Things That Piss Me Off, Entry #3,012: Teachers That Tell You You Can’t Be Taught


Y’all I am PISSED.

EXTREMELY PISSED.

Let’s say there was an adorable bae named Bae. He’s basically the cutest and the person that bought me that crazy stripper light thing for my pole.

He  took me to urgent care on Christmas Eve when my ear exploded. He also fearlessly looked into its yucky, green depths to report what was happening. (Warning: this video is gross).

Sometimes he sneakily meditates while I’m in the shower, but he always answers my questions. (Shouted from the bathroom: “Babe can you check if the milk is still good?”)

His answer:

IMG_4385
“Milk is good.”

Bae wants to learn to swim. He doesn’t know how, and as an adult, he’s made the gutsy move of taking swimming lessons. I’m a lifeguard so I was all, I’ll teach you to swim! And he was all, “I’m serious about this, it’s not your problem!”

He took his first lesson. And you guys, the teacher told him he’s too top-heavy to float.

.

Obviously, I flipped out. We started our own lessons. Bae does indeed suck at floating, but we worked on it. A week later, I walked into the pool at our gym after work and saw this: him swimming with a pull buoy.

Sorry Michael, you're just too top heavy.
Sorry Michael, you’re just too top heavy.

Two weeks later he’s swimming without any assistance, and his teacher (who maintained that he simply could not be taught to swim up till the third lesson) is amazed at his progress and moved him up to level 2. Bae now practices on his own more than I hit the pole studio, and loves being in the water.

What’s the secret sauce? I don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing, I didn’t tell him he couldn’t be taught.

Who does that???

Now don’t get me wrong: certain body types are better suited to some sports than other. I have big hips and trust… it takes a lot to get them up over my head on the pole, for instance.

But a teacher DOES NOT…. let’s say it again, DOES NOT try and pass their bad teaching off on a person’s body type. That shit is uncalled for.

First of all… have you seen Michael Phelps? I rest my case.

Second of all, maybe try another approach? On the pole, if somebody can’t spin yet, how about dips? If they can’t dip yet, let’s work on walking. With swimming especially, there are so many tools available to get someone moving in the water, whatever they need assistance with. Flippers, pull buoys, kick boards, you name it. A teacher’s lack of imagination or problem solving skills should never be dumped on a student like that.

Have you guys ever had an experience like this? Did you speak up, or work on your skills on your own? Did it turn you off to a sport or skill altogether?

I hope not, but if so please help me bitch about it.

Sh*t Pole Studios Say: In Solidarity With Nina Reed

I just saw that Nina posted something very brave about the conditions at her studio.

I read it, and I felt kind of ashamed, because the same damn thing was going on at three studios I’ve worked at, and I didn’t have the guts to say anything about it. I realize now that it’s not quite as selfish as I thought to push back in this situations, because when you keep quiet, everyone else that works there suffers too.

Did I tell you guys I got fired from my last teaching job?

I did. And it had nothing to do with my teaching. In fact, I was mostly teaching parties, and each and every one ended with requests for dates and times of my normal classes so they could come back and learn more.

I was having a blast, my students and parties were coming back for more–but strangely, no matter how many photos the girls wanted with me, or requests for my name and teaching schedule I got, or hugs and earnest “thank-yous,” I didn’t receive any tips.

Now, I never expect tips. But, at the other studios I’d worked at, they were actually a part of the cost of a party. Just included in the total package cost. So I was worried I was doing something wrong.

Then I got a look at the party contract. (The owner’s assistant showed it to me to give me information about the party and I kept on readin’).

The Studio That Stole My Tips

Guys, the studio owner was charging a mandatory “instructor tip” on parties the whole time. Funny thing was, though I was busting my ass teaching three or four parties in a row (the balls of my feet would blister) I never saw a dime of my “tips.” There were also explicit instructions not to give the instructor a cash tip, since this was included in the base rate of the package.

So to recap: This studio was charging people an instructor tip, and also banning them from tipping me in cash. Like, just to make sure that I didn’t benefit from my hard work at all, in any way.

I confronted the owner and gave him two conditions on my continued employment: 1. instructor tips should either not be mandatory, or must now be paid in cash and presented directly to me (which is the way it worked at my previous two studios), and 2. I would be paid a 10% tip on the parties I had already worked (even though I’m pretty sure the number he collected on my behalf was closer to 20%).

The owner responded by holding my paycheck hostage and accusing me of “extortion” (lol). He also fired me. It took weeks and threats to file a complaint with the labor department before he finally paid half of what he owed me.

I found out later that he told his assistant–who worked as a bartender/hostess at parties and is an exchange student from China—that it’s against the law in the United States for her to collect tips if he pays her minimum wage. He told her it was her choice to either not be paid and collect tips instead, or make minimum wage (is that $8 an hour now? I lose track), and surrender her cash tips to him.

She chose option B.

I also found out that all my students were being charged a $7 “instructor gratuity” simply for taking my regular classes.

Obviously, this didn’t go to the instructor, but to this day I feel a little sick thinking that my students thought I was ripping them off with surprise fees that 1. weren’t my idea, and 2. were collected in my name though I never received them.

I don’t believe in dragging small business names through the mud (even when they deserve it), but since I feel like clients are getting lied to here as much as teachers, I will happily share the name of the studio with anyone who emails me privately for their own protection. I can also recommend some lovely and honest studios too!

The Studio That Stole the Classes They Paid Me In

Another studio I worked at on a “work study” basis for free classes had me work way more hours than I could possibly redeem for classes (the studio was only open nights, and I had a second job the nights that I wasn’t work-studying). Then, as soon as my work-study time was up, the hours of classes I’d busted my ass for were unceremoniously deleted from our system.

Also, that job was billed as “greeting students at the reception desk and coordinating classes” but turned out to be a straight-up sales job. I was constantly pressured to cold call people who had had parties with us and try to sell them packages, and had to stand on the street for hours aggressively passing out fliers (if I came back with any the owner would yell at me. I resorted to throwing them out if I couldn’t pass out enough).

On the rare occasion that I could take a class, the owner (who taught many of the classes) would book me on top of full classes, so that I was often sharing a pole with her. I didn’t receive any corrections either, not being a “real” student. It was embarrassing and awkward, and not at all worth the hours I put in there.

The Studio That Policed My Blog and Banned Me From Working In the Tri-state Area for a Year After They Laid Me Off

They told me I had to bring in clients and that I should start a blog (which I did, heyo!) but then would confront me with printouts of posts they didn’t like–often nitpicking over a single word. I had to sign a non-compete contract that barred me from teaching pole anywhere for A YEAR after I left the studio (which I fearfully complied with, even after my reason for leaving ended up being them randomly cancelling all my classes without any explanation!) Oh, and re: my classes randomly being cancelled, I found out that they told my students I “went back to school.” I guess they wanted to switch over to a parties only business model, but it would have been nice to hear that from them, not from a former student I ran into at Body and Pole who excitedly asked me what I was getting my Master’s degree in 😐

To this day I’m scared to post any tutorials for simple, basic moves because I’m afraid I’ll get a call from them–since, like Nina’s studio, I was forbidden to ever teach anything I was trained in.

Because the fireman spin is an extremely exclusive move that they probably invented.

Oh and I paid for that “training” out of pocket anyway.

This was very long winded, but I guess I’m just trying to say, Nina, you are not alone. You have my support. This bullshit is bigger than your studio or my studio–it’s a community-wide problem. So bravo on speaking up.

Anybody else got horror stories? I can’t be the only one…

Fired. And other setbacks.

Oy. It’s been a week.

Me imitating Grump The Sheep, who poops brown jelly beans, on Christmas. This face represents my feelings this week.
With Grumpy The Sheep, who poops brown jelly beans, on Christmas. This face represents my feelings this week.

So, exciting stuff, kids: I got fired from my night job as a lifeguard.

As bad as this is, just, even without any context, it’s extra cringe-worthy because I am a perfectionist goody-two-shoes who has NEVER BEEN FIRED FROM ANYTHING, and, I’ve worked there for almost four years.

So I’ve been angstin’, hard.

I don’t think I’ll miss the job (though I will miss the people, I considered most of them friends). I mean, no more shitty towels. No more ridiculous “safety surveys” about diabetes that I have to read and answer multiple choice questions about on my own time. No more endless, pointless emails starting with “Team,” and then follow-up emails asking my why I didn’t answer the email that started with “Team,” fast enough, even though I am AT AT MY DAY JOB RIGHT NOW GUYS and seriously, 12 bucks an hour is not enough pay to answer job-related emails in my off time.

Ugh.

Also, there was the time they demanded all employees have our photos taken and give our background and educational info (“for the staff page of the website”) and then I walked into the gym one day and saw my picture and PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS plastered on the wall by the towels and water fountain for all to see. Not cool.

And then there was the day they took away the staff’s  “kitchen privileges” so I had nowhere to store my lunch during a 10 hour weekend shift.

In hindsight: this was not a great loss.

Anyway, in case you were wondering, I wasn’t fired for doing anything awful or intentional. I was fired because a steam room flooded overnight after my shift.  It cost money. I was canned.

I found out that I was fired, by phone, the same day I was given an audition to teach somewhere new. Yay! Until I found out that the month and a half of training (21 hours a week), would be unpaid, and starting wages for instruction after that would be less than I made life guarding. (See the above dollar per hour amount for reference).

Like. Seriously? In case you’re not familiar with instructor wages in the pole world, that’s about a 5th of what studios generally pay. And as well they should–it’s hard work, a lot of responsibility, and as a contractor, the taxes that come out of that are pretty devastating.

I’m all for training and experience, and dancing for the love of it, but, let’s not get crazy–work is work. So, as much as I hate turning down opportunities to dance and teach, I said no. Ugh. I was really excited for a new gig, but, a girl’s gotta eat.

Speaking of gigs: you guys probably already figured this out from the lack of class postings, but I don’t teach at EDC anymore–they decided to go the party route and stopped offering instructional classes. And I just hate standing in heels too much to do parties on a regular basis. So, I’m gig-less. I know. I’m sad too. WE’RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.

Somebody tell me a story of when they got fired and things turned out just fine, please? I feel like such a delinquent.

Love, twirls, and gainful employment,

Cathy