I AM OBSESSED WITH SIDE CLIMBING.

So, a very wise poler told me, “Your butt, or your knees. Only one can be high at a time. Choose accordingly.”

After that, side climb (which until now has been an exercise in rage, frustration, and one-sided indian burns) was CRACKED.

So, I was trying to find a video of some awesome side climbing to illustrate what I’m talking about, but I’m lazy, so all I found was this.

No. Don’t do that guys. Both feet at once, just like the Jenyne Climb. For the love of Christ.

Now, speaking of Jenyne, I know she does some effortless looking side climbing, but again, too lazy to look it up, so GO NUTS KIDS and please tell me if you know hof some youtubage where she or somebody else does a mean side climb so I can come back and throw it in here.

Anywhere, here’s some TIPPPPPPPPPPPZ (read that in the voice of “ERREBODY IN THE CLUB GETTING–) for side climbing that I discovered by doing it totally wrong:

1. Create space between your body and the pole

Do this by bracing with your outside arm (not your inside, because that would cover your face, yo. Your face is MONEY).

2. Stick your butt out

You knew this was coming right? Because literally everything in pole involves sticking your ass out in some way, shape, or form? But seriously, it helps you get your body away from the pole (less indian burn!), and allows your knees to come up for a nice, productive climb).

3. Point your damn toes

Actually this isn’t just about looks (BELIEVE IT OR NOT)–you’re going to need your legs fairly vertical and parallel to the pole to execute your climb that shall be on the side, SO, no locking with your ankles. This also means less pain for your aforementioned ankles. No hope for the tops of your feet, though, sorry!

4. ENJOY YOUR BRUISES, YOU ARE A BEAST

Yeah, this is going to hurt. I’m rocking UNPRECEDENTED numbers of leg bruises right now–on either thigh, behind the knees, and all over the tops of my feet. Also, many on the insides of my upper arms, and on on my wrist. And I love it. Swag.

Other news: I AERIAL CHOPPERED. I can’t wait to video this ish. I surprised myself by doing it while thinking, “this should be hilarious, no chance this is happening–HOLY SHIT I’M CHOPPERING AND MY HEAD IS THE LOWEST POINT OF MY BODY 10 FEET OFF THE GROUND OH GOD OH GOD.”

Any way, the moral of the story is, even when you don’t THINK you’ll be able to invert… apply Dry Hands as though you will, just in case. Because I was slipping and that’s terrifying.

Happy twirls!!!!

Cathy

UPDATE:

Today in SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER lazy news, here is the same damn video I posted of Jenyne the last time I wrote about her climb techniques. But hey, she does an excellent (if brief) sideclimb starting near 1:05, so check her out!!!

Starlight Pole Show: In Which I Accidentally Blog Hop

OH SNAP. So I went to a pole show yesterday. And it. Was. Awesome.

I dragged my shy, non-poling male friend, and I think he was scared. But witnessing his Imagecomplete bewilderment was half the fun.

I know none of you were about to take the R train all the way down to Bay Ridge for this, so let me tell you a little bit about the show. In alphabetic-als, because I’m really tired you guys.

A: Aerialists! There were two hoop girls, and they killed it. See, you can do stuff both near and far from the ground on a pole, but when you’re on a hoop, you’ve got the same odds of landing on your neck for the ENTIRE PERFORMANCE. Brass balls. These ladies got em.

ALSO, apparently you’re supposed to wear leg covering when you hoop, but one particularly bad ass girl decided to pole and hoop (Hey bro, I hear you like bruises…), so, she was bare legged. #Swag. The other is my girl Lauryn, who I’ve actually never seen dance before this, and she completely blew me away. The confidence… the grace… and of course, her amazing costume which actually wasn’t a surprise because I knew she was artistic like that. Anyway, I want to hoop now, except that pole has taught me nothing if not that ALL AERIAL ARTS SUCK AND ARE HARD.

B: BOYS: I’ve seen guys hit the pole once in a while, but dude last night KILLED it. Most guys do a lot of strength stuff and skip over the lyrical, but last night’s sole male performer was pure pole poetry… and he definitely did some shit I’ve never seen before, so hell yeah to creativity. He also showed up later in a Pole Threesome (TM? must be? because I have never seen this craziness before), in which he supported a girl by HER FOOT, by squeezing it with HIS LEGS. So many questions. Epic. Moving on.

C: Chair dance: So technically, this didn’t involve a chair, but the emcee of the event called her boyfriend out of the crowd, sat him Indian-style against a pole, and did quite possibly the most spine-tingly sexy dance I’ve ever seen in my life. True story. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. And I was close enough to the stage to see him mouth, “You are BEAUTIFUL,” and “I love you” during the dance, so, yeah. Way too much cute/sexy/poignant for me to even handle. Amazing.

D: Doubles: There were so many great twosomes and threesomes last night, including an incredible booty-popping number with ECP’s owner. I love when dancers are actually capable of crazy, crazy shit on the pole… but they can also break it down and have fun with the booty. Work.

E: Entertainers: So last night I learned that there’s a difference between being an incredible dancer/trickster, and being an entertainer. I realized this when a fairly new dancer (1 year, according to the program… that bitch) completely owned the audience with a few well timed pauses, smiles, and eye-bats during her (slinky, confident, gorgeous) performance. I find this totally inspiring, because I can’t do shoulder mounts and shit, but yes, I can flip my hair (!!!) I have a shot, you guys!!!!

F: Feedback: I also learned last night that you can’t just chill at a pole show. You need to yell, and scream, and encourage the dancers. This was new to me, since I’ve seen most performers on YouTube.

That’s all for now, because it’s been a busy weekend and I’m feeling lazy.

Have you guys ever been to a live pole show? What did you think? Did you feel discouraged or inspired?

Have you ever been in one? Is it as nerve-wracking as I’m guessing it is?

Fill me in!

Meanwhile, be SUPER jealous, because Pantera was at the show last night and she is both an incredible dancer and out of her damn mind. This is her. Really, how strong can a person be? Ridiculous.

Happy twirls (and hoops, and whatever the fuck else you guys are making look easy),

Cathy

Bizarre Keys Words You People Have Used to Find My Blog (Part II)

-“diced pineapples makes vagina better”

Rick Ross seems to think so.

-“crazy sexy babe poledancing a guy and forcess him to have sex”

To person looking for really specific porn: sorry that this is what you found.

-“my underwear complaint”

No underwear, no complaints! That’s my motto. (kidding)

-“beat that pussy up dance central”

I really hope this is the name of a dance studio.

-“lady on inside edition over weight that swings on stripper pole”

Now I need to check YouTube.

-“drake pole dance shorts”

Is there a market for this? It can’t be too hard to make…

-“chair to make you look like a pole is in your ass”

What.

-“what jane fondas for your obliques”

Was a pole dancing blog really the best result for this search? Google, you had ONE job.

-“girls hev sex and spin to other video”

More porn searches, again, sorry to disappoint.

-“ryan gosling body”

Hahaha, yes. The answer to that question is always yes.

-“omg ! you sucked too hard !”

Not touching this one.

-“christmas stripper names”

Yule Log? IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

-“ugly fat pole dancer”

…and those terms led them here. BRB, crying.

-“cathy, pole dance instructor”

Awwww, you like me. You really like me! 😀

❤ HT!

CV

Pole Songs That Won’t Make You Puke (Part 3: The Indie/Dark Edition)

I can’t even take credit for the only truly indie song on this list, which is courtesy of a guy from work whose taste is way higher-brow than mine. (Case in point: I listened to a Backstreet Boys CD last night. 80% non-ironically. I KNOW).

1. The Gaudy Side of Town, The Gayngs

I feel like this is audio softcore porn. In a really, really good way. I love how every new verse, new layers of tones/beats/general complexity (i’m not a music writer okay?) keep developing and it gets more interesting. Just listen, I promise it won’t be just once. IT IS THE PRINGLES OF POLE SONGS.

2. Shadows, Rufus Wainwright

I recently discovered a CD I burned (yes, this was from 2004) of Rufus Wainwright’s Poses and Oh. My. God. Such beautiful music. Most of it’s totally not suited for dancing, but I’m partial to this track. I stopped dead in the middle of doing dishes to flow to this. That’s how you know it’s good. Also, that was a dead giveaway that my pole is totally in my kitchen.

3. Straight to Video, Mindless Self Indulgence

So this one’s a little creepy/dark/emo, but I dig it. It’s refreshing after all the hip hop.It’s also really slow, so hello dark, creepy, sexy dancing!

4. Psychotic Girl, The Black Keys

Another slow jam. Love the raw vocals on a mellow bass groove. Yum.

5. Every Day Is Exactly the Same, NIN

Wow, this got dark, huh? Sexy/Depressing is definitely one of my favorite combinations. It’s like sweet and salty! Anyway, heavy percussion, lots of distortion, hot.

BONUS:

A Backstreet Boys selection courtesy of a very weird night for my neighbors.

New schedule guys!!!! My 4-week course starts Tuesday, so sign up before it fills up (see what I did there?). Class is 1.5 hours and includes some killer core and upper body work in addition to choreo, spins, transitions that progress each week into a full length piece by the end of the course. Also, 1-1 ration of people to poles for this one, so, good stuff.

Happy twirls!

Cathy

Talkin’ bout PRACTICE.

So, who has a pole? Raise your hand!

Now, who actually USES this pole? Twice a week? Once a week? Once a month?

Yeah, guilty.

Until very recently, the most contact I’ve made with my pole this past month has been crouched over, looking for a lost earring. I hit my head on it.

Which is a shame, because I’m always annoyed at myself for blanking out during freestyles. Whyyyy do I keep visibly pausing can’t I think of anything to do? Why are my transitions so rocky? Why do I space out and do the same moves over and over when I know lots of of other stuff (that I need to practice!!)?

The reason, obvs, is lack of practice.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m on the pole a lot. But, teaching. Stop and start. The same moves every class, for the most part. It’s great for refining technique in general, but not so awesome for stringing together an inventive freestyle.

Here’s what I’m working on–I think it might help you guys too. Even if you just spend 20-30 minutes on your pole once or twice a week, I think if you stay focused, you’ll get a lot out of it.

Elements of a productive practice session:

1. Attempting to do the stuff I hate and can’t really do yet (5-10 mins)

It’s really tempting to just to the fun, easy stuff, but there’s only one way to have more fun, easy things to do: master the hard ones you hate now.

If I can’t fully get into a move, I get as close as I can and hold it for several seconds, a few times.

This can mean holding an invert move with your hands still on the pole (or maybe testing one hand off… then maybe the other… just for a second), trying push pulls just for a second before grabbing the pole again with your feet, or holding a pole crunch if you’re not choppering yet.

None of us are going to wake up magically falling into fabulous tricks we’re lusting after, so pushing our boundaries (safely!) in increments is the only way to get there.

2. Inventing combos (10 mins)

I try to dream up two or even three move combinations per session. Maybe a fan kick into a pirouette, into a fireman? A chopper into a one leg hang into a superman? A dip into a back hook spin into a showgirl?

Do this expecting only a few to work, but stay creative and keep trying. You might hit on some really cool new ways of transitioning what you know—and at worst you’ll be practicing staples. Find something you like? Drill it so as to commit to memory for a freestyle.

3. Building strength and control (5 mins)

Try modifying a few movements you usually do while dancing to make them harder–voila, EXERCISE! But like, specific to the muscles and moves you’re going to use while dancing, which means better pole-results than boring old push ups and crunches would get you.

For example, you can try an arm-only climb. (It’s just like the transition you make from a climb into a sit, but over and over–with straight legs and straight arms, you pull yourself up the pole from a sit and then immediately clamp your legs, all the way up).  Sound hard? Yes, it is. But dang is it effective. You’ll notice an improvement in your control pulling into aerial moves, and also form: I’m finally kicking my bent knee habit with these, in addition to building upper body strength. (I CAN DO A PULL UP YOU GUYS).

Death lay crunches are good too (just, ya know, close to the ground and with a rounded back and tucked chin, because your neck looks sexier not broken), and so are straight leg choppers, which I’ve been working on to hopefully make my regular choppers a lot stronger.

4. A “Just Keep Moving” song or two (5-10 mins)

The best way to keep from blanking out during a freestyle: freestyle regularly. You hate me, don’t you?

Every practice should include freestyle time in which stopping is not allowed. It doesn’t matter if you forget everything and body wave for two and half minutes, just keeping moving until something comes to you.

The point of this exercise in frustration and fear is discovery–you might find yourself flowing new moves together that work especially well, or hit on a pose or transition works great for a dramatic moment in the music.

It’s also good preparation for this Oh Shit moments in pole when you mess up and have no choice but to recover, or completely ruin your dance. Dancing through awkwardness and mistakes (like botching a pirouette) and not stopping, in my opinion, makes the difference between the dabbler and the Dancer with a capital D. Freestyle a lot. Be a Dancer.

5. Strictly business (5 mins)

Pick 2-3 tricks per practice that you’re going to drill, the simpler the better. Do a set number on both sides, in a row. Make the transition into the moves as clean and consistent as possible, aiming to improve extension, control, and overall form each time you repeat the move. This is “make everything look better” time. Use it wisely and be strict with yourself. If you mess up the move, do it again, maggot! ARMY/POLE STRONG.

6. Floor work/stretch

I use floor work to trick myself into stretching. If I do a few hair tosses or kick my feet around, it makes it a lot easier to do boring old flexibility training. But yes, this is important, because, like everything else in pole, splits are not magically happening for me. No one is exempt from those annoying floor lunge things.

What do YOU do every practice? What do you want to work on? What’s your current archnemesis? Do you have a pole at home, and if you do, are you kind of scared to do hard stuff on it in case you break your neck and then starve to death because you can’t get to your phone and you live by yourself? (This is my new fear.  Thanks mom).

Anyway, I have so many questions. Fill me in!

New schedule on classes! My 4-week is filling up fast so grab a spot! Schmedule here.

Happy twirls for the new week!

Cathy

5 R&B Pole Songs That Won’t Make you Puke Part 2 (And Kinda Sorta the 1996 edition)

1. Enough of No Love, Keyshia Cole

I love me some KC. This chick is the queen of songs you can dance to while simultaneously crying a little.

2. Outside, The Weeknd

Is this technically R&B? Don’t know. Don’t care. The Weeknd, I’m not even going to complain that you’re missing an “e.” That’s how hot you are.

3. F***ing You Tonight, Biggie

Okay, so you know there’s always one that breaks the rules on misogynism… but come on, this is vintage. And it’s so smooth, guys. So very, very smooth.

4. Touch Me, Tease Me, Case

Like, was 1996 a really good year for me or something? I don’t know, but music from this era always makes me feel good. More vintage! Also, gotta love an Isaac Mizrahi shout out.

5. Can’t You See, Biggie and Total

Ahhhh, I can’t help it, I’m sorry.

BONUS: You Don’t Have to Be  a Prostitute, Flight of the Conchords

I mean, it’s an inspirational message. And there’s a little pole dancing. Also, JEMAINE.

Didn’t sign up for classes yet? PREPARE TO DIE. Just kidding. But, ya know, you might want to check the schedule.

Happy Twirls!

Cathy

Loving Pole in an Inappropriate Way.

Mkay, so I’m boyfriendless.

I am okay with this, mainly because I don’t have to deal with any

And who could have known… I was already straddling my dream date.

rollercoaster emotional stuff, but also because, without all the “quality time” nonsense, I can take good care of myself–cook well rounded meals, paint my toenails regularly, get 7.5 hours of sleep, yada yada yada. I realize this makes me sound old, but with 3 jobs and a 1-1.5 hour commute, making myself a salad before I collapse is kind of a big deal. So I’m enjoying it.

Besides, boys are fun, but if you see the relationship through its natural trajectory, it becomes horrible and exhausting. Like, you take an adorable puppy home, but then it gets big and pees on stuff and bites your friends.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is probably going to be like every time I have a bad hangover and decide to not drink a certain kind of liquor again. I love boys. I’ll get back out there. I’ll fall madly in love and get my heart broken, and then write another post like this in 6 months.

(Just like every time I forget about the dry heaving and think it’s a good idea again to shoot whiskey on an empty stomach again).

BUT FOR NOW: I’m in a new kind of committed relationship, and his name is Pole.

Why Pole Is Better Than Any Boyfriend I’ve Ever Had:

1. He’s always hard

WINK.

2. He’s supportive

Seriously, I can swing circles around him.

3. He ALWAYS wants to dance with me

…and he never does the white man’s overbite. Better yet…

4. He always lets me have the spotlight

Pole, u so secure.

5. He lifts me up and makes me stronger

How many men (ahem, boys) can you say this about?

6. …But when it hurts, it’s not for no reason

Gotta bruise a little, there’s no getting around it. But boy is that gorgeous new pose worth it!

7. He doesn’t get jealous

Not even when I flirt with chair 😉

8. He doesn’t get mad if I flirt with him and then decide to go to sleep instead

Sometimes you just do a few pirouettes and decide you’re too tired for anything serious, ya know?

9. He’s always there for me

When I can’t sleep, when I’m bored on a Saturday afternoon, when I want to show off in a picture, when I want to scare my mom… the list is endless.

10. We look great together

Seriously. Cute couple alert.

Anyway, Happy Twirls!!! And fuck Valentine’s day. Right? Right.

Cathy

Cross training adventures: chair dance

Flashdance! SO de sexe.

The only reason for having your own rules about things is to completely break them, right?

I don’t really like when people confuse pole dance with exotic dance. I mean, you can have pole dancing without stripping, and stripping without pole dancing. They’re not mutually exclusive.

So I like to mouth off about how I’m purist, and pole dance is dance, and it’s not to be confused with stripper stuff like rolling around on the floor and spreading your legs excessively. Because I don’t do THAT.

If chair dancing taught me one thing, it’s that the RNC could have been soooo much more entertaining.

Well, yeah. In the words of Rick Perry… oops.

A friend was taking a chair dance class and invited me along. And, to be honest, I wanted a break from all the pain and bruising for a while.

I feel kinda wimpy since laying around my house during hurricane sandy, and I need baby steps to get me back in the studio.

Also, my floor work definitely needs help, so I figured something slower and bendier might be in order. Besides, there’s no way “chair” could be harder than pole, right?

Yeah, it was hard. The class was only 45 minutes and I was sweating within 10. By the end, my legs were shaking and I was feeling lactic acid burn in my abs. And I train my abs, a lot! Go figure.

Here’s the thing: getting your legs straight and close to your face is not easy. Keeping them there while you open and close in patterns in much harder. Doing all that while balancing on the edge of a chair: SUPER FRICKIN’ HARD.

How great to have these moves in your arsenal though, right? Now when I want to do a mini workout before bed, screw sits up and push ups–I’m going to run through my chair routine! It’s got all the power ab and quad work with a nice side of flexibility training and floor-work drills.

And BONUS: while I have a personal policy against exploiting my pole moves for sex appeal, I have no such rule for chair dancing. So I totally did my new routine for a kinda-sort-boyfriendy type.

He liked it 😀

Anyway, I don’t think I’m going to move on to “lapdance” classes any time soon, but I really, really dug chair and I’m thinking about spending a little more time on floor work/dance moves in general for pole.

What do you guys do for cross training when you’re bored of pole? Do you separate pole from other “exotic” arts, or would you give another genre of sexy dance a try?

Don’t forget, there’s a new website for my studio! So make sure to sign up for my Monday spin class HERE.

Also, speaking of floorwork (and because I’m a bad business woman and I love giving other instructors my students), Alieesah is teaching an amazing Sensual Floor work class right before me. GET ON IT, seriously. I’m going to try and sneak in myself, if I can. 6-7pm, snitches!

Happy twirls!

Cathy

P-A-R-T…Y? ‘Cause I gotta!

You guys… big news: I’m in training to teach parties. This is partially because I’m broke, and partially because our studio is doing mad party business. But the bottom line: I need to get better at walking in stilettos and shouting. Holla!

PS. Sexy new website! EDC is now at http://danceyourwaynyc.com/. CHECK IT.

<3<3<3
Cathy