Two takes, 10 minutes, beep beep boop! (as promised)
For Sharay: What Might Be Messing Up Your Invert (But I’m Just Guessing, Girl)
I have been getting some awesome fan mail lately, which makes me wonder if I’ve been accidentally sending out “I feel like I don’t have anything to offer anyone now that I’m not teaching anymore, might as well just give up on this blog” vibes and y’all just happen to be lovely supportive people like that.
But THIS ONE got me so excited, because it asked for my help.
(I am nothing if not DESPERATE TO HELP, especially when “helping” involves me being a know it all. Like, you all know me by now, right? This is my jam.)
So anyway here’s a question I got from Sharay:
“I am having so much trouble inverting and doing an open v spin. Am i too heavy? Do you have any tips? Thanks so much!”
First things first (I’m the rilllllest): you are not too heavy.
Why do we always assume that something is mortally wrong with us when we can’t do something right away? This reminds me of being an 11 year old in 1997 when every piece of clothing was cropped and made of lycra and I remember thinking “I AM JUST SO FAT AND WRONG, I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO GET DRESSED.” Now I’m all LOL, it’s because I was going to turn out all curvy and bangin’, and high-waisted side-zip clam diggers look good on no one.
But that was a tangent.
Sharay, you are not too heavy. Just saying.
OKAY, so from there, please know that inverts are fucking hard. It took me about a year to get mine, and even then, it was sporadic (could do it one day, not the next) for a few months. I still can’t aerial invert, but a large part of that is simply not attempting to.
Assuming you ARE attempting (which please, keep doing that, you’re getting stronger every time you try and fail, trust), here’s some stuff that might be messing you up:
1. You are not allowing your upper body to tip back
This one gets a LOT of people. It’s like you want to keep your head up so you can see yourself chopper, but duh, no one can anatomically get their legs over their heads unless their heads drop. Once you crunch your legs to your chest, let your arms straighten and TIP YOUR UPPER BODY BACK so that your head is lower than your hips. Scary? Fuck yes, this is terrifying, which is probably why your body may not be letting you do it. Get a patient, ballsy spotter who’s not afraid to position you correctly and get used to this position. You’re gonna spend a lot of time here when you get your invert!
2. Your arms are too high
You should be grabbing the pole about chest level, maybe a tad higher, while you’re standing (before attempting an invert). But if you let your hands creep up to eye level or worse, your arms will already be straight, and it will be impossible for you to drop your upper body once you crunch your legs in (see above).
3. You’re not pushing your hips up like your life depends on it
Do me a favor. Next time you’re near a pole, lay down next to it with the pole tucked into one of your armpits. Grab it with both hands as you would for any invert, then slowly draw your knees to your chest. THEN, push up from your hips/butt and open into a V as your booty lifts off the ground. Try it a few times slowly, both in and out. (This is conditioning by the way, so feel good about that!). Is inverting 80% abs? Yes. But that little hip/booty bump is what gets you up and over. And I have a feeling that’s where you might be stuck. So practice this exercise to get comfortable with the movement before you’re all OMG I’M TRYING TO INVERT AND THIS IS HARD AND TOTALLY DISORIENTING.
I’m too lazy now, but let me see if I can shoot a quick vid to visually illustrate these issues. Anybody else want to weigh in? Community effort!!
Slightly toe-up practice vids
I’ve been recording practice sessions lately because my mirror-o-walls doesn’t fit at the new place, and I have no idea what I look like dancing anymore. So I have all these funny little clips, and I feel like sharing them, even though, gasp, they’re not perfect.
My OCD is itching.
Anyway, here they are!
1. Iguana mount
Excuse the ugly feet… but dang, I was so proud that I finally got up!
2. Leg hangs
Yes, sadly, I’m only just getting the “hang” of these (SEE WHAT I DID THERE) after a year of dancing, for the simple reason that I just didn’t bother trying them for a long time. So, I’m attempting to teach myself, because it’s getting embarrassing.
3. Freeeeestylin’!
It’s a picture of New York! It’s a picture of New York! Ooooooooooooh! R-r-r-RANDOM!
(Too much Flight of the Conchords, sorry).
But seriously, here’s a video in which I intended to practice headstands, but got the bright idea to see if I could get incorporate them into a dance along the way. Spoiler alert: not really, it’s awkward. But I tried.
Intro is this Saturday at 3pm, snitches! Sign up 🙂
Happy twirls,
Cathy
Getting MAD FIT in 8 super weird places
Ah, more reasons to love pole. So. Freaking. Much.
I know a lot of people dance to mix up their work out routines (great idea, by the way!), but fitness has always been just a nice plus of pole for me.
I mean… I’m the type that gets really frustrated when my muscles start giving out because dang, I wanted to practice that one thing one more time!
But the weird thing is, it’s always super random muscles that get tired from pole. Last night I had to give laybacks a rest not because my legs were giving out, but because my big toe was cramping.
Seriously?
Seriously big toe? You’re going to play me like that?
As our instructors like to say though, you can’t ignore even the little muscle issues because a toe cramp can definitely screw with your leg muscles, which can in turn screw with your grip.
Which can then screw with your head. Because you landed on it. OH SNAP.
But seriously, cramps aside, here are weird muscle groups I’ve noticed I’m accidentally keeping in top condition:
1. Inner thighs
Okay this is actually pretty awesome. I remember being in middle school and finding out what “thunder thighs” meant for the first time, staring at my legs for a bit, then frantically doing leg lifts out of my mom’s Jane Fonda book.
Eventually though, I realized “spot reducing” is kinda BS, and resigned myself to a little inner thigh chub. NBD, right?
NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE AMAZING INNER THIGHS. Holy crap, trying not to die while hanging upside down from your thighs is like, the best training ever, apparently, because my inner thighs are looking boss. I mean, I guess I’ll take it?
2. Deltoids
This kinda pisses me off, because I assumed that pole dance would trick out my arms. Nope, just the shoulders.
In fact, the contrast between my super tight delts and loose, ever-so-floppy triceps just makes the whole arm situation look worse. Damn you, fiercely toned delts. Damn you to hell.
3. Calves
Can’t pretend to be angry about this. “Imaginary high heels” at all times (ie. standing on your toes) makes for some awesome, accidentally toned calves that look baller in real heels.
Downside: the shame of running in shoes with lifts in the back. The guy at the shoe store was horrified by by my apparent muscle imbalances, so that’s what I ended up with.*Shame*.
4. Forearms, wrists, and hands
This is kind of a do or die situation, really. After I weaned myself off Dry Hands (grip aid’s a hell of a drug!), my wrists and hands had to get stronger… because I couldn’t really spare any more skin rubbing off, and they must have known that.
I mean, I guess my forearms never really looked fat or anything, but I can the difference. I find myself giving very intimidating handshakes. Though that could also be the cray cray callouses I have, that are scary people. Whoops.
5. Obliques
ROCK ON, I love my new side abs! Kinda wish the rest of the abs would catch up, but I’ll take what I can get. I think it’s all the leg swinging, twisting, and wrapping, but I can actually see individual, Bat-man ablets happening along my rib cage. That’s DEFINITELY a pole perk.
6. Upper back
Holy god is all I can say about this. In addition to posture improvement, my upper back is mighty fine in the muscle department. I think it’s safe to say that this is where the majority of effort is coming from in pole, not arms (at least with spins).
7. Feet and ankles
Weird, right? But all the push offs, the climbing, the ankle hook make their mark. I’m hoping this helps with running, since the top of my feet tend to get tired. Is there a word for that muscle? Moving on.
8. Biceps
Okay this is not a weird muscle. But yes, climbing and inverting will tone the shit out of it.
Any weird places you’ve noticed firming up with pole?
How about muscles you WISH would get stronger, to help with dance?
I work with a lot of personal trainers at my day job so I’m thinking of asking them for help with a strength building routine. If they give me a baller work-out, I’ll be sure to share!
Happy twirls!
Cathy
I believe I can flyyyyyy
Literally.
So first of all, HI SNITCHES! I’ve been away… doing a little of this:
And a teeny, tiny bit of this:
Baaaaaaaaaaaallin’.
So basically, my birthday happened (eww, getting old, gross) which meant a pilgrimage to my home country (upstate New York) to hang out with my parents and re-enact parts of my childhood, like looking at my mom’s flower bed, walking around the block with my lil sis, and going flying with my dad.
My dad, who’s closing in on his 1000th hour in the sky, has been flying since the 70’s for fun…. because people did weird shit like that for fun in the 70’s.
I was raised on 20 minute trips to the Oneida County Airport, saying “Niner niner!” and the gumball machine by the Upstate Flying Club sign out counter. (Gum helps you equalize your ears, which was always my excuse for begging for some, pre-flight).
A few years ago, while I was still coming home for the summers, I was even working on my pilot’s license, to my dad’s delight. I had a female flight instructor named Adina that I paid for with my lifeguarding money ($75 an hour!), studied my flash cards, and wrote in flight sessions in my log book. All until I ran out of money and moved to New York City to be A Writer.
Now, not so much to my dad’s delight, I dance on poles. And write! But it’s the dancing on poles part that I know bugs him.
My mom’s having a hard time with my new hobby too.
They were both okay with my illustrious bellydance career (I was in an off-off-off broadway show!), but, though that arguably involved less clothing, it was more easily put in the “art” category of dance.
Now, even when I try to tell my parents about climbs, spins, and inversions I’m working on (so not sexy! This is totally a serious sport!) they tell me I’ll paralyze myself.
You’ll shoot yer eye out, kid!
It’s impossible to win: do spinning and floorwork, you’re too sexy. Do inversions and holds, you’re PUTTING YOUR LIFE IN DANGER, CATHY.
*sigh*
Truth of the matter is, pole IS sexy. It DOES involve your body, and scantily-cladness.
Maybe that’s okay.
Our manager likes to say at EDC that it takes balls to call ourselves “Exotic Dance Central,” while it’s easier to go by “pole fitness” something or other, and not offend anybody.
But at the end of the day, whatever stereotypes or fears people have about connections to The Industry That Shall Not Be Named, pole dancing is still dancing on a pole. Some people are going to call it exercise, some people are going to call it stripping. But what is really is is dance.
Use it to get fit. Use it to feel sexy. Use it for whatever you can get from it, and enjoy every minute.
Just don’t use it for approval from others–because that might be a taller order.
I especially know my dad will be a hard sell, since he still sees me as a 5 year old wearing a huge headset and chewing gumballs. But I’m going to keep working on him. I have this hunch that when you’re doing things with a pure heart, other people will come around.
Meanwhile, I did get SOME family approval during my trip–from my little sis (not so little at 23). She picked up my camera while I was out and found a few practice videos. I was immediately concerned when she told me she watched them, but she just smiled and said… “That was really cool.”
Gotta love family.
How do you guys talk to your family about dance? Do you feel like you get a lot of judgement from people?
Spins class tonight at 7–I’m back and getting straight into the swing of things 🙂
Happy twirls!
Cathy
The agony and the ecstasy… of thigh holds.
Okay, let’s play “why do Cathy’s inner thighs hurt like a mofo today?!”
a. She got that Suzanne Sommers leg squeezer mcgee thing
b. Loooooots of sex (haha jkjk, I’d have to have a life for that!)
c. Lay backs.
Great job, you guess it–I bought a Thigh Master!
Joking. I popped my lay back cherry!!!
Here’s what pisses me off about pole dancing: IT LOOKS TOO DAMNED EASY. I’ve seen laybacks and deathlays and inverts and always been like, yeah whatever, haven’t gotten to that yet, NBD.
Correction: such a big deal. I had no idea.
Let’s clear something up. When you see a girl flip upside down while holding the pole with her legs, this is what’s happening: she’s supporting her full body weight with what’s essentially the worst indian burn of her life.
Until a callus develops. So everyone says, in a reassuring manner. I feel weird looking forward to that because it sounds gross.
You guys, my thighs are both aching and burning right now. I don’t know whether to do ice, or Bengay, or just antigonize the blister on my wrist a little to confuse my nerves and makes my legs stop hurting.
And here’s the worst part: ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS PRACTICING LAYBACKS.
That’s pole, folks. Anybody who’s ever fallen madly in love with it can attest to this. This is why we’re walking around bruised up, pole-burned, and with half the skin rubbed off of our wrists. Because we’re dumb, and obsessed, and we ignore the pain. We love it that much. (Wow, this sounds a little like an abusive relationship, huh? Oh well.)
I kinda wish I had taken more pictures of how badly I beat myself up last fall when I was just starting out. But for now, let me start putting together a montage of minor injuries from the few that I have… to be continued!
PS. Remember to come to a class this Saturday! I’m teaching Intro and Spins–here’s the schedule.
Happy twirls,
Cathy
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 