Just saw this and couldn’t resiiiiiiiiiist… here’s what I wish I knew:
1. You can’t force everything with sheer willpower/stubbornness
I can’t tell you how many times I had decided a move was simply impossible, only to fall into it very easily on an attempt a month later (after weeks of struggling). When you’re ready, you’re ready. When you’re not, stop torturing yourself and work on something else!
2. Some people will never get it. Others will, and they won’t be the people you expect
My grandmother thinks it’s cool. My ex was horrified. Go figure.
3. Your body will change
I guess I assumed, like most people, that pole is all about upper body strength. So I was totally shocked when I got lower ab cuts and an entirely new ass. SWEET. (It comes in handy, too, because pole shorts are tiny).
4. And if you take a break, it will change right the fuck back
I learned this lesson the hard way. 3 weeks without pole, and a lot of occasions involving cake. đ
5. You will get used to being upside down!
For the longest time, my body would scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE every time my feet went over my head. To the point where I almost thought, okay, I’m a spin girl, I’ll never really invert. Now my lack of fear scares me sometimes. (This is another “Don’t tell my mom,” thing guys!).
6. Everyone will judge you
Get used to it. And know that, by ignoring the haters and being the same person you always were, you can even change a few minds. That’s powerful!
OH SNAP. So I went to a pole show yesterday. And it. Was. Awesome.
I dragged my shy, non-poling male friend, and I think he was scared. But witnessing his complete bewilderment was half the fun.
I know none of you were about to take the R train all the way down to Bay Ridge for this, so let me tell you a little bit about the show. In alphabetic-als, because I’m really tired you guys.
A: Aerialists! There were two hoop girls, and they killed it. See, you can do stuff both near and far from the ground on a pole, but when you’re on a hoop, you’ve got the same odds of landing on your neck for the ENTIRE PERFORMANCE. Brass balls. These ladies got em.
ALSO, apparently you’re supposed to wear leg covering when you hoop, but one particularly bad ass girl decided to pole and hoop (Hey bro, I hear you like bruises…), so, she was bare legged. #Swag. The other is my girl Lauryn, who I’ve actually never seen dance before this, and she completely blew me away. The confidence… the grace… and of course, her amazing costume which actually wasn’t a surprise because I knew she was artistic like that. Anyway, I want to hoop now, except that pole has taught me nothing if not that ALL AERIAL ARTS SUCK AND ARE HARD.
B: BOYS:Â I’ve seen guys hit the pole once in a while, but dude last night KILLED it. Most guys do a lot of strength stuff and skip over the lyrical, but last night’s sole male performer was pure pole poetry… and he definitely did some shit I’ve never seen before, so hell yeah to creativity. He also showed up later in a Pole Threesome (TM? must be? because I have never seen this craziness before), in which he supported a girl by HER FOOT, by squeezing it with HIS LEGS. So many questions. Epic. Moving on.
C: Chair dance: So technically, this didn’t involve a chair, but the emcee of the event called her boyfriend out of the crowd, sat him Indian-style against a pole, and did quite possibly the most spine-tingly sexy dance I’ve ever seen in my life. True story. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. And I was close enough to the stage to see him mouth, “You are BEAUTIFUL,” and “I love you” during the dance, so, yeah. Way too much cute/sexy/poignant for me to even handle. Amazing.
D: Doubles: There were so many great twosomes and threesomes last night, including an incredible booty-popping number with ECP’s owner. I love when dancers are actually capable of crazy, crazy shit on the pole… but they can also break it down and have fun with the booty. Work.
E: Entertainers: So last night I learned that there’s a difference between being an incredible dancer/trickster, and being an entertainer. I realized this when a fairly new dancer (1 year, according to the program… that bitch) completely owned the audience with a few well timed pauses, smiles, and eye-bats during her (slinky, confident, gorgeous) performance. I find this totally inspiring, because I can’t do shoulder mounts and shit, but yes, I can flip my hair (!!!) I have a shot, you guys!!!!
F: Feedback: I also learned last night that you can’t just chill at a pole show. You need to yell, and scream, and encourage the dancers. This was new to me, since I’ve seen most performers on YouTube.
That’s all for now, because it’s been a busy weekend and I’m feeling lazy.
Have you guys ever been to a live pole show? What did you think? Did you feel discouraged or inspired?
Have you ever been in one? Is it as nerve-wracking as I’m guessing it is?
Fill me in!
Meanwhile, be SUPER jealous, because Pantera was at the show last night and she is both an incredible dancer and out of her damn mind. This is her. Really, how strong can a person be? Ridiculous.
Happy twirls (and hoops, and whatever the fuck else you guys are making look easy),
Can I just say, one of the reasons I like working all the time is that there’s zero time for wallowing. Whether I’m teaching, at the office, or at the gym, being pleasant, approachable, and authoritative is just part of the job. So is hair and makeup, and dress.Â
I usually just push through my days when I’m tired, or sick, or sad, but right now, I’m dealing with all three. Simultaneously.
Working 2-3 different jobs in a single day can make anybody a little dizzy, but combine that with a bummer on the love life front and the flu, and yeah, I’m done.
I was trying to compensate with a little time off, and a lot of time drinking and cry-laughing with my best friend (literally: I walked in his door already crying and holding a bottle of wine, and we both cracked up when I couldn’t find an opener), and a lot less time by myself, but, I’m not fighting it anymore.
I was trying to pole yesterday and everything hurt. I wasn’t sticking, all my strength felt… gone… and honestly, it wasn’t any fun. Which shook me up a little. Pole is ALWAYS fun, even if it takes a few minutes to get into the zone.
I was supposed to go to a thing last night, but instead, I did something I’ve been afraid to do for about a week now: I stayed home. Alone. I took off my makeup (first 24 hours without any make up for… jesus, months, at least). I napped. I listened to music and washed my dishes, and tidied my medicine cabinet. I went to bed at 11pm, by myself.Â
It sucked a little. But, not as badly as I thought it would.
When I’m ready, I’ll start poling again. I’ll go out. I’ll meet new people.
But right now, I’m really bummed out, you guys. I’m tired, and disappointed, and I’m not sure what I want to do next yet. And I’m going to fully face that instead of “powering through. And when I’m damn good and ready to put on a brave, made up face and get out there again, I will. And it will be as awesome as this is awful. Which, by all accounts, should be really, really fucking awesome.
Love what she says about how pole keeps you in shape while you’re distracted đ that’s my MO!
I also second the notion to go slow and listen to your body. There’s no reason to be pushing past your limits right away, especially when you can make basic moves so beautiful. And if you work at extending (or like she says, doing everything “higher and bigger”), you’re still going to be building strength and flexibility, without hurting yourself.
Uhhhhhh…. dedicate 5 or 6 years of your life to pole and develop a taste for pain?
…not quite Natasha Wang yet, is it?
For somebody who’s literally never been on a pole before, I felt like it would be mean to let her think getting to that level is anything but extremely difficult and physically painful. (Think back to your first pole sits–remember how much that hurt? And how annoying it was that it didn’t even look impressive?)
This is what bugs me about pole, kinda–I’m really, really glad people like JB are rocking out and getting respect for our sport. But, people like her are essentially Cirque de Soleil performers. They’re freashishly masterful. FREAKISHLY.
And I feel like people don’t understand that. So you’ve got the people on one hand who equate pole with stripping, and the people on the other hand that see Jenyne Butterfly and think, oh, okay, she’s a few classes in.
I mean, I have a pole at my house, I teach beginner classes 3 days a week, and I practice on my own at least 3-4 days a week. And only now am I getting my knees straight on aerial stuff. After a year and a half of total obsession. A clean climb and nice, straight layback are the only things I have in common with JB’s aerial stuff, and I freakin’ teach (though, to be fair, my classes are completely on the ground, and I’m quite proud of my clean, consistent spins, transitions, flow, and floor work… or I wouldn’t be teaching it).
But I don’t think a new student wants to hear about that stuff. They want to skip walking and go straight to inversions like Jenyne Butterfly.
Oy.
On somewhat related note, do you guys feel like there are two camps of pole: spin girls and strength girls? If so, I’m definitely the former. Are you one or the other? A tasty blend of both, but with a secret favorite? You can tell me, I won’t say anything, I swear.
It’s funny, I remember watching a lot of Leigh Ann Orsi (I think she has a new last name now…) on YouTube before I started dancing, and being totally bored with the upside down stuff. I just wanted to see her walk and pirouette. Even though she’s at a serious competitive level now, I still like her early videos best because she flows like a MOFO. For me, it’s really the distinguishing characteristic of pole from other forms of dance… the way you move around it is just hypnotic. Gah, still gives me chills.
Is that weird?
(Yes, probably).
(I’m okay with it).
Anyway, I can’t wait to post a video of me busting my ass trying to teach myself an iguana hold, but I left my camera cable at work. So until tomorrow…. here’s a video of Recent Leigh Ann Orsi doing her thing. Which is apparently a shoulder mount flip into a split. Jesus Christ I hate everything.
Let me start off this post with a resounding DAMN IT.
Does this pole make me look slutty?
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.
Whew. I feel better. Onward!
So, like, what’s up with this trend of female rappers and singers bragging about throwing money at strippers?
It’s almost like it’s a requirement to be allowed in the hip hop world as a female (and not as a video girl) that you shit on other girls (the video kind). To be one of the boys you have to objectify other women–just like the boys do.
But it’s okay, because those video girls are totally not smart, tomboy types that are allowed to be considered smart and cool–they’re sexy. They’re strippers. Let them crawl around on the floor and pick up our money with their teeth. It’s not like they’re people who can be multiple things. They are sexy, and so they can only be one thing: sexy things that are sexy sex that people want to have sex with.
Tell me you don’t see what I’m talking about:
Or HEAR what I’m talking about:
This is part of why I love telling people I pole. Because they’re all, BUT YOU’RE NOT A DUMB WHORE. And I’m like EXACTLY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
We have no problem with men being smart and successful and sexy as hell. Why not women?
Why can’t we own it and love it, and not have to trade off other parts of ourselves, like intellect, or humor, or for god’s sake, humanity?
Which is why I say damn it. Damn it all. But I’m not giving up on people. I’m not going to go into hiding, or quit pole because it makes people’s brains explode that I’m not a bimbo.
I told a guy I know that I teach pole the other day, and he said he thought it was cool. Then  I made a joke about how my mom doesn’t get it, and he said, “Why would you tell ever her that?!”
…Why would I tell her?
Why wouldn‘t I tell her?
The real question is, why would I do something and make it such a huge part of my life if I also think it’s so unacceptable that I have to hide it? From my own mom?
I’m not going to cave to this idea that you have to choose between being smart and being sexy.
Frankly, that’s a steaming pile of bull shit and sorry to go all Hot Topic on you, but I refuse to conform.
Ladies and Gentleman, I POLE DANCE.
I FEEL SEXY DOING IT.
I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE AND A FULL TIME JOB, BUT THIS MAKES MY LIFE FEEL MORE FULL AND COMPLETE.
I’m not giving it up and I’m not hiding, because I don’t see anything wrong with it.
If you can’t handle it, you have the problem and need to work on it. Not me.
POLE PROUD ladies. Get it, and don’t apologize for it.
Damn.
Okay, that’s off my chest. New schedule!!!! I’m teaching a pole dynamics 4-week course on Tuesdays starting in March, plus the usual spins and intro classes on Thursdays and Saturdays. Sign up on the website to secure your spot (especially for dynamics, which is strictly one-to-a-pole and fills up fast!)
I am okay with this, mainly because I don’t have to deal with any
And who could have known… I was already straddling my dream date.
rollercoaster emotional stuff, but also because, without all the “quality time” nonsense, I can take good care of myself–cook well rounded meals, paint my toenails regularly, get 7.5 hours of sleep, yada yada yada. I realize this makes me sound old, but with 3 jobs and a 1-1.5 hour commute, making myself a salad before I collapse is kind of a big deal. So I’m enjoying it.
Besides, boys are fun, but if you see the relationship through its natural trajectory, it becomes horrible and exhausting. Like, you take an adorable puppy home, but then it gets big and pees on stuff and bites your friends.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is probably going to be like every time I have a bad hangover and decide to not drink a certain kind of liquor again. I love boys. I’ll get back out there. I’ll fall madly in love and get my heart broken, and then write another post like this in 6 months.
(Just like every time I forget about the dry heaving and think it’s a good idea again to shoot whiskey on an empty stomach again).
BUT FOR NOW: I’m in a new kind of committed relationship, and his name is Pole.
Why Pole Is Better Than Any Boyfriend I’ve Ever Had:
1. He’s always hard
WINK.
2. He’s supportive
Seriously, I can swing circles around him.
3. He ALWAYS wants to dance with me
…and he never does the white man’s overbite. Better yet…
4. He always lets me have the spotlight
Pole, u so secure.
5. He lifts me up and makes me stronger
How many men (ahem, boys) can you say this about?
6. …But when it hurts, it’s not for no reason
Gotta bruise a little, there’s no getting around it. But boy is that gorgeous new pose worth it!
7. He doesn’t get jealous
Not even when I flirt with chair đ
8. He doesn’t get mad if I flirt with him and then decide to go to sleep instead
Sometimes you just do a few pirouettes and decide you’re too tired for anything serious, ya know?
9. He’s always there for me
When I can’t sleep, when I’m bored on a Saturday afternoon, when I want to show off in a picture, when I want to scare my mom… the list is endless.
10. We look great together
Seriously. Cute couple alert.
Anyway, Happy Twirls!!! And fuck Valentine’s day. Right? Right.
So I finally checked my stats (through the fingers over my eyes) and found this hilarious assortment of search terms. Enjoy them, below, with my comments (because obviously, I can’t leave people looking for answers hanging, can I?!):
Key words:
“how do pole dancers vagina smells like candy?”
I don’t know⌠and I think you mean strippers, in which case we’re probably talking about Love Spell by Victoria’s Secret (or Champagne and Strawberries. Come on, you know it’s true).
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 