And then the clouds opened up and God said, “Here’s that Intermediate teacher you mentioned earlier.”

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

So as you guys remember, I have been bitching and moaning a lot about intermediate teachers.

Basically, my problem has been being stuck between “way too easy advanced-beginner” and “holy shit I can’t do any of that yet intermediate.”

This would not be a problem if the intermediate classes were friendly to newcomers (ie. breaking down new moves instead of just having students do combos including a string of them… as warm up).

But, yeah, the opposite.

So, my basic strategy has been to go to these scary intermediate classes prepared for failure and embarrassment. I’ve been sucking it up, checking my pride at the door, and giving every move my hardest and most ignorant attempts (which inevitably lead to total failure). I figure even if I’m not hitting any of the poses, at least I’m working the muscles trying to get into them, and maybe one day I’ll get there.

This approach still sucks though because 1. it’s pretty humiliating, 2. the teachers I’ve had so far seem repelled by my failingness and prefer to assist students who are instead 80% there, and 3. ouch. (I’m hitting the ground a lot).

So imagine my utter delight at ending up in this one fantastic teacher’s class. I almost don’t even want to give you a name because I don’t want to blow up my spot, but Rica at Body and Pole, you guys…. yessssss.

I just stalked her for you guys and found this video, which is her first place performance at Polesque (a show I HIGHLY recommend seeing this year if you can).

But let me be real: as bad ass as this performance is (and as much hair and flexibility envy as I am experiencing), I kind of could give a shit this point about dance or choreo skills from an instructor. I care about a person who can TEACH. And that’s why I love this chick.

First off, she’s hilarious. She describes the posture for pencil spins by having you “imagine rainbows are shooting out of your vagina through your feet.”

She’s also tough (pull-up climbs, uggggggggggggh), but reasonable. She breaks things down. She gives you different components to a move so that if you can only climb and get into the first position, that’s okay–just work on that. She doesn’t shame you. (I’ve noticed a lot of teachers throwing around the “by this level you should know this” line, WHICH IS REALLY OBNOXIOUS BECAUSE WHY DO YOU THINK I’M HERE? I AM TRYING TO LEARN AND YOU’RE JUST SHAMING ME FOR NOT ALREADY KNOWING ARGHHHHHH).

And here’s the best part: she comes around to everybody as you work on stuff.

Not just the people she’s friends with.

Not just the people who are doing well and want style suggestions.

Every. Body.

And again, she’s tough. I did a shitty chopper into a pose and she called me on it, but was also like, “I wouldn’t let you get away with that except I know you’re tired” (which I really appreciated because yeah, it was an hour and 10 minutes into the class, my 10th or 11th invert in a row, and I had been giving my literal all. My arms were throbbing hours after that class). But I like being pushed! Don’t let me get away with anything!! Yes. I’ll do better next time!

Oh oh oh, and then this happened: she called us to the middle of the room to cool down and she put this song on.

Like, I feel as though Jesus has directly guided me into this class. Seriously.

Anyway, thank you Rica!!!!!!! After such a rough patch, I’m remembering why I liked pole again (even when it’s challenging). I’m extremely grateful and more motivated than ever. Cheesy, but true 🙂

How’s everybody else doing with training?

Are we planning some poling for the blizzard?

I’ve honestly been too sore to freestyle with all the classes I’ve been forcing myself into but I’m hoping to sneak some time in tomorrow. Maybe some good stretching too!

Stay warm and dry!!

Dear men: here’s how to ruin a date with a pole dancer.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

I’m sure you guys have seen those “ruin a date with an XYZ in 5 words or less” hashtags floating around, and I have SO many thoughts on this, as a pole dancer.

This is a picture of a bitchy-looking christmas tchotchke that says "Noel" but I like how it looks like it says "Noe" kinda like bae. Also, THAT FACE THO.
This is a picture of a bitchy-looking Christmas tchotchke that says “Noel” but I like how it looks like it says “Noe” kinda like bae. Also, THAT FACE THO.

I was able to jot down one or two or five “infivewords” date-ruiners, but, let me expound on them a little, just for shits and giggles.

Boys who want to date pole dancers, listen up:

1. “Have you ever considered stripping?”

Would you ever ask a girl this on a date?

How about a dancer?

Still no? THEN DO NOT ASK ME.

2. “Why not wear more clothes?”

God, how many times do I need to explain friction.

Also, this is vaguely slut-shamey and I don’t appreciate being put on the defense about how not a whore I am.

3. “Give me a private show!”

See question 1.

4. “Oh wow, so you strip?”

No, why, do you?

5. “My friend’s a stripper too!”

Can’t speak, just knocked myself unconscious by banging my head on the dinner table.

 

Actually let’s simplify this–here’s how to avoid offending a pole dancer:

1. Don’t assume she’s a stripper

2. Don’t assume her style is sexy and that she’ll “dance for you”

3. Don’t put her on the defense based on your assumptions

 

And even better–how to make a pole dancer wildly happy:

1. Ask her friendly, polite questions about dancing that don’t drip with fear and judgement

2. Give her the benefit of the doubt

3. Tell her it looks hard and ask her how a trick you saw once works (WE WILL GEEK OUT SO HARD).

Got something to add?

I especially want to hear it if someone actually said it to you…

Why is it so hard to find good “intermediate” lessons????

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Quick poll: is it just me, or does pole go 0 to 100 REAL QUICK.

Like, there’s intro to pole… then there’s “intermediate” which is people working on their fonjis with no help beyond a spot.

There are a few notable exceptions to this rule: Sacred in Brooklyn is like a, “okay, what does everybody want to work on today?” type studio, and the teachers are fantastic about giving modifications and really checking in with everyone about how they’re feeling with new moves.

Unfortunately, they’re also about an hour and a half away from me (it’s so hard to get TO brooklyn FROM brooklyn… don’t even get me started), and they only have like 4 poles, so there’s that. ECP was great too, but now defunct.

So long story short, I’ve been trying to go to THE INDUSTRY STANDARD studio (y’all know who), but I have a serious, serious bone to pick with their class structures.

Here’s the deal: I have legit been taking level 1 class there for a year–despite doing all kinds of upside down, handstandy stuff at my previous studios.

This is 100% because every time I think I’m ready to try a level two class, we’re immediately given a routine involving shit I have no idea how to do or physically can’t do yet, like aerial inverts.

Since level 1 doesn’t offer any invert instruction (strictly right-side-up, which is totally understandable since it’s level 1), I have no idea where I’m supposed to learn technique or condition for the stuff the level 2 class is already doing.

After trying over and over and over again to get through these classes (surviving is really the word to describe it), breaking down yet again in the bathroom immediately afterwards, I decided to bite the bullet and ask for guidance from the authority on how the studio works: the studio.

I went to the front desk and said, “Hey, is there a time when like… level two starts from the beginning? Am I going at the wrong part of a lesson cycle or something? Pls hlp.”

Here’s the great thing: THEY GIRLS AT THE DESK WERE SO NICE. I wasn’t expecting that because a lot of people at this particular studio are not very approachable. Again, if you’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about.

But here’s the ridiculous part: they agreed with everything I said and had no advice for me, other than a list of teachers to actively avoid because “they don’t really teach.” They also said that a lot of level 3 and level 4 people take level 2 classes for shits and giggles, so they don’t really need the instruction, and that’s why the teacher tends to skip it.

😐

Again, cannot stress how nice and helpful and cool these chicks were. But like, for the studio… that’s really not okay.

Especially considering the insane amount of money these classes cost, and their reputation for teaching proper technique.

I should also add that many of the teachers I’ve taken class with get a look like somebody farted when you ask a question about something. Again, not all–in fact, my level one teachers have mostly been fabulous. But if you’re not going to teach me, and I have to embarrass myself by asking for the extra help, do you really need to ALSO look put out by helping me? Really?

I have a class card to use up, but once that’s finished I think I’m basically done there.

Meanwhile, as a teacher, here’s an open question for the people working at this studio:

Why are you teaching if you don’t seem to like… teaching?

It’s obvious that some people at this studio are teachers because they are excellent dancers, not because they enjoy helping people learn. Sorry, but it’s true. I picked this up from super subtle context clues such as not making eye contact with anyone in class, ignoring struggling students, and copping an attitude when asked questions (even when the questions are in response to you asking “Any questions?”).

(As a teacher I want to add this note: BITCH PLEASE, this is YOUR CLASS. Your students are desperate to please you and do well. Why don’t you want to help them???? I just don’t understand this attitude from instructors at all. But then, I’m not an award-winning dancer, so.)

Am I alone in feeling like this?

Am I being a crybaby and a beyotch?

RABBLE RABBLE.

At this point I will definitely skip the pole idol worship and instead take lessons from someone who doesn’t dance particularly well, but understands the mechanics of a move, and is happy to explain them–even if it means over and over, in different ways until something clicks.

Because that’s what teaching is.

Quick example of someone who I think is killing it on the teaching front, albeit via tutorial videos: Dr. Ken Kao.

Do I have the conditioning yet for a one-arm hang on a spin pole? Probably not. But do feel like I totally understand the technique/physics of how it works for when I’m ready? Fuck yes.

Gold star, dude.

Sh*t Pole Studios Say: In Solidarity With Nina Reed

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

I just saw that Nina posted something very brave about the conditions at her studio.

I read it, and I felt kind of ashamed, because the same damn thing was going on at three studios I’ve worked at, and I didn’t have the guts to say anything about it. I realize now that it’s not quite as selfish as I thought to push back in this situations, because when you keep quiet, everyone else that works there suffers too.

Did I tell you guys I got fired from my last teaching job?

I did. And it had nothing to do with my teaching. In fact, I was mostly teaching parties, and each and every one ended with requests for dates and times of my normal classes so they could come back and learn more.

I was having a blast, my students and parties were coming back for more–but strangely, no matter how many photos the girls wanted with me, or requests for my name and teaching schedule I got, or hugs and earnest “thank-yous,” I didn’t receive any tips.

Now, I never expect tips. But, at the other studios I’d worked at, they were actually a part of the cost of a party. Just included in the total package cost. So I was worried I was doing something wrong.

Then I got a look at the party contract. (The owner’s assistant showed it to me to give me information about the party and I kept on readin’).

The Studio That Stole My Tips

Guys, the studio owner was charging a mandatory “instructor tip” on parties the whole time. Funny thing was, though I was busting my ass teaching three or four parties in a row (the balls of my feet would blister) I never saw a dime of my “tips.” There were also explicit instructions not to give the instructor a cash tip, since this was included in the base rate of the package.

So to recap: This studio was charging people an instructor tip, and also banning them from tipping me in cash. Like, just to make sure that I didn’t benefit from my hard work at all, in any way.

I confronted the owner and gave him two conditions on my continued employment: 1. instructor tips should either not be mandatory, or must now be paid in cash and presented directly to me (which is the way it worked at my previous two studios), and 2. I would be paid a 10% tip on the parties I had already worked (even though I’m pretty sure the number he collected on my behalf was closer to 20%).

The owner responded by holding my paycheck hostage and accusing me of “extortion” (lol). He also fired me. It took weeks and threats to file a complaint with the labor department before he finally paid half of what he owed me.

I found out later that he told his assistant–who worked as a bartender/hostess at parties and is an exchange student from China—that it’s against the law in the United States for her to collect tips if he pays her minimum wage. He told her it was her choice to either not be paid and collect tips instead, or make minimum wage (is that $8 an hour now? I lose track), and surrender her cash tips to him.

She chose option B.

I also found out that all my students were being charged a $7 “instructor gratuity” simply for taking my regular classes.

Obviously, this didn’t go to the instructor, but to this day I feel a little sick thinking that my students thought I was ripping them off with surprise fees that 1. weren’t my idea, and 2. were collected in my name though I never received them.

I don’t believe in dragging small business names through the mud (even when they deserve it), but since I feel like clients are getting lied to here as much as teachers, I will happily share the name of the studio with anyone who emails me privately for their own protection. I can also recommend some lovely and honest studios too!

The Studio That Stole the Classes They Paid Me In

Another studio I worked at on a “work study” basis for free classes had me work way more hours than I could possibly redeem for classes (the studio was only open nights, and I had a second job the nights that I wasn’t work-studying). Then, as soon as my work-study time was up, the hours of classes I’d busted my ass for were unceremoniously deleted from our system.

Also, that job was billed as “greeting students at the reception desk and coordinating classes” but turned out to be a straight-up sales job. I was constantly pressured to cold call people who had had parties with us and try to sell them packages, and had to stand on the street for hours aggressively passing out fliers (if I came back with any the owner would yell at me. I resorted to throwing them out if I couldn’t pass out enough).

On the rare occasion that I could take a class, the owner (who taught many of the classes) would book me on top of full classes, so that I was often sharing a pole with her. I didn’t receive any corrections either, not being a “real” student. It was embarrassing and awkward, and not at all worth the hours I put in there.

The Studio That Policed My Blog and Banned Me From Working In the Tri-state Area for a Year After They Laid Me Off

They told me I had to bring in clients and that I should start a blog (which I did, heyo!) but then would confront me with printouts of posts they didn’t like–often nitpicking over a single word. I had to sign a non-compete contract that barred me from teaching pole anywhere for A YEAR after I left the studio (which I fearfully complied with, even after my reason for leaving ended up being them randomly cancelling all my classes without any explanation!) Oh, and re: my classes randomly being cancelled, I found out that they told my students I “went back to school.” I guess they wanted to switch over to a parties only business model, but it would have been nice to hear that from them, not from a former student I ran into at Body and Pole who excitedly asked me what I was getting my Master’s degree in 😐

To this day I’m scared to post any tutorials for simple, basic moves because I’m afraid I’ll get a call from them–since, like Nina’s studio, I was forbidden to ever teach anything I was trained in.

Because the fireman spin is an extremely exclusive move that they probably invented.

Oh and I paid for that “training” out of pocket anyway.

This was very long winded, but I guess I’m just trying to say, Nina, you are not alone. You have my support. This bullshit is bigger than your studio or my studio–it’s a community-wide problem. So bravo on speaking up.

Anybody else got horror stories? I can’t be the only one…

16 times that dancing is the literal worst.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

1. When you get a note you don’t understand (what does “quiet collarbones” mean I should do?)

2. When you go over the hard part of a dance over and over and then mess up the easy part in a performance.

3. When your teacher says, “one more time!” for the 900th time and you’re starting not to believe her.

4. When your feet are dirty and you have to put your nice flats on.

5. When “warm ups” are code for “flexibility contest” (it’s a silent contest, but a contest nonetheless).

6. When a sequence is so fast that if you think, you just missed it.

7. When you get multiple notes at the same time and you can’t seem to do one without messing up the other (your shoulders lift when you try to straighten your knees, your feet flex when you try to keep your face soft, AHHHH MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING).

8. When a movement just doesn’t look the same on your body as it does on your teacher’s.

9. When you randomly can’t do the thing you totally did yesterday.

10. When your body just flat out won’t do something and you have little hope that it ever will. (Re: dinosaur arms.).

11. When the floor is too sticky, the pole is too cold, and nothing is working.

12. When you learn a dance in class and try to practice it home but blank out on 3/4s of it.

13. When you’re waiting in line to do something in front of the class that you’re definitely going to suck at.

14. When the teacher calls out a correction for “some people” and you look down and you’re the one who lost your turn out.

15 .When you remember to pack everything except your sports bra.

16. When you only nail it if no one’s looking and you forgot to hit “record.”

Now your turn!

The Great Invert Debate: Can You Kick?

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Full disclosure: I have always been anti-kick in my inverts.

Even before I could chopper, I remember looking at girls pushing off the floor to invert with a kind of disdain. CHEATERS, I thought.

I just feel like this is what tends to happen…

But like many beliefs we hold dear in life, my feelings to this effect have less to do with personal experience and more to do with “well, that’s what I was taught when I first started!”

Reasons Why Kicking Is Bad (I always thought)

1. It’s CHEATING, you cheating cheaters!

2. You’re developing a false sense of your own strength

3. …which you’ll become devastatingly aware of when you try an aerial invert.

4. You’re reinforcing bad habits.

But then I watched Leigh Ann’s video offering tips for the most recent flow challenge (involving inverts, natch), and her nonchalance about kicking… well… it kind of won me over.

1. Better to get comfortable inverting as quickly as possible (and lord knows a deadlift chopper can take frickin’ forever)

2. Inverting, even through kicking, helps build muscles that will enable you to invert better! IE. kicking inverts are better prep for deadlift ones than, well, not inverting at all.

3. She didn’t explicitly say this, but, generally her opinion seemed to be that there’s no reason to set up such a tough barrier to inverting for yourself as it just leads to frustration and cuts off your access to a variety of tricks/poses you could be battling your way through.

Now, as a form stickler… I’m conflicted here. I definitely feel part of the “If you can’t do it right, don’t do it” camp, especially when inverting and, it follows, safety is involved.

But I also wonder how much time I lost working on difficult tricks because I just couldn’t deadlift-chopper yet (and lord knows I tried all the time, and did ALL the reverse crunches).

What do you guys think? Do you HAVE your deadlift chopper or do you kick into inverts?

Here’s that Week 5 Combo, in case you’re interested. Pretty slick!

XOXOXO

I hate teddies because I don’t like showing my stomach: keeping it real.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

I have stomach issues.

That means two things, both related to each other:

1. I have issues showing my stomach because I never know what the eff it’s going to look like, and I can’t seem to find any correlation between diet and exercise and whether or not it’s going to be flat our puffed out post-natal style. (sorry).

and 2. I have literal, physical stomach issues. I have been in denial of this for a long time, because the aforementioned diet, exercise, and a very low dose of prescription meds mostly keeps it under control. During other stressful times (NOW, like, totally right now), things go a little haywire and all kinds of pain and general puffiness ensue.

I’ve been doing all the things I normally do to get things under control: up the dosage on my meds. Drink tons of water and exercise even though I’m feeling some ouches. Eat lots of basic, varied foods. But, ya know, I’m still dealing. It’s a flare up. And despite a better-than-ever diet and 5-days a week gym routine, it’s giving me a Homer Simpson gut.

…Just in a time for a belly dance show on Sunday! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Anyway, I’m still trying to live my normal life like this isn’t happening to me, and I was in a pole class when we decided to do a Teddy.

First of all, I fucking hate Teddies. Because:

1. I think they’re ugly. I mean… you’re basically holding your thighs open like, LOOK AT MY CROTCH. LOOK AT IT. I mean…. 

2. I can’t do them. I get up there and the underside of my arms is like NOPE, and then I slide down with a loud, long screech.

3. They fucking hurt to fail at (I can’t say “they hurt to do” because I have never successfully done one. Fuck.)

Oh yeah, and last but not least, I hate Teddies because never fail, when we’re trying to do them, the instructor says “you really need to expose a little stomach to grip the pole.”

And then I pretend that I didn’t hear so I don’t have to lift my shirt, but everybody else does. And then when I inevitably fail at my next Teddy attempt, the instructor will say again, “It will REALLY help you to lift your shirt a little and get some skin.” She’ll avoid eye contact with me so as to pretend that she’s not directing her comment at me, the only person in the room with my torso fully covered, and I’ll pretend once again not to hear her. The dance continues.Image

Yes, I really hate showing my stomach that much.

Yes, I’m aware that I belly dance and that’s pretty ironic. (I almost always keep my stomach covered in belly classes too).

Anyway, I’m already anticipating horrible, bloated pictures from my show, so here’s a preemptive strike: a picture of how good my abs looked this past Saturday.

I have so few days where my hard work actually shows, so while I was Face Timing a friend while chopping vegetables and went to wipe my hands on my shirt, I saw my stomach and went WHOA, GOOD STOMACH DAY FOR ONCE and snapped a shot.

I know it sounds vain, but when I’m in classes this week in a normally-loose top that’s stuck to my pot belly like cling wrap, I need that picture.

It’s an emotional thing.

Do you guys have a body part that continually embarrasses you? Am I missing something about the Teddy? How in the hell does your armpit support your whole body??? Pls explain.

Why does everything look crappier on stage than it does in the studio?!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

ImageIs it a matter of context? Lighting? The costumes? The camera taking the photos?

I’ve been working out 5 days a week for a few months now, and the night of this show, I remember feeling really good, totally comfortable in my costume, but a little worried that my makeup was too heavy. During the actual dance I felt connected to the music, fierce and emotive in my facial expressions, and 100% in the moment. Muscle memory is a wonderful thing.

And then I was tagged in photos from the show and I just see BLECHHHHHHH. Why am I barefaced?! Dead in the eyes? And don’t even get me started on body stuff. I’m actually self-conscious now that my arms are too… big. Not even flabby or anything, just, large. Over-sized. Not delicate. 

Am I fucked in the head? Because it’s super annoying to spend so much time busting your ass learning choreo, training to stay in shape, and primping for a show only to dread photo-evidence of it forever afterward.

Should I get ribs removed and arm liposuction? Should I just stop performing? 

Yeah yeah, I already know the answer: I just need get over it and roll on. But please someone, commiserate with me. What is it about performing that makes everything seem hopelessly not good enough?Image

Body paranoia aside, I’m pretty damn excited that we got to do a $40-a-ticket show in New York City on a REAL STAGE with REAL LIGHTING. I’ll try to be less of a brat here, because wow, what an opportunity. And I’m so proud of our group!! We really did rally and do a great show, despite last minute choreo and blocking changes. #pros 😉

In terms of pole, though, I can’t imagine doing this someday alone, in a smaller costume, and with literally much higher stakes (if you screw up you FALL, ahhhh). Even without the body stuff (EEK, really, in a bikini?!!) the pole adds so many new variables to things that can go wrong. The hand sweat alone… I can’t even. 

Ladies who have done shows, are you prone to photo-induced mini breakdowns? How did you get over it? Do you ever have those feelings right before a show that your choreo is boring and no one should watch it? (I have this thought before EVERY show. Not helpful, brain).

<3<3<3

Are you a basic (pole) bitch? 4 irrefutable signs

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater
Image
The answer to many questions in life.

I’ve been thinking about the topic of basic-ness in recent days, and the answer (for me) lies in this brilliant T-shirt.

It all started with this poignant video.

And then read I this article defending Basic Bitches. (My opinion: Britney has always secretly been R.A.F.)

Now, for the sake of the community, I have decided to put together a list of Basic Pole Bitch Criteria. It is by no means exhaustive though, so if you have any addendum, please drop it in comments!

Also, if you are unfamiliar with basicness, it as defined (by Urban Dictionary, natch) as the following:

Basic Bitch
1) one who has no personality; dull and irrelevant
2) just an extra regular female
Further extrapolation, I asked my friend Julie who’s really good with this stuff, to give me some examples of things that are basic. Here’s what she said:
-Tweeting that you are at Starbucks
-Owning a Coach purse
-Wearing yoga pants that say “Sexy” on the butt
It took me a while, but I think I am finally grasped my own interpretation of the essence of basic-ness: doing things the way you think other people in your target demographic would do them, in a misguided attempt at having an identity (but you fail because you are a cliche).
I consulted Julie about my use of a free Victoria’s Secret umbrella on a recent rainy day, distraught that it might have been a basic move. That’s when she informed me that the flip-side of basic is doing something that could be PERCEIVED as basic, but is actually a well thought-out means to an end. Using free swag, she informed me, may appear basic (and it would be, had I purchased the umbrella), but since it was raining and the umbrella was free and readily available, its use was instead a “Ratchet Tactic”–the opposite of a basic action, due to its self awareness.
Okay okay, it’s getting hard to keep writing this with a straight face, so let’s move on to the “basic bitch moves” of pole dancing.
Ignore them at your peril! (Or flaunt them, because it’s not that serious and you should do what you want in life):

1. Your favorite polers are Jenyne Butterfly, Felix Cane, and Alethea Austin

Okay so these women are all obviously incredible, but being “basic” is not about having bad taste–it’s about being generic and predictable. Like saying your favorite band is the Beatles, name dropping a poler that non-polers could possibly have heard of is super basic basic. I KNOW I’M SORRY, I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

2. You’ve danced to Portishead

Wait, wait, don’t tell me–you just want to be a woman.

Girl please, you are a bitch, of the basic persuasion, CASE CLOSED. (Also I am guilty of this).

3. You don’t really dance so much as wrench yourself into poses for the picture

If your sole purpose for poling is the Instagram shot… you know what it is. BASIC. Note: I would be basic as fuck in the this category if I could do anything worth Instagramming.

4. Your booty shorts came from Forever 21

Actually, no, no, my best girl Julie just informed me that using something cheap and totally passable is not “basic” but in fact classified as the aforementioned “Ratchet Tactic,” which is A-OK. Cheap booty shorts fo-eva!

So what’s your status? Basic Pole Bitch? Bad Pole Bitch? Ratchet Tactic Usin’ Beyotch?

XOXOXO