So the less stressful dealing with Adobe Premiere gets, the more it seems I enjoy video assignments as homework. This one was quite fun!
The project was a 30-40 second bio video that either shows your likes and dislikes or a special skill.
I’ll bet you can guess which one I picked ;D
Me and my used-used AC (meaning, I got it used from somebody who also got it used) were not really enjoying this heat dome thing, so my pole was a bit of a slip and side. BUT, a few insights: Urban Decay No-Slick Makeup Setting Spray will allow you to sweat THROUGH your makeup (????) somehow but keep the makeup in place for the most part. I mean I was honestly dripping from the face and toweling myself with a rag, and my makeup looked good enough at the end of a three hour shoot that we decided to take advantage of the lights and nice set up to snap a few headshots. My application technique, if you’re curious, was basically: foundation–spray the shit out of my face–powder–spray the shit out of my face–blush/bronze/eyes–spray the shit out of my face–and then one more spritz at the end for luck. $28 well spent. I had a little wear around my hairline where I was aggressively rubbing with a towel, but otherwise, nothing moved.
These were taken at the end of an EXTREMELY long and sweaty day. Not bad, Urban Decay! (I wish they paid me, but they don’t.) Last shot is my favorite. I feel like I was really expressing myself! As always, I’m doing free advertising for Victoria’s Secret in this shirt. God damn it.
The other insight is that if you already know you’re not going to use the audio for a shoot, it’s really fun to bitch and complain about every pose while smiling đ
Overall, this was a fun weekend, and of COURSE I used the finished product to plug this blog because what else even matters????
Valentine’s is just around the corner, and if you have a bae, you’re probably doing what I do every time I hear a sexy song come on the radio: mentally rehearsing the sexy routine you MIGHT do on Vday but probably won’t because choreography is hard.
Here’s the good news though: a super sexy dance does NOT require fancy tricks. Bae will likely be just as impressed if you flip your hair and climb the pole than as if you did a bird of paradise or some double jointed Marion Crampe shit.
But I know how annoying it is to get some vague tips for HOW to do a routine and like… you don’t have any moves for a routine in your skill level. So please: as someone who once taught routines at bachelorette parties, let me get you on this.
You can use all of these moves or just a few of them and even repeat yourself. If you’re flowing and feeling yourself, it will look awesome, so don’t get too hung up on execution or difficulty. I’ll keep adding more throughout the week, and add some gifs of the moves so you can get the full affect.
I’ll also put my money where my mouth is on this and make a short routine out of these moves to prove it can be done–and that you can look damn good while doing it.
1. Walking
You can kill like 15 seconds of your song just by walking. Here’s how to make it worth watching:
-Start off of the pole. Key time-killing tip.
-Walk slow (duh), drag the toe of the foot you’re stepping with (HACK: this helps you keep your balance in heels or while exaggerating your ankle cross as you saunter).
-Pause to bend over your front leg, drag your hands up it, and flip your hair. (Slo-mo ben and snap, shoutout to Legally Blonde!)
-Do some more bending when you make it to the pole: when you’re about arm’s distance away, drag your hands down the pole as you bend over with straight legs and an arched back. Dip your head and roll it half-moon to the other side and SNAP that hair as you come back up. (Pro tip: definitely roll your head to the SIDE of the pole, lest you smack your face on the pole).
-Work a pole walk. Again, the focus here is WASTING TIME. Walk incredibly slow. Keep it interesting with hair and body touching. Again, bae will be enthralled if you are legitimately feeling yourself, don’t worry about popping tricks.
2. Half pirouette
These are great because they look fancy without the risks attached to a full pirouette (ie. getting stuck, losing your balance, hitting your leg on the pole–these are all things that would definitely happen to me with my luck during a sexy performance).
And here’s the other great thing: when you end up with your back on the pole, you can kill MORE TIME doing stuff you’ve already done because it looks different from a new angle. SCORE.
3. Spins
I highly recommend spacing these out. They’re  exciting in moderation, but clumped together they lose that affect. You also want to be very careful not to anticipate a spin while doing a sexy-ish dance: fully let yourself fall into it, and don’t give it away by sneaking an extra step, etc. The appeal here is having fully control of the spin and riding it all the way out to the floor. (Then woohoo!!!! Enjoy more time wasting opportunities on the ground! Roll around, tick tock yo booty, stripper push yourself up–so many possibilities).
4. Spins Pt. 2:Â
Get some contrast between spin 1 and spin 2, if you can. If you’re doing a front spin, try a back spin for #2–falling lady is nice and simple, and looks really different from a fireman or attitude spin.
5. Climb
Again, the appeal here is the control you have while. Don’t even worry if you can’t do much once you get up there: focus on climbing slowly, with a bit of body wave and some head rolls, if you can. Then sit for a bit, stretch out your legs if you can, and try some waves or see saws to get back down. Again, if you’re selling it with hips and hair, you do NOT need tricks.
Once on the ground, rinse and repeat the first three steps! You have half of a routine!
Awwww yeah, it’s that time of year again. And this time BeSpun’s Flow challenge is less about freestylin‘ and more about choreography, which I love.
Especially because it looks a lot less complicated that what I’m usually expected to learn in less than an hour of choreography classes on the pole đ
(if only y’all knew what this was SUPPOSED to look like… and there was another minute of totally blundered choreo after this. You’re killing me Tatiana, haha).
So, Flow Challenge. Are we insies? Please share any videos with me if you participate, because I’m a nosy motherf***er and I wanna see. Here’s a link to the first installment of the challenge, and make sure you follow their facebook group to get new vids as they come out!
Oh and then my music cut out at one point but I kept going, and when I watched the video later it was kinda funny. (Cee Lo’s Fool for You, and I’m linking to the version with Melonie Fiona because it’s da bomb dot com).
Today in Things Everybody But Me Probably Knows About: PoleFreaks.com has routines (with breakdowns!) that you can download for free after signing up for their newsletter. This is a pretty awesome alternative to pole choreo classes that many people might not have access to. It’s super fun to work on a routine at home, if you have a pole. And most of the moves appear to be beginner level, at first glance. Get on that!
They also have workouts that cost a small amount ($3.99) which is something I might look into when my class cards run out and Christmas shopping has got me hella poor.
Sorry if this came off as an advertisement–I genuinely just found out this existed and thought it seemed like an awesome resource. The blog looks interesting too!
Anyway, I know I’m being really naughty about writing pole posts, so here’s a party favor for stopping by:
SONGS I AM CURRENTLY DESPERATE TO POLE TO:
Again, this is kinda-sorta a half ass attempt at blog hopping. I need to get on that…
1. TeeFLii feat. 2 Chainz, 24 Hours
This is sexy, but upbeat enough to keep me choosing the cute creative moves over endless hairflips and body rolls.
2. James Blake, Retrograde
I saw one of my (belly dance) teachers perform to this recently and it actually brought tears to my eyes. Understated but gorgeous song.
3. Tinashe, 2 On
Yes this is all over the radio, but it’s so. fucking. smooth.
4. Jeremih, All the Time
Another one all over the radio, and yes, it’s filthy. Sorry. This is a good rolling on the floor jam.
5. Misery, Maroon 5
Okay clearly this one is as old as the hills, but it popped up on my ipod the other day and I realized it would be for some really dynamic, story-telling choreo.
OMG and one last thing–can we talk talk about Nicki Minaj’s chair choreo at the VMAs? I know everybody was all about Beyonce, but I’m way more into the moves from the Anaconda set. She was CRISP LIKE CELERY on those tick-tocks. Love it.
Here’s the video a couple of scrolls down on Jezebel because Amtrak thinks MTV.com will be porn.
Ah, more reasons to love pole. So. Freaking. Much.
I know a lot of people dance to mix up their work out routines (great idea, by the way!), but fitness has always been just a nice plus of pole for me.
I mean… I’m the type that gets really frustrated when my muscles start giving out because dang, I wanted to practice that one thing one more time!
But the weird thing is, it’s always super random muscles that get tired from pole. Last night I had to give laybacks a rest not because my legs were giving out, but because my big toe was cramping.
Seriously?
Seriously big toe? You’re going to play me like that?
As our instructors like to say though, you can’t ignore even the little muscle issues because a toe cramp can definitely screw with your leg muscles, which can in turn screw with your grip.
Which can then screw with your head. Because you landed on it. OH SNAP.
But seriously, cramps aside, here are weird muscle groups I’ve noticed I’m accidentally keeping in top condition:
1. Inner thighs
Okay this is actually pretty awesome. I remember being in middle school and finding out what “thunder thighs” meant for the first time, staring at my legs for a bit, then frantically doing leg lifts out of my mom’s Jane Fonda book.
Eventually though, I realized “spot reducing” is kinda BS, and resigned myself to a little inner thigh chub. NBD, right?
NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE AMAZING INNER THIGHS. Holy crap, trying not to die while hanging upside down from your thighs is like, the best training ever, apparently, because my inner thighs are looking boss. I mean, I guess I’ll take it?
2. Deltoids
This kinda pisses me off, because I assumed that pole dance would trick out my arms. Nope, just the shoulders.
In fact, the contrast between my super tight delts and loose, ever-so-floppy triceps just makes the whole arm situation look worse. Damn you, fiercely toned delts. Damn you to hell.
3. Calves
Can’t pretend to be angry about this. “Imaginary high heels” at all times (ie. standing on your toes) makes for some awesome, accidentally toned calves that look baller in real heels.
Downside: the shame of running in shoes with lifts in the back. The guy at the shoe store was horrified by by my apparent muscle imbalances, so that’s what I ended up with.*Shame*.
4. Forearms, wrists, and hands
This is kind of a do or die situation, really. After I weaned myself off Dry Hands (grip aid’s a hell of a drug!), my wrists and hands had to get stronger… because I couldn’t really spare any more skin rubbing off, and they must have known that.
I mean, I guess my forearms never really looked fat or anything, but I can the difference. I find myself giving very intimidating handshakes. Though that could also be the cray cray callouses I have, that are scary people. Whoops.
5. Obliques
ROCK ON, I love my new side abs! Kinda wish the rest of the abs would catch up, but I’ll take what I can get. I think it’s all the leg swinging, twisting, and wrapping, but I can actually see individual, Bat-man ablets happening along my rib cage. That’s DEFINITELY a pole perk.
6. Upper back
Holy god is all I can say about this. In addition to posture improvement, my upper back is mighty fine in the muscle department. I think it’s safe to say that this is where the majority of effort is coming from in pole, not arms (at least with spins).
7. Feet and ankles
Weird, right? But all the push offs, the climbing, the ankle hook make their mark. I’m hoping this helps with running, since the top of my feet tend to get tired. Is there a word for that muscle? Moving on.
8. Biceps
Okay this is not a weird muscle. But yes, climbing and inverting will tone the shit out of it.
Any weird places you’ve noticed firming up with pole?
How about muscles you WISH would get stronger, to help with dance?
I work with a lot of personal trainers at my day job so I’m thinking of asking them for help with a strength building routine. If they give me a baller work-out, I’ll be sure to share!
I recently got a request from a friend of mine asking for a crash course in pole.
She was having a pole-mergency, so to speak.
The request was pole-urgent.
Okay, I’ll stop.
It’s funny, there aren’t many situations in life where you desperately need to learn to dance on a pole in 5 days or less. But when you’re in one, nothing could be more important.
My friend, I should note, is a go-go dancer. She’s starting work at a new club on Saturday, and there will be poles. She wants to learn some tricks, she tells me, so she doesn’t look stupid. She’s hoping to learn a few flashy dance moves and spins.
As I suppress my urge to laugh maniacally (Sure, you’ll be doing spins and tricks by FRIDAY, lol problem bro?) I simultaneously take a walk down memory lane, to back when I started pole dancing, and my expectations were equally delusional.
You see, I’ve really only been dancing for about 8 months. The memories of starting out are quite vivid, because very recently, I was a pole-virgin. Okay I’m really stopping now.
For me, the most memorable part of the 3-4 months of misery that was learning pole the first time, was not just the skin peeling off my wrists, or the throbbing shoulder joints, or legs that were more black and blue than flesh colored… it was the sheer frustration of just not looking good on the pole.
For all you hater-ade drinkers out there, get some respect for strippers, because looking sexy on a pole is tough. Like, seriously tough. We’re talking mentally on par with learning the instruments in a cockpit, or geometry proofs, or playing a 5 piece drum kit, with both feet and hands working simultaneously. And that’s just the coordination part.
It doesn’t cover the physical challenges of balancing in 6-inch heels, supporting your full body weight with your arms and the strength of your grip, or holding your legs up, in aesthetically pleasing shapes, while spinning in circles.
Once you start learning little rules here and there, yes, it does get easier. Pointing your toes and arching your back–yes, that’s always going to be a good idea.
But for the first couple of months–more, depending on how often you get lessons and practice–you’re going to look like an awkward giraffe. I’m sorry, that’s just how it is. You’re not going to know what the hell to do with yourself, and by god, it will show.
They say with writing that you need to compose 10,000 words of utter crap before you write anything interesting, and friends, it’s no different with dancing. You will need to stumble, fall on your ass, and accidentally get too far from the pole (and end up holding it like you’re on the subway), all before you can look good.
But in the mean time, here are a few shortcuts you can use to look slightly competent. I intend to teach these to my friend, but honestly, they work for all levels.
In no particular order, try this shit!
1. Take your damn time
Nervous? Immediately do everything at half speed. I promise you, it feels like slow motion, but you’re moving much quicker than you think you are. This helps for two reasons: it forces you to engage with the moment (mmm, that steel feels sooooo smooth–say that to yourself in a porny voice in your head, I swear, it helps), the whole thing will look much hotter, with you looking ultra confident. And two, it will keep your from blowing through the 3 moves you know too quickly. Nobody wants to see your fairy spin 9 times.
2. Show your ass!
No, don’t pull your pants down or anything (unless your pole-mergency is a stripping audition), but when in doubt, face down, ass up! That’s the way we like to look competent at pole dancing! While you’re down there, touch your legs like you’ve shaved recently. Ha, ha. Pole dancing is lies.
3. Feet in, hips out
Get all bendy with it. If you’re holding the pole with your inside hand, get those feet nice and close to the base and drop your hip out. Feel that stretch? Good–you’re in sexy, bendy town. Now walk, one foot in front of the other, and sway those hips. When your arms starts getting low, swoop your hips out and around, and pivot your body toward the pole, switching out your arms. Walk in the opposite directions. Bonus points for a hair flip. That’s how you walk on a pole, bitch.
4. Caress that shit!
Here’s a cute move. Pause while walking, and face the pole with it just a little closer than arm’s length away from you. Trace it down with your hands while bending over with an arched back and your ass proudly blowing in the wind. When your head’s level with your hips, dip it around one side of the pole and flip it up on the other. If this is too complicated, just remember to caress the pole. It’s sexy, because Freud.
5. Fall
No, not off the pole. If that’s happening, wipe your hands, girl! I’m talking falling out and around the pole. Try this to practice the motion: standing about 6 inches away from the pole, grab it over your head with your inside arm (straight, always straight!), and lift your outside leg to form an X shape with your body. Then, push off a little with your inside foot and slowly, controlled-ly, fall forward and around the pole, using your body weight for momentum. Step and pivot to face forward again, and try it on the other side.
If nothing else, get comfortable with that motion–it’s the base of all spins–and mix it with other little moves. Fall out and around, then hike up (ie. hook the pole with your leg at hip level). Or when you pivot, keep turning until your back is flat against the pole, and throw in a little backwards grind. The possibilities are many. And if you’re following rule #1, hopefully you’ll have a few seconds to get creative!
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 