How in the hell does your armpit support your whole body??? Pls explain.
The description for the class (at my favorite pole studio) said that “Acro” was great conditioning for pole, and would smooth out transitions and floor work. Perfect, right?
It was also a Level 1 class, so I was like, “Mkay, I’m not going to know what I’m doing, but I’m a fit person, I can handle this!”
LOL WRONG.
SO WRONG.
Here’s the thing: I have tools for approaching most forms of dance or exercise. I know a few things about body alignment and positioning, posture, and safety (using core to protect the back, keeping shoulders retracted, tucking the chin to protect neck and head while inverted).
But some stuff, I have no way of approaching. It disorients me. I have no idea what “right” feels like, or looks like, and it’s so jarring and unfamiliar and dangerous-feeling that I’m just totally petrified by it.
There is one category that singularly encapsulates these types of movements that terrify me, and they can be contained by one word: Gymnastics.
Let me throw out a few other words and phrases to define my terror:
-All my weight on my hands? But that’s what feet are for.
-You want me to fling myself through the air with my head being the closest thing to the ground. oh…kay. On purpose????
-I don’t want to put all my weight on my head, even if I can use my hands. That’s how breaking necks happens, yes?
-I can’t jump over my own leg. What? How? I don’t… what?
Here is a sampling of the exercises we were instructed to do–in groups of two/three, while the rest of the class watched, for extra enjoyment.
-Go into a handstand. Come down. Do a pushup. Pike your hands to your feet. Repeat across the room.
-Lean backwards into a bridge on one hand. Sweep the other hand around and down and lift a leg into a split. Sweep out of the bridge on the other hand. Roll over into a plank position and do a pushup. Pike to standing. Repeat across the room.
-Some kind of new fangled cartwheel that you do a fancy turn out of. (I was so tired and frustrated at this point I couldn’t see straight, so I don’t remember the finer points).
About 30 minutes into the longest hour and a half of my life, one of the acrobats in my class (because really, none of these people doing handstands like LOLthisiseasy could be called “level one students”) noticed I seemed… off. I thought I was doing a good job of covering how close to stress tears I was, but I guess trying to hide my quivering lower lip by taking a sip of water and then dumping my water down myself (because my lip wouldn’t stop quivering) was probably less than subtle.
I think the conversation went something like this:
Her: “Are you okay?”
Me: *blubbers unintelligibly*
And then she went to go get the teacher to help me. Which was very nice, but a new form of torture altogether–the clumsy idiot receiving special instruction from the teacher while froggy jumping next to flawless handstands is not a fun role to play.
I got through class, but, here’s the sad thing: I kind of want to learn these skills! I just don’t ever want to back to this class ever again though. Someone tell me–if people are doing perfect handstands in a level one class with no special help, where exactly are you supposed to start?
And does anyone else have a full body aversion to going upside down NOT on a pole? It just feels so open and terrifying to me. My body literally won’t let me do it.
How do you leaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarn.
(Please tell me).
In other news, the universe is fair after all, because I my first ballet class at my gym (re: NOT a dance studio) and I was by far the most coordinated person in there. Which duh, it was a bunch on non-dancers. But it was really healing for my ego. Updates on my rond de jambes to come!!
Nothing is a better incentive for me to get into the studio, personally, than the prospect of sitting in my hot apartment all Saturday.
Morning is fine, and evening will probably be spent gallivanting about in sundress, but that stretch from 12pm to 3pm is brutal, oppressive, and more often than not, totally squandered.
Which makes it PERFECT pole time.
I hit the studio for the first time in a very long time this weekend. Not that I haven’t been on the pole–I have! For several hours every week, actually, but teaching the same 5 or 6 moves to bachelorettes every class.
That means blistered hands and pole burn out, but very little headway on new skills or strength. I like to tell myself that all pole time is good pole time, but, that’s not exactly true… judging from my greatly diminished ability to invert and climb. Whoops.
Case in point: I took a Level 1 class at body and pole (with the fabulous Shaina) and it KICKED MY ASS. A Level 1. And like, kicked my ass to an embarrassing extent.
Here’s a couple of practice vids I shot after the hour and and a half sweat fest (disclaimer: summer is only a good time for pole if the AC is full functioning), which include a spin combo (dip into a pirouette with a bit of a fan-kick leg into a one-handed backhook) and a carousel-kick climb/fan-kick/thigh grip combo that DESTROYED me.
Sorry for all the hyphens, but wow, I was loving the complexity. Shaina does such a great job of giving everyone options to embellish according to skill level, and it makes for a lot of fun experimenting, and never-ending opportunities to push yourself.
How’s the summer poling coming for everyone else? Are we all seriously dipping into the dry hands? (I just bought 2 new bottles).
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 