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Posted on August 11, 2013July 28, 2016 by Cathy Vandewater

On hiatus to baptize my niece (Godmother, holla!) in my hometown, and hang out with this bad influence, aka my sister.

And here’s the little bug after gettin’ dunked:

On an unrelated note, the club we were at last night had poles on stage, and I was really tempted to just run up, do a trick, and run back down. But I was in a dress, and I was more concerned about showing my underpants than anything else, so, I didn’t. They had a pretty sick aerialist though, and when I get back to town and find my camera USB cord I’m posting the vid!!

So, question… have you guys ever hit the pole at a club? I’ve been to a few places in the city now that are equipped and I get the itch every time… but I also feel like that’s a tad skankalicious. Yay or nay?

<3<3<3

Cathy

First mean comment! AM I INTERNET FAMOUS NOW???

Posted on August 8, 2013July 28, 2016 by Cathy Vandewater

So here’s how you know you’ve made it: somebody goes to the trouble of creating a temporary email account just so they can say something generically mean on your tiny pole blog. (You’re a slut who is dumb! and ugly! You are an ugly, dumb slut! (paraphrasing, but you get the idea)).

I mean, honestly, I’m flattered. I’ve been hungry for like, an hour, and I’m not eating yet because I can’t be bothered to stand up and retrieve the apple I know I have in the fridge.

And this person created a WHOLE EMAIL ACCOUNT.

FOR ME.

But, gentle troller, here’s what I take issue with:

(in list form, of course):

1. You called me a “jump off” and I had to look it up for the privilege of being insulted.

No lie, I had to use urban dictionary because I didn’t know what a jump off was. All for the reward of having my feelings mildly hurt. What’s so wrong with the word “whore,” amirite?

2. You said I should apologize for my face. That’s fair, but then I had to go and find a picture of my face to post and it was time consuming and reminded me of an unsavory date.

Campbell's soup, holla! — Campbell’s soup, holla!

Just to respond to this statement in a smart ass fashion, I had to dig through my camera for an actual close up photo of my face, of which I have very, very few. I found this one, which I took before a blind date a couple of weeks ago because I liked my eye makeup (ironically, it didn’t really show up in the two photos).

Bonus bitch-face photo because it seems topically appropriate.

Anyway, I’m annoyed because now I’m looking at this photo, and I’m remembering how awkward that date was, because I got there and the guy was soooo obviously gay, but didn’t seem to know it, and I just kept ordering drinks and asking questions about his job because POLITENESS.

Wait what were we talking about? Oh yeah, sorry for my face!

3. You called me dumb and that offends me on behalf of pole dancers

Le sigh.

Listen, I’m really not insecure about being smart or dumb, or whatever.

I was a bookworm in school. I took calculus and read heavy books and learned to fly a plane and got scholarships, etc, not that any of that matters. To be frank, this whole sexy girl-on-a-pole identity is pretty new to me, so it’s almost flattering to be called something akin to a slut. I have literally never been called that. It’s… interesting.

But I think it’s super lame for girls put other girls in one of same two, age-old categories: smart and unattractive, or sexy and dumb.

I mean, I guess you put me in the sexy category because of the jump-off thing, (thanks!), but poo on you for doing the same, boring ol’ stereotype thing I know you wouldn’t want done to you: one-dimensionalizing multi-dimensional people because they have vaginas. And possibly because you’re threatened by their sexy(ish?) pole dancing hobbies.

That sucks, please don’t do that.

If it freaks you out that sometimes girls do sexy things like pole dance and ALSO make complete sentences, welp, that sucks. Because it’s very reflective of a society that makes us choose every day: smart or sexy. Dumb or ugly. Winning or losing. It makes us scared and cagey about what each of us has got to offer. I get that.

But I still think it doesn’t have to be that way.

Anyway, to EVERYBODY: thank you for reading, thank you for commenting (nice or mean, feedback is always so exciting and appreciated), and thank you, troller, for helping me toughen up a little. I hope that if you’re going through something that’s bumming you out, or you had an experience that made you dislike pole girls, it works out. We’re not so bad, I promise.

Love and happy twirls,

Cathy

Keeping Up With the Joneses: On Social Media

Posted on August 4, 2013July 28, 2016 by Cathy Vandewater

So this month’s blog hop is social media.

Which I have feelings about.

***Social Media*** scares me a little, in that there’s always pressure to be sharing everything, and then intense scrutiny when you do. (Or at least the sensation of it, admits this perfectionist).

Sometimes, I look at this silly little blog, and I think, look at all that white space. Look at all those words. PICTURES, VIDEO, THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO BE INTERESTING. I must prove to everyone that you actually DO do this several times a week and don’t just sit around critiquing everyone else’s hard work!

And then I do take a video, or a picture, and it’s just not. good. enough.

If my technique is good, the face is bad. If the form is good, the moves are boring. If I do something interesting and spontaneous, whoops, I look fat. All these conditions lead to the same conclusion: You don’t look like a pole dancer. DO NOT POST.

Which leads me to wonder: what does a pole dancer look like? Close your eyes and picture her. I bet we’re all seeing the same thing.

As Pole Dance Competition was writing, for the vast array of pole-related materials being posted out there, there’s not a whole lot of diversity.

In what, you may ask? In anything. Body type. Style. Music choice, even.

Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that in a sport dominated by women, we’re all terrified to step out of what we assume the parameters of that sport to be.

We need to look, dance, move, even dress a certain way. Sexy, but not slutty. Sporty, but not graceless. Strong, but not masculine. Thin, but you better be able to fill out that sports bra.

Maybe I’m thinking specifically of Tumblr here, but a lot of what we’re comparing ourselves to when we look at pole-related social media is the streamlined, aspirational stuff. And, yeah, aspirations are great. But not when they start feeling like they’re backing you into a corner. A corner where you’re scared to share anything that doesn’t conform to what’s already being shared. Which sort of defeats the purpose of putting new stuff out there, no?

So to that, I say, Balls.

BALLS.

Because beyond “balls,” I don’t really have an answer. I feel the pressure too. I love pole. But I can’t deny that the intense drive behind mastering it is rooted in not quite feeling good enough at it.

Maybe that’s okay.

And maybe it’s also okay to post a few pictures on the WAY to “good enough.” It might dial down the pressure on all of us.

LOVE and happy twirls,

Cathy

This is embarrassing.

Posted on August 1, 2013August 7, 2013 by Cathy Vandewater

So, here’s that marketing project I was telling you about: a “promo” vid, which I decided should be a tutorial for the Jenyne Climb instead of anything promotional, because ewww, promos.

Enjoy!

Oh and BONUS: practice vid of me warming up/dicking around for a bit before my friend could come back and shoot the tutorial. Butterfly action!

Pole and your FEET.

Posted on July 25, 2013July 28, 2016 by Cathy Vandewater

My foot is NOT IMPRESSED with my pole dancing accessories.

I know right?

Not something you think would really be the focus of pole–what it’s like for your feet.

But all the toe pointing and heel-wearing and foot dragging can really do a number on your tootsies.

I mean, let me just flat out make a list:

1. It destroys my toe-polish, but JUST on my big toe.

Like, what? Actually I know exactly why this happens, I drag my toe when I walk (pole walk, that is). Whatever, it looks hot. Sacrifices!

2. It makes my big toe/arch spasm

All the toe pointing in pole makes my arches/big toes freak out and cramp… which is not a good look when you’re in a graceful pose, your foot just twitching and flexing into a claw formation… ugh. And it’s PAINFUL.

3. I have gotten huge bubbly blisters on the balls of my feet

Actually, this was just one time, when I was working REALLY hard on my pirouettes, and my pole was in a room with carpet. That said, the balls of my feet still get warm/sensitive/burny when I’m doing a lot of flow work, which is annoying.

Ahh, that’s better. PS. the winter-time alternative to Yoga Toes are THESE SOCKS OF SEXINESS. Whatever, they feel so good you guys…

4. General ugliness

Dusty floors, mang. They dry your feet into these hobbity husk things. It’s like your feet are wearing leather jackets, but, like, made from your own dried foot skin. Ew. Also, your feet get DIRTY.

5. Top of the foot bruises

Ugly, and not a great combo with slip on shoes.

Does that about cover it? Okay, so here’s what I do for each of the above foot issues (and if you have solutions, be a good person and share your tricks in the comments!!!):

1. Wear clear/light-colored polish

So that one worn down spot at the top of each big toe nail is less obvious.

2. Wear Yoga Toes all. the. time.

(And check out Kim’s awesome post on cramping…)

I even sleep in them, which I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to do. But most helpful of all, I point and flex my toes while wearing them, and that seems to retrain/strengthen my foot muscles to like, point the way they should, without getting confused and cramping. (I’M NOT A DOCTOR OKAY). Oh PS, you don’t need the real ones, knock offs are good too!

3. Stop pirouetting so damn much.

I mean seriously, half the problems I have with injuries/bruises/discomfort is a direct result of ignoring my body’s signals and pounding away at whatever I’m working on way. too much. Alternatively, you can just live with the temporary pain and let your skin get tougher, which works too.

4. Oy, not much.

I mean like, Ped Egg and the classic vaseline/socks combo helps with dryness. But that really doesn’t solve the problem of having to put yucky black feet into your super cute new sandals after a class. Yucky. You’re on your own, girl.

5. Flip flops and PRIDE

Bruises are our badges of honor! That doesn’t change just because they’re on your feet.

Okay so your turn… any foot weirdness from pole?

I kinda hate heels except for photo ops, but I’m sure they wreak all kinds of havoc…

HT,

Cathy

Today’s pain is tomorrow’s strength (aka GET THEE TO THE STUDIO)

Posted on July 17, 2013February 19, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

So, a very wise person once told me to keep working through shitty times. “The pain will pass and all that will be left is awesomeness,” she said. (Lookin’ at you Tee!!!!)

Damn it all if she wasn’t right.

Look, it’s really hard to keep going with a goal that’s vague, and big, and distant when you feel crappy.

The good news is, you don’t have to be Jenyne Butterfly right now–right now, you just need to work on your leg hangs and knee holds for an hour, stretch out, and make something to eat with plenty of protein.

(That’s the pep talk I give myself every time I just wanted to skip practice and watch Netflix with a big bowl of I Wanna Die. (I mean not literally, but you get the idea)).

Each day for the past couple of awful, awful weeks, I found a different reason to do the same dang thing: get my buns in the studio.

I needed to be social: WENT TO THE STUDIO. I felt like crying: WENT TO THE STUDIO. I didn’t really have the energy to work out but maybe I could at least stretch…: WENT TO THE STUDIO. I felt fat: WENT TO THE STUDIO. I felt fit: WENT TO THE STUDIO IN SOMETHING TIGHT. You get the idea.

I’m still not Jen Butterfly. But a funny thing happened–while I was using pole just to get through a rough life patch, the consistency paid off in a lot of tiny ways.

You have to look closely, but, take these two pictures, for instance.

Just fyi, I reversed this photo for an easier comparison!

The first is from last summer, the second is from a couple of days ago.

Mind you, I’ve only been consistently stretching (the way every poler is supposed to, hello, slacker) for a couple of weeks.

But the difference in hip flexibility is there. Again, it’s subtle, but damn, there’s a difference! And I wasn’t even trying that hard!

I’m also noticing in a lot of pictures that my extensions look GOOD. This is a small thing, compared to how much more impressive it is to be learning new tricks–but regularly stretching and working on fundamentals has gotten me better form, which makes all the old boring stuff look newly awesome.

And, I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I was recently watching a documentary about ballerinas, and, as I am prone to doing, started dancing around my house while brushing my teeth. It was at this point that I discovered I can lift my leg straight out at hip level, sweep it around, and arc it behind me in one grand, controlled motion. LIKE A F***ING BALLERINA.

WHEN DID I BECOME CAPABLE OF DOING THIS?

I tried it on the other side and was successful again. (?!!!???)

Then I tried grabbing an ankle and lifting my foot behind me to head level like a figure skater, which was less pretty, but POSSIBLE. Again, other side, also successful.

So my question is: when did all these changes happen?

My question is not, however: how did these changes happen.

Because I already know: I WENT TO THE STUDIO. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So, what changes have you noticed in your body since you started pole? Any abilities you start to lose if you slack off?

I recently found that when I sit indian style, my knees fall flat to the side without my pushing down on them with elbows. Weird, and cool.

Anyway, tell me. And happy hump day!

HT,
Cathy

10 Reasons Why Pole is the BEST Antidote for Breakups (and Relationshits)

Posted on July 9, 2013December 10, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

Where did the time go?! I just realized that it’s been almost 2 years since that fateful day that I first printed a Groupon for a pole dancing class and my life changed forever (or, for at least two years or so).

It was something I’d been curious about for a while, but I think the real push to actually GO to the class came from just getting out of a relationship.

Or, more accurately, a relationshit.

You know when you’re in a relationship, and nothing dramatic happens–no one cheats, no one beats up anybody’s siblings at family parties, no one has substance abuse issues–but things just… get shitty?

Like, the tone the other person uses to ask about your friend Joe’s job search just suddenly really pisses you off, or you have a three hour screaming fight because he doesn’t like that your ex works a block away from your office and is friends with you on Facebook, but Jesus, why can’t he just trust you? (Not taking this from real life, tooootally making it up. Cough cough).

It’s when you can’t remember the good feelings feelings you once had, because the bad ones pile up like manure on rose bushes and who can smell flowers through the overpowering aroma of shit, shit, SHIT?

Okay I’m being over-the-top here, but the point is, though the “slow fade” is totally the best kind of break up (since all the SWEET, SWEET FREEDOM overpowers the sad feelings), it’s still going to sting.

You’re still going to be lonely.

You’re still going to wonder if you’re really all that, without a boyfriend around as proof.

You’re going to need validation, the company of friends, and exercise.

Lady, you need pole.

Let me break it down for you:

Reasons Why Pole Will Help Immensely In Your Breakup Survival

1. You will look like a fine, fine dime piece (that he dropped, whoops, watch out, somebody else is picking that up!), thanks to a combination of serious toning and carrying yourself like a BOSS.

2. You can sweat out your pain without having to deal with the gym. And let’s face it, you need all the endorphins you can legally get.

3. You will make tons of supportive female friends. (Seriously. They will clap for you when you get a new trick. Everyone needs applause in their lives).

4. You can EXPRESS YOURSELF (Evanescence, anyone?).

5. You will be distracted (yay, learning new things! What’s his name again?)

6. You will have a place to go at a certain time that is not your apartment, where the ice cream and your cell phone is. Keep that schedule full, girl. Classes, classes, classes.

7. You will have new goals to keep your life on track (“I can’t drink myself into a stupor, I have a pole class in the morning and my Superman is soooooo close!”).

8. Your ex will cry when he finds out. (Mine did. They all do. Enjoy).

9. You will feel sexy and amazing about yourself without making any bad, boy-related decisions.

10. IN FACT: you’re going to get choosier about boys. You’re going to get choosier about everything in your life, because you realized through pole that you are AMAZING. You are strong and sexy, and you have a community behind you.

Him? Oh, like that Beyonce song, he’s replaceable. But you? He’s going to have to look looooong and hard for another one. And she probably still won’t come close.

Anybody else take up pole after breaking up? ADMIT IT! Or if it made your relationship awesome, tell me about that, too. GIVE ME HOPE.

Happy (single!) twirls,

Cathy

“Snowden’s Girlfriend is a Pole Dancer!”: and other thoughts on hiding.

Posted on June 11, 2013February 19, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

…that’s the first sentence somebody said to me when I got into work today. Of course, I had to clarify, “Wait, she’s a stripper, or a pole dancer? Because there’s a difference. Also, good morning!”

“She’s a pole dancer,” he said, “she has a blog!”

Welp, it looks like that blog is probably getting totally overwhelmed by curious people looking for PICTURES (IS SHE HOT IS SHE HOT), so, I guess let’s all discuss this more as things develop?

Meanwhile… do you guys ever worry that you’ll end up in politics and then your hobbies will come back to haunt you?

This type of thing has happened to me several times, but in different ways. Like that time this real estate agent was showing me the apartment I moved into. He asked all kinds of questions about my life on our first walk-through (being stupidly honest, I just told him I’m a writer and dance instructor, instead of making something up), which I guess led to him investigating me a little further. Probably by searching my name and the word “dance.” SUPER SPY.

Naturally, on our second meeting, he blurted out (while alone in his car with me, for extra creepiness), “So… WILL THERE BE ROOM FOR A POLE IN THIS PLACE??”

*Blink.*

“BECAUSE I DID A LITTLE GOOGLING…”

Ah, congratulations, sir. You’ve learned the fine art of search engines! How embarrassing for me that you have discovered that I pole dance!

I had to endure a few repulsive comments about how much my boyfriend must LOVE this (I don’t have a boyfriend, I told him, which only prompted a conversation about how I should use it to get one), but throughout the whole gross meeting I made one thing clear: I’m not hiding.

I mean, if I were, I probably wouldn’t have a blog with my name and photos plastered all over it.

In a way, yeah, it sucks being vulnerable to the wrong kind of attention. People think they can scroll through a few pictures and jokes about what I’m up to and know me, or worse, judge what kind of person I must be.

I guess in this age of Facebook, that was going to happen anyway. So I might as well celebrate something I love.

But then there’s the other stuff–the things I write about on here that I’m not super proud of. Feeling lost, falling in love with the wrong people, getting burnt out on pole, struggling…. yeah, just “struggling” pretty much covers it.

It’s not an accident that this stuff ends up posted. There’s definitely an edit button, and I’ll admit I’ve used it.

But as much as I love sharing my most flattering trick photos, I feel like it’s important to show the hard work and the mistakes and the blisters and the tears, too. In pole AND in life.

It’s not easy. Should that part be hidden?

Do you guys have any interesting “discovery” stories?

Fill me in!

Anyway, here’s what Jezebel makes of Snowden’s chick…

Dear Prudence Talks Pole Dancing

Posted on March 8, 2013July 28, 2016 by Cathy Vandewater

…and I kind of want to hit her.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Okay, first off, I get that Prudence’s duty is to this woman and her life, and not the sport of pole dancing.

But, on behalf of the sport of pole dancing, how are we ever supposed to be legitimate when awesome, reputable people are hiding that they do it?

I mean, I get scared of what people will think sometimes. But then I remember why I do it, why I love it, the positive changes I see in people who take my classes… and I pick my head up and say “Yeah, I pole dance, and there’s nothing wrong with it.”

To be fair, I haven’t tried hoops or silks or other aerial arts. From what I’ve seen, aerial pole and these sports seem to have very similar moves.

But, not everybody is all about aerial with pole. I know I’m certainly not. Flow it my faaaaaaaaaaaavorite. If I couldn’t pirouette, sway, do some fancy footwork, spin… ew, I wouldn’t even want to do pole.

But I’m guessing Prudence (or anybody else who’s got very firm opinions on pole but who’s never tried it) would not understand that.

I believe that intent comes through, in any manner of expression, especially dance. If you use pole to express your sexuality, it’s going to look sexy (unless you’re doing something very wrong).

But if you’re using it to express, oh, I don’t know, any other color in the whole rainbow spectrum of human experiences and emotions, I think that will come through too.

Costumes can also project a lot onto a performance.

I don’t know. I think my advice to this girl would be to enter the competition, dance her ass off in the manner that suits her, and hold her head high about it.

But maybe I’m biased. What do you guys think?

No class tomorrow–we start the new schedule next week!

HT,

Cathy

Slightly toe-up practice vids

Posted on February 26, 2013February 19, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

I’ve been recording practice sessions lately because my mirror-o-walls doesn’t fit at the new place, and I have no idea what I look like dancing anymore. So I have all these funny little clips, and I feel like sharing them, even though, gasp, they’re not perfect.

My OCD is itching.

Anyway, here they are!

1. Iguana mount

Excuse the ugly feet… but dang, I was so proud that I finally got up!

2. Leg hangs

Yes, sadly, I’m only just getting the “hang” of these (SEE WHAT I DID THERE) after a year of dancing, for the simple reason that I just didn’t bother trying them for a long time. So, I’m attempting to teach myself, because it’s getting embarrassing.

3. Freeeeestylin’!

It’s a picture of New York! It’s a picture of New York! Ooooooooooooh! R-r-r-RANDOM!

(Too much Flight of the Conchords, sorry).

But seriously, here’s a video in which I intended to practice headstands, but got the bright idea to see if I could get incorporate them into a dance along the way. Spoiler alert: not really, it’s awkward. But I tried.