rick ross

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

You know that feeling where you’ve been hitting the studio after very long days of work and drilling a routine for HOURS, and then come to a rehearsal two days before the show and find out you now how to do everything completely in the reverse of how you trained your body to memorize it?

Oh you don’t?

Here’s how it feels: IT FEELS LIKE FUCK EVERYTHING.

I would actually have been much better off if I had NOT practiced, because my muscle memory is just utterly bewildered. The changes happened last night. The show is tomorrow. I have both a day job and night job today, so I don’t even know when I can practice this. I just… I just want to go back to bed.

I know, I know, I’m being a big whiny baby and this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. It’s to be expected in a group performance. I get it. But I really hate looking like the idiot that’s lost on stage and I will be DAMNED if I do.

So here’s the plan: I am going to listen to this song on repeat all day, and dance the shit out of the routine in my head. I will run it in the bathroom mirror. I will do modified versions of the footwork while folding towels at work tonight. I AM COMING FOR YOU, new choreography.

Anyway, I can’t wait till the show’s over and I can hit the pole with my full attention again. Here’s what I’ve been saving up to jam to…

1. Beware, Big Sean

2. Let’s Talk, Omarion Ft. Biggie and Rick Ross

…bawse.

3. Swim Good, Frank Ocean

4. Enough Said, Aaliyah, Ft. Drake

5. Long Way to Go, Cassie

HT,

(Sorry guys, headlines don’t like ampersands–Rnb=R&B)

Okay so challenge accepted re: my own difficulty finding pole music: I dug around my old Pandora likes and found several songs that aren’t about bitches n’ hoes. Mostly. Except for this first one:

1. Diced Pineapples, Rick Ross Ft. Drake, Wale

Okay, this song actually is gross (I think diced pineapples is a reference to the idea that certain fresh fruits make certain forbidden fruits taste better IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.) but whatever, I can’t get enough of Drake’s hook on here. Also, it’s very female positive! Or at least vagina positive!

My only complaints here are about Rick Ross’s nasty facial hair ruining yet another sexy music video. Seriously, they film in the gorgeous, sun drenched Caribbean and all I can think about is how musty his damn face forest must smell. Stop it, Rick Ross. Just stop it.

2. Adorn, Miguel

Uuuuuuugh Miguel. Okay, I know everybody already knows this song, but COME ON. It needs a holler. This dude makes such sexy music… Vixen, Quickie… Almost sexy enough to excuse the hi-top/pompador hybrid. Get it, Miguel.

3. Closer, Corinne Bailey Rae

Love her. +10 for a roller disco video theme.

4. I Only Want to Give It to You, Elle Varner (Featuring J. Cole)

This song makes me so happy inside that I literally walk differently when it comes on my ipod and smile at strangers, which might get me killed. Also, J. Cole.