15 Pole Dance Songs that Are *Sensual* But Not Overtly Sexual (2024)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

As an instructor, I’m a bit pickier with my music than I am when dancing on my own. While I love *vibes*, it’s hard to ignore demeaning lyrics in songs with great beats that I’d otherwise love to share with students. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m promoting substance abuse or devaluing/objectifying yourself when I play this music, and I don’t want students to associate pole with that kind of negativity.

So through very scientific means (starting a Pandora station for every song I remotely like to dance to), here are a few songs I’ve found that I love to play for student freestyle time. They’re sensual and vibey, but mostly low on sex or drugs references. (The nasty songs will have to be a separate post, ha).

Let me know if you’d dance to this, and share any suggestions or favorite songs below!

1. Like I Want You, Giveon

I love Giveon for groovy, vibey music that captures that has a kind of torch-song longing mood. Bonus points for smooth vocals and an excellent BPM.

2. Rewind, Ravyn Lanae

Slightly more upbeat, this song has whispery sweet, feminine vocals and in interesting beat with lots of details to create accent movements with.

3. I Want You Around, Snoh Aalegra

Clean and bright, this bass-heavy track would pair well with smooth, exotic-style flow.

4. Last Dance, Leisure

I LOVE Leisure for pole. This is one of my favorite songs. They have funk and disco-inspired beats with understated, indie-feeling vocals that allow for lots of variation in speed, tempo, and accent moments. Just, *chef’s kiss,* mellow perfection.

5. Ideal Woman, Celeste

This is a slow, gooey guitar-driven R&B song with lowkey feminist edge to it. Love it for a fierce, take-your-time freestyle that feels more about power and control than enticing anyone.

6. So Young, Portugal the Man

Indie vibes, syncopated beat, groovy vibes.

7. Best Mistake (Slowed Reverb Version), Ariana Grande

I love this song anyway, but slowed down, it’s soulful, sad, moody, and the perfect tempo.

8. Baby Powder, Jenevieve

This has the beat of nasty 90s R&B but with sweet vocals and high standards.

9. Come Gimme Love, King Sis

Upbeat and smooth, this song is flirty but PG.

10. My Love Mind All Mine, Mitski

Okay okay, you’ve heard this a million times on TikTok, but the mellow, melancholy vibe of this song and it’s short length make it perfect for a relaxed, easy-going closing freestyle.

11. Wicked Games (Clean), Kiana Lede

Slow, vibey, and angsty as hell, this song has lots of tempo-change and accent opportunities.

12. My Heart Bleeds, Rhye

Rhye makes really spare sounding music rife with sexual tension. Vibes!

13. Good Thing, Kehlani

Bombshell theme song! This one is upbeat, unapologetic, and would be great to choreograph to. Plus you can’t beat the message..

14. Be More, Stephen Sanchez

If you’re a fan of emotional, retro sounds, you might like Stephen Sanchez. It has the feel of 60s torch songs with a modern, restrained singing style.

15. All Over You, Leisure

I really like Leisure, okay?!

So that’s the list! What did you thing–would you or do you already dance to these? I have a few NSFW songs to share too, so that will have to be a follow up post.

See you in class!

-Cathy

Music Monday: Amy Winehouse in Six Songs

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Holy crap, I just looked up and realized Amy Winehouse has been gone for 5 years.

Damn.amy 3

Amy was The Ideal Woman for me as sensitive 20 year old enrolled in art school (circa 2006). The smoky voice, the tattoos, the black and white videos, the sass and sadness in equal amounts… She had the tough exterior I always wanted, with all the vulnerability I always seemed to be feeling.

Listening to her now, the music and persona feel like the perfect match for pole: gritty but pretty; painful but graceful.

I’m sure I’ve included some of her songs in playlist posts before, but I’m on a listening kick today and wanted to share some of my favorite songs of hers to freestyle to.

Things to note:

  • How rare is it that we hear a female vocalist expressing herself on matters of sex and men without seeming to be performing some bizarre male gaze version of sexuality? I look at Ariana Grande with her huge hair and tiny shorts batting her plastic-ass lashes and talking about being a dangerous woman and I’m like…. k. Amy always seemed to own herself and her point of view in songs. amy
  • Actual instruments (!!!). My god… I appreciate this so much more after years of electronica crap.
  • The warmth and soulfulness in dat voice. Dat VOICE. It sounds like a cup of coffee and a cigarette on a partially sunlit balcony in London at 6am. Which is probably not far off from the manner in which these songs were recorded, now that I think of it.
  • Her lyrics have No Time For Your Bullshit. They can start out vulnerable but they always find strength at some point. Amy can be heartbroken in her songs and at the same time still absolutely not have the time. For. Your. Bullshit.

You have to love it.

Okay now that you’re ready, here are my favorites songs:

1. Unholy War

God this song is fucking dark. Excellent jam for a moody freestyle.

2. Help Yourself

Sass and a relaxed beat. Sunday freestyle’ for the win.

3. Me & Mr. Jones

What kind of fuckery is this? This song is jazzy and dope.

3. Love is a Losing Game

Vulnerable, emotional, ethereal, beautiful. Perfect for lyrical choreo.

4. Round Midnight

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS. Juicy AF. Are you rolling around on your floor yet because you should be.

5. Take the Box

Delicate at first—but it gets tougher and more soulful as the lyrics get angry. Nice emotional range to this one.

6. Wake Up Alone

Devastating. Let’s finish this up with something live:

RIP, Amy.

Got a favorite AW song I’m forgetting? Drop it below.

amy 2

The Weekend, As You Are… (#MusicMondayOnAWednesday but also how I’m feeling)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Hey y’all!

So I was looking at Nina’s FEATURED spot on this blog and had a dumb realization: other people are poling on social media with hashtags and ish, and I’m just completely missing it.

Like… #realpole is a thing. #realpole, where have you been all my life?!!! This hashtag (for other uninformed people like myself) is for people showing the pole struggle… which is 99.9% of pole, if we’re being honest. So like, that wiggling you do to get into a leg hang, flexed feet, fear faces… it’s all there.

It’s my own damn fault for avoiding pole-related social media and missing this, I guess, and that’s mighty ironic because I usually avoid pole social media to escape the FOMO and pressure to be kicking my own head upside down while hanging from my pinkie toe. But lo and behold—there was a movement there for me the whole time!

I fully encourage you all to post and share your sweet, sweet struggle with #realpole because I’ll be looking and resharing. Also, what other hashtags am I missing? And while you’re at it, please let me follow you on IG/Twitter because I want non-pole celebrity pole peeps to interact with. Share your handle in the comments!

Anyway here’s my song (and mood) for this non-Monday music Monday post!

Skeleton Key, Kenzie May; new life developments, etc.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Hey guys!

Just wanted to apologize for going a bit dark lately. I’m a little short on time, but I guess I’d rather be dancing than writing about dancing! (While not actually dancing, haha).

I’ve just started my master’s degree (J school at Syracuse Newhouse, HOLLA), resumed rehearsals with the Fire Blossoms (Maki’s back from Japan, yay!), have been writing several pieces a month that embarrass my parents for Bustle, and am of course still working full time! I’ve also been trying to into the pole studio at least for my flexibility classes if nothing else, but honestly, I have not been on a pole for a while. I can’t even complain though because my lucky ass has a gym attached to my office with great classes around lunch time so I’ve been able to keep my conditioning up regardless of what I have going on after office hours. I guess I just need to worry about losing a few callouses and some grace when it comes to pole, haha.

I love being busy and I feel like I get a lot more done when I have a lot more to do–that’s a thing, right? But check back in with me in a month and I might be on the verge of a breakdown, we’ll have to see, haha.

Oh and also I have a boyfriend and I’ve tricked him into taking a flexibility class with me this week, muhahahahahahahahaha. #lifechanges.

What’s new with y’all?