If straddles hurt your outer thighs, READ THIS

Hey guys,

Enjoying summer?

I’ve been taking some time out to do summer stuff and generally chill in my time off, instead of spending it hunched over my computer as during the work day. So pardon my hiatus!

I did want to drop a quick line though because I haven’t stopped training (though I’m mainly doing flex, ballet barre, and poleography–no hardcore pole right now because my favorite teacher hasn’t been in in a while and I’m STILL having bad experiences with other peeps. *SIGH* Just want to get through a Level 2 without wanted to cry y’all).  Anyway, I love my other classes, and as usual when I take class with my utterly fabulous, professional, knowledgeable, infinitely patient, etc etc teachers I I LEARN SO MUCH.

Our flex teacher (WHO I LOVE, OMG YOU GUYS, SHE’S THE LITERAL BEST) asks for requests sometimes, and I recently issued a weird one: butt stretching.

Here’s the background: I have a horrific time with frog/straddle stretches. I’m used to some intense stretching, but while other people say they feel these stretching in their inner thighs, they make me feel like my outer thighs as well as hips are being broken. Like, wishbone-being-pulled-apart style.

This cannot be normal, I thought, so I googled “are straddle splits impossible for some people.” Because it feels that bad to me, and I have seen NO progress, despite making visible gains in all my other flexibility–including shoulders, aka fixing my dinosaur arms. (whaaaaat? I know! Miracles happen.)

This is a T-band stretch.
This is a T-band stretch.

What I discovered from a gazillion message boards is, sometimes the issue with painful straddles is not necessarily the muscles that straddles stretch (inner thighs) but the opposing ones: hips, outer thighs, and glutes. By targeting these muscles with stretches like figure four or T-band stretches (I don’t know the name for them but they usually involved turning your leg out and pulling it across your body), you have a better shot at getting to the muscles you actually want to stretch: yo inner thighs!

Class was mostly the typical order of operations, with straddles at the end. I don’t notice anything different, except that our figure fours and T band stretches (I admitted to the teacher when I asked for “butt stretches” that I actually didn’t know any besides these, the ones we were already doing) came right before we went into straddles.

This is also a T-band stretch.
This is also a T-band stretch.

Then a miracle happened. My straddles/froggies hurt like a bitch (lol what else is new), but for the first time ever I felt the pain in my inner thighs!!! Then we did some rolling of the hips and weight shifts and sure enough, I was able to go a little deeper. ie. I MADE PROGRESS.

I asked the teacher after class what did we had done differently (because that was MAGIC), and she said nothing–we had just changed the order. We weren’t doing any additional or different stretches, we were just doing those outer hips and glutes ones right before center splits. The teacher said she felt a difference too, and that she going to do her class like that from now on, which made me feel like less of a wackadoo for asking for “stretches for your butt” while others were requesting classy things like “heart openers.” #elegance

Figure Fo'
King of the Butt Stretches: Figure Fo’

So what’s going on with y’all? I definitely didn’t bother with the flow challenge like I thought I would because my air conditioner has just not been keeping up with this heat. When I get home I just sit on my couch and pant like Jabba the Hut, it’s pretty attractive.

I have been learning some cute combos in class though–I’ll post some poleography clips in another blog. But for now, look at this HAWT routine I saw at “Shtick a Pole in It.”

Shtick a Pole in It is a combo pole/comedy show. No, the dancers don’t tell jokes and the comedians don’t pole haha–they alternate! The comedians were surprisingly hilarious and the dancers were top freaking notch. Like, SICK.

I had two favorites performances but in one of them the dancer (terrifyingly) fell so I don’t think they’ll post it. She was fine and actually resumed the routine after a quick break to wipe the pole down, but it was really too bad because she was obviously a pro and her performance was out of this world until her fall. To her credit she was doing an insane trick combo at the time, so I guess it just goes to show that a slippery pole can strike anyone at any time.

Anyway, here’s my other favorite. My friend said she’s a NY Poler and her name is Anna. You can’t see it in the video, but she had a really lovely ease to her dancing and cute facial expressions which took an already sick routine to the next level. I’m fangirling here but I don’t even care because it was perfection.

Check her out!

And if you’re New York in September, catch the next show! I think they said it would be the last Sunday of the month, but that have yet to post. Check the Facebook group, I’m sure it will be up soon!

…What have I been DOING?!! Plus: 5 Heartbreak-Friendly Pole Songs!

I legit feel like I just woke up from a coma.

So, for the past couple of months, I was sorta kinda a little bit falling on my ass for this guy I work with.

With a girlfriend.

I KNOW.

I’m not really the cheating type so it was mostly just talking, a lot, but that didn’t really stop me from being a big dumb idiot with 3 kinds of obsessive thoughts, on a loop:

1. “OMG HE’S SO GREAT.”

2. “OMG THIS IS SO BAD.”

3. “OMG LET ME LISTEN TO MY IPOD AND DAYDREAM ALTERNATELY ABOUT HOW GREAT HE IS AND HOW BAD I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF FOR DOING THIS.”

(BONUS: “omg I should totally send him this song I’m listening to so he can know my feeeeeeeeeeeelings.”)

Did you throw up yet?

I did, a little.

Anyway, it’s all over now. I wanted to do things legit or not at all, and he was all, “LETS MAKE A DEAL”… the deal being, in his words, “I can give you 100% of me, part of the time.” (….<—-DAFUQ?!! Why would I ever sign up for that? I don’t do drugs, sir.)

So after about 48 hours of crying, I woke up this morning, totally fine, and looked around. And I thought… wait, what have I been doing with my time?

I haven’t written anything in months (and this is supposed to be my life calling).

I haven’t touched my pole.

I haven’t blogged. (But you already know this).

I haven’t even grocery shopped, judging by the carton of expired eggs in my fridge and NOTHING ELSE in there.

What I have been doing: TEXTING TEXTING TEXTING MOPING TEXTING TEXTING PLANNING MY WORK OUTFITS.

Jesus. Anyway, I’m suddenly horrified at how much time I’ve lost, so it’s time to get back on the dang wagon called OH WAIT I HAVE A LIFE, DURR.

(Sorry for all the capital letters, this is an emotional time, guys).

So, GOALS:

1. Several hours a week on the pole.

BRB, doing me.
BRB, doing me.

2. Spare time spent NOT at home looking at my phone (so, either gym or studio).

3. Something fun and interesting to cross train with (I’m thinking hoop maybe… or yoga, to get my inflexible ass slightly more flexible again).

Mainly, I just want to remember that there was a time I was doing all my awesome life stuff for ME… not to impress some douchebag who already has a girlfriend.

I want to kill it on the pole, I want fresh photos, I want to work out some choreo I can pull out when I feel like showing off, I want videos on youtube… I want to feel proud of myself again.

FTS. Back to me.

Anyway, I’m not going to lie, I’m totally still moping, so here are some awesome “FUCK DATING” songs to pole to. I know I certainly will.

1. Doin Me, Fantasia

This song is a nice mix of ass-kicking and positive. Also, “No more crying, going through hell–it’s so good, I’m loving myself”… this song makes me feel so much better.

2. Me, Myself and I, Beyonce

Okay so I’ve decided that what I’m doing is just quoting the line in the song that makes me tear up/instantly feel a little better: “Yeah, you hurt me but i learned a lot along the way/After all the rain you’ll see the sun come out again.” I hope so, Beyonce. I hope so.

3. Bad, Wale (Featuring Tiara Thomas)

This song makes feeling bitter seem cool. Also, it’s sufficiently sexy to pole to without being sex-positive enough that you get depressed over your lack of boneage. (Listen, this is the best the descriptions are getting today, go with it).

4. I Should Have Cheated, Keyshia Cole

KC, girl, you kill me. Please keep writing songs and singing them in a manner that makes me weep and feel stronger at the same time.

5. Switch, TLC

A reminder that if all else fails, you can always “switch and take his friend.”

Another pearl of wisdom: “I can’t trust a relationship with no trust and that’s a fact.”

Don’t take no mess from nobody, ladies. TLC says so.

Happy twirls! (and relationships, and work lives, and everything else it’s important to keep up too)

~Cathy

Pole Jams ’12: Your Ultimate Playlist

Awkward still of Chris Brown showing his abs in the “Strip” video. Why? BECAUSE I CAN.

Hey Y’all!

Sorry I haven’t written in so long… shit has been CRAY CRAY.

Luckily, it’s all in good ways–classes have been intense, and we just had a packed open house. I taught a few intro pole classes, but the best part was sitting in on the “exotic stuff” that I usually don’t get to see… lap dancing,  the “wiggle it jiggle it” booty class (booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere!), and an amazing chair dance demo.

Of course, half the fun for me in watching the other instructors was sneaking a listen at their playlists. The music is a huge part of why I love dancing. And getting to pick my playlists for class? YES PLEASE. So sorry students, but we DO have to listen to “Creep” by TLC at least every other week. THAT’S HOW I ROLL.

Anyway, after shamelessly incorporating a few new jams from the routines I saw last week, it got me thinking…. let me share my weird-ass favorite pole songs!

I know when I was just starting out I was desperate for good tracks to dance to. So here ya go–10 sweet-ass tracks to get you started, and, with one or two exceptions, I can guarantee that you’re not sick to death of them!! Cause they’re super-weird, guys!

1. Tonight (Best You Ever Had), John Legend

I bold faced stole this from the lap dance demo I saw. Sexy but not raunchy, it’s a great performance song… even if your audience is just a bewildered guy in a chair.

2. Careless Whisper, Seether

Sometimes I get tired of hip hop (very, VERY rarely) and this little bit of grit is such a palate cleanser. Great for floor work, and lots of bump and grind level changes.

3. Look After You, The Fray

This is such a sweet slow jam… great for a more emotional dance, or where you’re going for a more artistic, less sexy routine.

4. Strip, Chris Brown ft. Kevin McCall

Great performance piece–upbeat, sexy, and under three minutes! Nuff said.

5. Quickie, Miguel

Ugh, so. frickin’. sexy. Great spin song, especially extended ones, with a little pirouette work. It’s got the perfect lilt for a little bit of playing around between moves.

6. Keep It In the Closet, Michael Jackson (For extra fun, this vid is an amazing pole dance by Miss Pole Dance Ukraine, 2011!)

High energy and “different.” Perfect practice track to throw on when you’re exhausted and frustrated with inverts 😛

7. Kick Your Game, TLC

Cute, sexy, but not trying too hard–great “dancing for other dancers” song. Plus a few moments where the music slows down to throw a pose on. Love!

8. Fool That I Am, Etta James

Vintage pole song! This is unbelievable sensual, emotional, and romantic to dance to. Also, a great build up on the last 30 secs to toss a big trick in. Try it on your S.O. 😉

9. I’m Doin’ Me, Fantasia

Empowerment song. When I’m dancing through boy trouble, I play this.

10. Play With Fire, Hilary Duff

You guys, I don’t know why I like this song. It just kinda kicks ass. I like the words. LEAVE ME ALONE. Personal preferences aside, this is great for a trick-loaded routine. It’s very well suited to snappy movements and hair flipping.

Also, “You can’t make up for what you’ve done, but you still try to be the one” is every girl’s life, right? 😛

BONUS: SEXIEST SONG EVER CREATED.

Just kidding ;)but if you can successfully pole dance to that, please send me a video and you’ll be my hero for life.

Actually, just for fun, here’s 5 terrible songs to dance to:

1. Mystery!

2. Bet you wish you knew!

3. Oh man, SUSPENSE!

4. You know this one’s gotta be good…

5. BEST FOR LAST.

Oh PS, my studio’s having an AMAZING promotion right now–45 bucks for $115 worth of classes (ie. a 5 class card). Having been to at least half of the studios in the great NYC area, I can tell you that you’re almost never going to do better than $25 an hour… and this breaks down to $9! GET ON IT, it’s only up for 2 days!

And while you’re at it, don’t forget to request MOI for your first lesson ;)Here’s the schedule, snitches, come get me!!

Happy Twirls!

Cathy