wale – The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial

10 more heartbreak-friendly pole songs, so get your tissues… and your Dry Hands!

Posted on June 12, 2013February 19, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

So, you guys apparently LOVE sad pole dance songs. Do y’all need a hug? 😦

I was in the car with my lil sis for many hours this weekend, listening to her Kelly Clarkson and Ne-Yo cds, and I heard some surprisingly awesome stuff (that’s also nice and family friendly, as opposed to all the French Montana, The Weeknd, and Drake I’ve been dancing to).

It could just be that her car has huge subwoofer things that make EVERYTHING sound epic, but wow, some of these songs were hittin’ my ears mighty fine, and I was doing some mental choreography for much of the trip.

Anyway, because you guys are all frantically searching “heartbreak pole songs” (yes, I check these things), let’s indulge in another sad playlist! Wheee!

This one is special though: this is special dance prescriptions for all of your I-Just-Got-Dumped needs. I got you, okay? Just keep dancing. We’ll get through this.

1. Kelly Clarkson, Addicted

I wish I were more of a polerina because I would Jenyne Butterfly the SHIT out of this.

For dancing through: utter helplessness whilst treading water in the deep end of your feelings. Just wait till you hear that beat drop…

2. Ne-Yo, Back to What You Know

Good “I FEEL BITTER” song.

For dancing through: feeling superior and above all this ish, duh!

3. Omarion Ft. Wale, M.I.A.

Revenge song.

For dancing through: break up? What break up? Fuck it, I don’t care!

4. Omarion, Ice Box

SPEAKING OF OMARION. Come on, I know this is old, but it’s a killer.

For dancing through: your need to psychologically dissect all the shittiness. (Don’t bother, you’ll never understand).

5. Jessie Ware, Running

This song makes me want to punch myself in the face. But that’s for personal reasons.

For dancing through: that freefall feeling when you run into him and lock eyes. And then you walk away thinking, “Back to square fucking one…”

6. Maroon 5, Misery

Upbeat despair!

For dancing through: when it’s been a few days and you can’t stand love songs, but you’re ready to put away the Taylor Swift for a while.

7. Maroon 5, One More Night

More Maroon 5, for the inevitable relapse.

For dancing through: your sexual needs. DON’T GO CRAWLING BACK THOUGH, OKAY.

8. LeToya Ft. Ludacris, Regret

“You left the best you had, baby don’t look so mad”

For dancing through: self-righteous outrage.

9. Diddy Dirty Money, Loving You No More

Awww, even Diddy can’t buy his way out of feeling crappy.

For dancing through: Reminding yourself of all the garbage you’ve been through. Yup, can’t really do this again after all.

10. Corinne Bailey Rae, Enchantment

Ugh, it’s so HARD to be responsible for your actions.

For dancing through: I CAN’T HELP MYSELF.

Bonus: Take Me In Your Arms, The Isley Brothers

Okay, you DEFINITELY can’t pole dance to this, and it’s kind of a pre-break up song, but it came on my ipod last night and I loved it, so, here ya go.

Take care of yourselves ladies! As my mom would tell you, you are WONDERFUL, don’t forget it. (She also likes to say “be the one that got away,” but that’s easier said than done). Love you mom! I’m being careful with inversions!

Also, come take my class tomorrow and if you look sad or break-uppy I will TOTALLY give you a hug. 6:30-8pm, and be prepared for some crunches. (The best revenge is looking fabulous, am I right?)

HT,

…What have I been DOING?!! Plus: 5 Heartbreak-Friendly Pole Songs!

Posted on April 23, 2013August 7, 2013 by Cathy Vandewater

I legit feel like I just woke up from a coma.

So, for the past couple of months, I was sorta kinda a little bit falling on my ass for this guy I work with.

With a girlfriend.

I KNOW.

I’m not really the cheating type so it was mostly just talking, a lot, but that didn’t really stop me from being a big dumb idiot with 3 kinds of obsessive thoughts, on a loop:

1. “OMG HE’S SO GREAT.”

2. “OMG THIS IS SO BAD.”

3. “OMG LET ME LISTEN TO MY IPOD AND DAYDREAM ALTERNATELY ABOUT HOW GREAT HE IS AND HOW BAD I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF FOR DOING THIS.”

(BONUS: “omg I should totally send him this song I’m listening to so he can know my feeeeeeeeeeeelings.”)

Did you throw up yet?

I did, a little.

Anyway, it’s all over now. I wanted to do things legit or not at all, and he was all, “LETS MAKE A DEAL”… the deal being, in his words, “I can give you 100% of me, part of the time.” (….<—-DAFUQ?!! Why would I ever sign up for that? I don’t do drugs, sir.)

So after about 48 hours of crying, I woke up this morning, totally fine, and looked around. And I thought… wait, what have I been doing with my time?

I haven’t written anything in months (and this is supposed to be my life calling).

I haven’t touched my pole.

I haven’t blogged. (But you already know this).

I haven’t even grocery shopped, judging by the carton of expired eggs in my fridge and NOTHING ELSE in there.

What I have been doing: TEXTING TEXTING TEXTING MOPING TEXTING TEXTING PLANNING MY WORK OUTFITS.

Jesus. Anyway, I’m suddenly horrified at how much time I’ve lost, so it’s time to get back on the dang wagon called OH WAIT I HAVE A LIFE, DURR.

(Sorry for all the capital letters, this is an emotional time, guys).

So, GOALS:

1. Several hours a week on the pole.

2. Spare time spent NOT at home looking at my phone (so, either gym or studio).

3. Something fun and interesting to cross train with (I’m thinking hoop maybe… or yoga, to get my inflexible ass slightly more flexible again).

Mainly, I just want to remember that there was a time I was doing all my awesome life stuff for ME… not to impress some douchebag who already has a girlfriend.

I want to kill it on the pole, I want fresh photos, I want to work out some choreo I can pull out when I feel like showing off, I want videos on youtube… I want to feel proud of myself again.

FTS. Back to me.

Anyway, I’m not going to lie, I’m totally still moping, so here are some awesome “FUCK DATING” songs to pole to. I know I certainly will.

1. Doin Me, Fantasia

This song is a nice mix of ass-kicking and positive. Also, “No more crying, going through hell–it’s so good, I’m loving myself”… this song makes me feel so much better.

2. Me, Myself and I, Beyonce

Okay so I’ve decided that what I’m doing is just quoting the line in the song that makes me tear up/instantly feel a little better: “Yeah, you hurt me but i learned a lot along the way/After all the rain you’ll see the sun come out again.” I hope so, Beyonce. I hope so.

3. Bad, Wale (Featuring Tiara Thomas)

This song makes feeling bitter seem cool. Also, it’s sufficiently sexy to pole to without being sex-positive enough that you get depressed over your lack of boneage. (Listen, this is the best the descriptions are getting today, go with it).

4. I Should Have Cheated, Keyshia Cole

KC, girl, you kill me. Please keep writing songs and singing them in a manner that makes me weep and feel stronger at the same time.

5. Switch, TLC

A reminder that if all else fails, you can always “switch and take his friend.”

Another pearl of wisdom: “I can’t trust a relationship with no trust and that’s a fact.”

Don’t take no mess from nobody, ladies. TLC says so.

Happy twirls! (and relationships, and work lives, and everything else it’s important to keep up too)

~Cathy

5 RnB Pole Songs That Won’t Make you Puke: Part 1.

Posted on January 17, 2013February 19, 2014 by Cathy Vandewater

(Sorry guys, headlines don’t like ampersands–Rnb=R&B)

Okay so challenge accepted re: my own difficulty finding pole music: I dug around my old Pandora likes and found several songs that aren’t about bitches n’ hoes. Mostly. Except for this first one:

1. Diced Pineapples, Rick Ross Ft. Drake, Wale

Okay, this song actually is gross (I think diced pineapples is a reference to the idea that certain fresh fruits make certain forbidden fruits taste better IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.) but whatever, I can’t get enough of Drake’s hook on here. Also, it’s very female positive! Or at least vagina positive!

My only complaints here are about Rick Ross’s nasty facial hair ruining yet another sexy music video. Seriously, they film in the gorgeous, sun drenched Caribbean and all I can think about is how musty his damn face forest must smell. Stop it, Rick Ross. Just stop it.

2. Adorn, Miguel

Uuuuuuugh Miguel. Okay, I know everybody already knows this song, but COME ON. It needs a holler. This dude makes such sexy music… Vixen, Quickie… Almost sexy enough to excuse the hi-top/pompador hybrid. Get it, Miguel.

3. Closer, Corinne Bailey Rae

Love her. +10 for a roller disco video theme.

4. I Only Want to Give It to You, Elle Varner (Featuring J. Cole)

This song makes me so happy inside that I literally walk differently when it comes on my ipod and smile at strangers, which might get me killed. Also, J. Cole.