MYTHBUSTERS.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

“Hey there, sexy.”

This is an example of a thing a lot of new girls expect me to say when they walk into class dressed in a bra and full makeup.

What I actually say: “Hi! I’m Cathy, welcome to intro to pole!”

What I want to say: “Honey, no. Just no. That’s not what we’re doing. Go put on a shirt.”

Reading this article (which yes, from two years ago, but it still really pissed me off) made me realize just how widespread the pole ignorance is out there. Also, hearing comments from first timers like, “I didn’t want to come to a class until I lost weight,” make me really wonder if people have the right idea about what pole classes are like… and if misinformation is scaring people away.

1. You need to look sexy

Myth: Pole girls are bitches.
Myth: Pole girls are bitches.

Why do people think they need to put on makeup to come to a workout class? Guys, you totally don’t. Especially if this is going to deter you from coming. If you like feeling glamorous for your pole class and that encourages you to show up or boosts your morale, by all means, throw on some lipstick and treat yourself to some cute workout clothes. But you totally don’t have to. Remember, it’s all girls… and no dollars are thrown for sexy outfits. Seriously, nobody cares.

2. Everybody wears a bra and underwear

Oy, again, stahp. Please don’t show up in a bikini top and boyshort underwear just because you think that’s what everybody’s going to be wearing. True, you will kind of look like a NOOB if you show up in bagging running shorts and a long sleeved shirt, but stripper attire is not going to fool anyone into believing you know what you’re doing. The best way to look smart and blend in: tight fitting (short) shorts and a tank. Show up in that and you’ll get instant respect no matter where you go. Now, what you want to wear to your 2nd and 3rd class and beyond… that’s up to you.

3. Pole classes will teach you how to strip

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Yeah, no. Okay, well, being fair, it can vary from studio to studio.

Generally, pole classes fall into three categories:

-Fitness

-Dance

-Stripper experience

Fitness classes are pretty much exclusively about using the pole to repeatedly kick your own ass. There’s not much sensuality or flow between moves, and you should come dressed to sweat.

Dance classes, while strenuous, will be a little more sensual. You’ll be more concerned with nailing moves and putting them together than burning calories. Girls might wear cute outfits because it helps them get in the mood and it’s fun to watch hotness in the mirror, but they’ll still be functional as far as moving and sticking to the pole. This is what my classes are like.

Stripper experience “classes” are a run a little more like parties: you’ll learn a few moves, but they’re generally less technically difficult (at least at first) and everything you do will be a little raunchier looking. You might also get to sip wine or champagne, take pictures, and generally goof around more than you could in a fitness or dance class. The purpose of these is less a workout or learning to move on the pole than excitement, novelty, and fun. This is really the only class I would recommend dressing up for, because it’s part of the experience (and makes for great pictures). EDC’s parties are a lot more like this than our classes.

But that being said, you can hardly say that any of these classes teach you how to be a stripper. You may come away with some exotic-esque dance moves, especially from “stripper experience” studio, but that’s still a long ways off from learning how to actually remove clothing, dance on customers, “buss it” (which I hear about in 2 Chainz songs a lot and still don’t know what it means), etc. If that’s what you want to learn, skip pole dance classes and go directly for exotic dance classes, which are a different thing.

4. Pole classes are for wussies who are scared of the gym

This is the truth: wimpy girls don’t make it past their first class, which will definitely involve sore muscles, bruises, and god forbid, hand blisters.

I will agree with the author of the article I read that it shouldn’t be used as a complete replacement for the gym, even if you’re taking pole fitness classes. You still need cardio, and in my experience, evenly building muscle strength with free weights or machines is a wonderful way to absolutely KILL IT on the pole, with less risk of injury.

But does that make it for wimps? Or non-athletic people? Hardly. In fact, it’s best suited for the insatiable fitness people because no matter how good you get, there’s going to be a new challenge. Hitting choppers? Cool story bro, learn it on your non-dominant side. Did that? Awesome–it’s time for aerials. Got that? Nice, now monkey climb gracefully and incorporate it into your choreo.

There’s a really no end to the challenges, both physical and mental. Sometimes (speaking for myself here) it’s so challenging that the only thing that keeps girls hanging in there is the fun of self expression part of it. And yes, a cute pair of shorts and favorite songs help too. It’s icing on the cake, but oh, how we’d miss that icing if it were never there.

5. Pole girls are catty

Confession: I was guilty of assuming this when I first started out. (BONUS MYTHBUST: not all your teachers are former strippers. Some started out with a dance background, like me, and thought pole might be fun. It was, and is, and here we are. BAM, myth busted).

Yes, experiences can vary from studio to studio. But, having been to a few, I can safely say that the girls at MOST studios are incredibly nice and supportive of one another.

If you think about, it, everybody’s a little bit vulnerable: we’re supposed to be looking amazing (a pole is sooo sexy, right? :P), but in reality, everything we’re trying to do is very difficult and likely looks terrible at first.

That makes for a lot of commiseration, laughing, encouragement (giving and receiving), and believe it or not, genuine connections and true friendships.

Pole girls are BAD in the best possible way. You can meet some of the coolest girls of your life in classes. Just don’t write them off!

Having trouble with girls at your studio? Honestly, change studios. People are the same everywhere, but a lot of time it’s the studio itself, the teachers, or the management that set a weird tone for classes. It’s probably not going to get better, so I would advise shopping around. You’ll find your fit!

Can you guys think of anything you thought about pole, pre-first-class, that turned out to be totally wrong? I remember thinking I was going to be inverting within a few weeks of my first class. Ha!

Sad news: no classes at all this week! EDC’s moving studios. But hopefully that will leave me some free time to pole at home and work on some new moves.

Happy Twirls!

Cathy

Achieving a “dancer’s” size: on costume-induced body panic

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

You know that weird mix of excitement and dread?

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My first ever show! On campus at Pratt Institute in 2008. I was so terrified, I purposefully didn’t wear contacts so I couldn’t see the crowd.

It always reminds me of the feeling I used to get as a kid, when I couldn’t wait for my birthday, which happened to be a week before school started.

So, the big news is that my belly dance partner and crime K and I are debuting February 13th at Jebon on St. Marks place. I am so. Freaking. Excited. We’re been rehearsing really hard for a few months now with all original choreography, so now that we’ve done the work, it’s the fun part: costumes.

Hahahahaha fun? Bitch please. Try horrifying.

Let me first clarify that I like my body. It has served me very well in my time. That said, I am (ew barf I can’t believe I have to use this word) “womanly.” I have visible abs, but I’m also a little soft in places. This seems to me to be perfectly natural since, duh, i’m a woman. I eat healthy and I got plenty of exercise (in the studio, the gym, and carrying groceries up to my 4th floor walk up).

My body does what I ask of it on the pole, on the floor, and every place in between, so I’m thoroughly happy with it and the worrying ends there.

That is, until I put on the belly dance costume.

(NOTE:: ****I should clarify that the top half of this costume i’s not so much a costume as it is a balconet bra I bought at H&M. I have ginormous boobs, and “real” belly dance bras only come in small, medium, and large. I’m quite small (32″ band) AND large (D-DD), so, my options are limited.)

Me and K now, after a show

So anyway, here I am in the studio, under florescent lighting, in a freaking BRA, undulating my way down into a crouching position from THE SIDE. SO YOU CAN SEE ALL THE FAT ROLLS. AHHHHHH. And I’m panicking. Is 2 weeks enough time to lose 5 pounds? Can self tanner somehow magically help?

The really f***ed up thing is I’m in the greatest shape of my life right now. I LOVE how I look in clothes (thanks, pole!). But I feel like the standards for a body being displayed during a dance performance are totally different.

Like the hardcore-ness of your body is directly related to your amount of skill and self discipline in dancing.

Like no matter how hard I work nailing difficult moves, a soft middle screams “wannabe” anyway.

It’s very discouraging. And it doesn’t help that K is TINY. She’s both petite and about 90 pounds, so not only do I look a little on the flabby side next to her but I look like a freaking giant too. This is bad, guys. Please help me. I have two weeks.

Here’s my plan so far:

1. Focus on healthy fats and protein

I can’t starve myself right now, mostly because I really do need a lot of food for my lifestyle. I’m talking back to back pole classes and THEN a workout at the gym. None of these places are convenient locations for fainting. Also, fuck starving yourself. No.

BUT. If anything dials down on belly pudge, it’s skipping bread and sugar, right? Can’t hurt anyway.

2. Take care of my skin

I feel extra repulsive when all that extra flesh is also dry and icky looking. Now until February 13th is officially Exfoliation and Lotion Time. And performance night is going to require a shit ton of freaking shimmer, I don’t give a fuck. Yes.

3. Fluids?

This one I’m a tad sketchy on. A trainer friend of mine who also happens to be a show wrestler (hulk hogan type as opposed to skinny guys in jumpsuits, on mats) swears by this: chug tons of water in the weeks leading up to the event (to flush out bloat), then scale way back on fluids the day before and day of the event. I think I remember reading that Adriana Lima does this before Victoria’s Secret shows. I also remember thinking that it was batshit crazy.

Honestly I probably won’t do this one, except for the “drinking tons of fluids” part. That part seems good.

4. Self tanner

Yeah, actually, maybe not. Flabby and orange isn’t really an improvement on flabby and pale. Strike this one.

5. Beg K to let me change the angles on certain things

Crouching from the side… eesh. Or maybe we can incorporate some veil work here? Specifically holding up a veil to cover ourselves as we crouch from the side?

Here’s a funny story: one time, a woman came into my spins class and said she’d been wanting to take my class for months. I asked her why she waited so long. She said she thought she needed to lose 10 pounds before she could take a class like pole. (She was very, very slightly overweight by the way, this was not a safety issue).

Wait, did I say funny story? I meant a sad story, about a woman who didn’t think she was good enough at her current weight to take a damn EXERCISE CLASS.

WTF society, look what you’re doing. Stahp.

Anyway, how do you guys feel about the weight issue with pole? It’s hard to see all the top people in our sport looking soooooo tiny in their equally small costumes, and feel like we still have permission to even try.

Does fear about your body hold you back from performing? From wearing certain clothes to class?

Have you ever tried to lose weight for a show? (if so TELL ME ALL OF YOUR SECRETS)

Pole Pleaser, Pole Spins, and Intro to Pole tonight! 7,8, and 9pm, respectively. Hope to see you!

And here’s your official invitation to the belly dance show! Yes, they spelled my name wrong. Come for the frozen sake, stay for (possibly orange), nervous-looking belly dancer 😉

Happy Twirls!

Cathy

Flu-pocalypse Attacks!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater
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This is a totally unrelated photo of me as a zombie on Halloween. But also kinda a reenactment of how red my eyes have been. FLUPACOLYPSE.

Hey ladies!

First things first–I had the flu! Bought the t-shirt, went through the tissues and a bottle of Nyquil, bonafide flu-vivor over here!

Actually, for all my joking, yes, it sucked. But it was very short lived–suspiciously so, which leads me to believe that my flu shot was indeed NOT useless. I basically sweated and shivered like I had malaria for 24 hours and then felt better enough to move the next night. To a 4th floor walk up. Modern medicine! I dig it!

Anyway, wash your hands, people. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s no fun either.

But down to business. Here’s the big news: EDC’s lease is up and we’re moving!

We’re going to be in a temporary space for a minute (same neighborhood, don’t fret!), but we’ve got our sights set on a bigger, better, more permanent space, and we need your help! So if you’ve been considering taking a class or a series, now’s a great time to do it–through Indiegogo!

For the same cost of a drop in or 4-week course, you can make a donation directly to our Awesome-New-Studio cause AND score invites to the re-launch party. Oh yeah, and you’ll be helping us out, son!

I hate telling people to donate money (worst girl scout cookie salesgirl ever), but since you literally get a class out of this my conscience is clear. Especially because I know our classes are bomb. You can quote me on that.

Can’t wait to get back on the pole… I’m thinking of doing a little “last dance” vid at the old apartment, if my energy holds out.

Everybody staying healthy? I hope so. Did I mention you should wash your hands? Like, right now. Get up from your computer and find a sink, nasty! And for god’s sake, use the alcohol and your own rag in the studio. Never hurt anybody, and it certainly might help.

PS. Class tonight! Last week at the current studio, so pop in and say goodbye to our lovely space. Pole Spins is at 7:30pm and Intro (first timers!) is at 8:30. Sign up here!

Happy (and healthy!) twirls,

Cathy

Longest. Day. Ever.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

So, I don’t exactly pole for a living. I have two other jobs… a day job, and a no-free-time-after-my-day-job-job.

In case you’re curious, here’s a picture of my day so far: I worked my gym job from 6-10am (which means a 4:30am wake-up call), and now I’m at my day(re: writing/editing) job, where I just got the call that both my Intro (nooooob) and Pleaser (choreo/heels class) are filled up and on… and taking place back to back.

I’m super excited because classes have been slow lately… but wow, this definitely calls for a 9th or 10th cup of coffee today. Oy vey.

Oh well. I’ve got my heels. I’ve got the “fuck it all” attitude that only sleep deprivation can create. I’ve also got some really, really tight shorts today, so you know class is going to be good. BRING IT.

In other news: PROGRESS!!!! By my 3rd day of practice I’m hitting a static AND a spinning “Jenyne” climb really consistently, and I learned a new straight-leg sit (look ma, no hands! or feet!) that looks sooooo pretty and ballerina-y.

I need to take a picture and send it to my parents so that that’s the image they have of me dancing forever.

Anyway, I’m pretty sore and rather hideously banged up in the inner thigh and foot area, but, that just makes me feel scrappy… so let’s do this.

Anybody try the Ms. Butterfly climb? Hope everybody’s making mini breakthroughs this week.

Happy Twirls!
Cathy