I’m 28 years old and I got my nose pierced.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

My beauty routine now involved wetting a q-tip and polishing the stone after I powder my face.

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It’s cute though, right?

I should note that I only got this because, on a trip to the mall to get my glasses adjusted (an appropriate activity for someone who is almost thirty), my little sister announced that we were making a pit stop to get her nose pierced. And she did (she’s 25… I protested a little, but hey, she’s an adult and it’s her face). The thing is… it looked so cute that I got mine done on the spot.

Spoiler alert: it does not feel like a “little pinch” to get your nose pierced.

It feels like a metal rod is being pushed through your cartilage, and it takes several excruciating seconds.

Nobody told me that it wouldn’t hurt, but, ya know, I figured I’m Pole Strong (TM) so it wouldn’t bother me. Lol yeah it hurt so bad.

Again, cute though, right? I was thinking that I would immediately regret it, but actually, I’m in love. It’s pretty (SPARKLES) but a little edgy, just like me. The edgy part anyway.

Okay okay, so here’s some obligatory Thanksgiving pictures of The Baby,  who now says the word “Cat” which I’ll go ahead and assume is an attempt at Cathy (IN YO FACE, “mama” and “dada”!)

Please note her exasperation with my sister’s posing as she waits for more yogurt to enter her face. This kid. Love her.

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…MOAR YOGURT.

Everybody have a good thanksgiving? Are we all getting appropriately, seasonally fat?

Here’s a song I just found and can’t wait to try on the pole, ps–acoustic version of Running, Jessie Ware. DAMN can this woman sing.

Sometimes I think I only pole dance because it doesn’t require two sports bras.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

ImageI think I’ve blabbed on here before about working out during the day, but, things have changed.

I used to take a class called “Chisel” that was weight training, but like, high intensity, high-rep, agility-based training (was any of that in English or am I wiling out with the hyphens?) We would do squats and lunges combined with other stuff so that our heart rates would stay up, but blessedly, no jumping jacks or bouncing of any kind is involved.

I was ALL ABOUT THIS CLASS until something horrible happened: our instructor peaced out. He was all, “BRB in October,” and we’re all “HAAAAALP, you can’t abandon us during swimsuit season!!”

(Disclaimer: I don’t give a crap about “swimsuit season” and consider a “bikini body” to simply be your body in a two-piece. But, these were the concerns of many of my classmates and I’m trying to reflect that).

So now we have a new instructor. I tried to keep an open mind, but as soon as he said “Set up your equipment in the middle, we’re going to need the perimeter of the room for the warm up,” I made a made dash for the locker room.

Why? To retrieve my second sports bra. And like, MAYBE cry a little. Because I have huge boobs, and it makes me hate the running I knew we were about to do.

And oh god, it wasn’t just running. It was jump squats. Jumping jacks. That football thing where you shuffle really fast but up and down the aerobic step. It. Was. Terrible.

Real talk: I’m a 32DD, and even with my two bras, I came very close to losing an eye.

So when I saw this article I was like DUH, my boobs make literally 80% of all my exercise decisions for me.

That explains why I love bellydance and pole, but not Zumba. Why I was a swimmer in high school and not a runner. Why I have always, always hated trampolines.

Do your boobs call the athletic shots for you? Am I the only one in the world who has to layer sports bras?

XO

 

 

I Can Haz Choreography?

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

OMG, PROJECT.

(Please read that in the voice of Cher, re: makeovers).

SO, I’m working on a routine!

This is hard!

First, let me give you guys that advice I’ve been given, and then YOU give YOURS. Because, I’m stuck. I have this awful habit of re-inventing the wheel every time I dance to a song. No matter what I have written down (yes I’m being all official about it), every time my music starts, I do something different. HELP ME COMMIT.

Here’s what I’ve heard so far about The Process of choreographing (word? not a word?):

1. Choose 3 tricks and build your dance around them

This is sooooooo helpful. If you can think of the three tricks you want to include (your music can advise as to what feels right/fits the mood/theme), you can think about spreading them out well, THEN fill spaces between with transitional moves. GENUIS. I love a general layout for writing, why not dancing?

2. Waste time

It’s hard to remember while dancing (or choreographing) but it takes an audience at least a few seconds of watching a move to even register what you’re doing. So I think especially for the first 10-15 seconds of a song, extremely simple moves are a good way to ease into a dance… and make sure you’ve got everybody’s attention for when you’re ready for a trick. 

3. Make a list

…of everything you know how to do.

For me, I wrote down key words/phrases of the song I’m using (Running, by Jessie Ware) and a few moves that kinda conjured that emotion for me. 

Examples:

“falling” (back hook spin, Juliet spin, recliner)

“running” (hang man spin, half bracket hold with “walk,” pirouettes, headstand “walk outs”)

“I just go weak” (spin in arch, bridge slide, back bend with extended leg)

…and a bunch of other stuff I don’t have names for. (That’s the annoying thing about pole… not knowing what the heck to call the stuff you know how to do).

Anyway, that’s all I got, and I’m stuck, guys! 

Here, listen to my song and tell me shit to do that you think would look good!

Also, please, share your tricks for getting the Choreography Muse to visit. I tried leaving her cookies and milk, but that might just work for Santa.

Happy twirls!

Cathy