15 Pole Dance Songs that Are *Sensual* But Not Overtly Sexual (2024)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

As an instructor, I’m a bit pickier with my music than I am when dancing on my own. While I love *vibes*, it’s hard to ignore demeaning lyrics in songs with great beats that I’d otherwise love to share with students. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m promoting substance abuse or devaluing/objectifying yourself when I play this music, and I don’t want students to associate pole with that kind of negativity.

So through very scientific means (starting a Pandora station for every song I remotely like to dance to), here are a few songs I’ve found that I love to play for student freestyle time. They’re sensual and vibey, but mostly low on sex or drugs references. (The nasty songs will have to be a separate post, ha).

Let me know if you’d dance to this, and share any suggestions or favorite songs below!

1. Like I Want You, Giveon

I love Giveon for groovy, vibey music that captures that has a kind of torch-song longing mood. Bonus points for smooth vocals and an excellent BPM.

2. Rewind, Ravyn Lanae

Slightly more upbeat, this song has whispery sweet, feminine vocals and in interesting beat with lots of details to create accent movements with.

3. I Want You Around, Snoh Aalegra

Clean and bright, this bass-heavy track would pair well with smooth, exotic-style flow.

4. Last Dance, Leisure

I LOVE Leisure for pole. This is one of my favorite songs. They have funk and disco-inspired beats with understated, indie-feeling vocals that allow for lots of variation in speed, tempo, and accent moments. Just, *chef’s kiss,* mellow perfection.

5. Ideal Woman, Celeste

This is a slow, gooey guitar-driven R&B song with lowkey feminist edge to it. Love it for a fierce, take-your-time freestyle that feels more about power and control than enticing anyone.

6. So Young, Portugal the Man

Indie vibes, syncopated beat, groovy vibes.

7. Best Mistake (Slowed Reverb Version), Ariana Grande

I love this song anyway, but slowed down, it’s soulful, sad, moody, and the perfect tempo.

8. Baby Powder, Jenevieve

This has the beat of nasty 90s R&B but with sweet vocals and high standards.

9. Come Gimme Love, King Sis

Upbeat and smooth, this song is flirty but PG.

10. My Love Mind All Mine, Mitski

Okay okay, you’ve heard this a million times on TikTok, but the mellow, melancholy vibe of this song and it’s short length make it perfect for a relaxed, easy-going closing freestyle.

11. Wicked Games (Clean), Kiana Lede

Slow, vibey, and angsty as hell, this song has lots of tempo-change and accent opportunities.

12. My Heart Bleeds, Rhye

Rhye makes really spare sounding music rife with sexual tension. Vibes!

13. Good Thing, Kehlani

Bombshell theme song! This one is upbeat, unapologetic, and would be great to choreograph to. Plus you can’t beat the message..

14. Be More, Stephen Sanchez

If you’re a fan of emotional, retro sounds, you might like Stephen Sanchez. It has the feel of 60s torch songs with a modern, restrained singing style.

15. All Over You, Leisure

I really like Leisure, okay?!

So that’s the list! What did you thing–would you or do you already dance to these? I have a few NSFW songs to share too, so that will have to be a follow up post.

See you in class!

-Cathy

Music Monday: Not Afraid Anymore, Halsey

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

 

Yes it’s a cliche to pole to a song from 50 Shades Darker (Grey? Grai? Whatever, it’s technically from the “Darker” film anyway).

Cliches exist for a reason, and as shitty as these movies are, the soundtracks are pretty on point. Exhibit A is “Not Afraid Anymore” which is dark, moody, dangerous, and… hot.

Music Monday: Amy Winehouse in Six Songs

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Holy crap, I just looked up and realized Amy Winehouse has been gone for 5 years.

Damn.amy 3

Amy was The Ideal Woman for me as sensitive 20 year old enrolled in art school (circa 2006). The smoky voice, the tattoos, the black and white videos, the sass and sadness in equal amounts… She had the tough exterior I always wanted, with all the vulnerability I always seemed to be feeling.

Listening to her now, the music and persona feel like the perfect match for pole: gritty but pretty; painful but graceful.

I’m sure I’ve included some of her songs in playlist posts before, but I’m on a listening kick today and wanted to share some of my favorite songs of hers to freestyle to.

Things to note:

  • How rare is it that we hear a female vocalist expressing herself on matters of sex and men without seeming to be performing some bizarre male gaze version of sexuality? I look at Ariana Grande with her huge hair and tiny shorts batting her plastic-ass lashes and talking about being a dangerous woman and I’m like…. k. Amy always seemed to own herself and her point of view in songs. amy
  • Actual instruments (!!!). My god… I appreciate this so much more after years of electronica crap.
  • The warmth and soulfulness in dat voice. Dat VOICE. It sounds like a cup of coffee and a cigarette on a partially sunlit balcony in London at 6am. Which is probably not far off from the manner in which these songs were recorded, now that I think of it.
  • Her lyrics have No Time For Your Bullshit. They can start out vulnerable but they always find strength at some point. Amy can be heartbroken in her songs and at the same time still absolutely not have the time. For. Your. Bullshit.

You have to love it.

Okay now that you’re ready, here are my favorites songs:

1. Unholy War

God this song is fucking dark. Excellent jam for a moody freestyle.

2. Help Yourself

Sass and a relaxed beat. Sunday freestyle’ for the win.

3. Me & Mr. Jones

What kind of fuckery is this? This song is jazzy and dope.

3. Love is a Losing Game

Vulnerable, emotional, ethereal, beautiful. Perfect for lyrical choreo.

4. Round Midnight

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS. Juicy AF. Are you rolling around on your floor yet because you should be.

5. Take the Box

Delicate at first—but it gets tougher and more soulful as the lyrics get angry. Nice emotional range to this one.

6. Wake Up Alone

Devastating. Let’s finish this up with something live:

RIP, Amy.

Got a favorite AW song I’m forgetting? Drop it below.

amy 2

The Weekend, As You Are… (#MusicMondayOnAWednesday but also how I’m feeling)

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Hey y’all!

So I was looking at Nina’s FEATURED spot on this blog and had a dumb realization: other people are poling on social media with hashtags and ish, and I’m just completely missing it.

Like… #realpole is a thing. #realpole, where have you been all my life?!!! This hashtag (for other uninformed people like myself) is for people showing the pole struggle… which is 99.9% of pole, if we’re being honest. So like, that wiggling you do to get into a leg hang, flexed feet, fear faces… it’s all there.

It’s my own damn fault for avoiding pole-related social media and missing this, I guess, and that’s mighty ironic because I usually avoid pole social media to escape the FOMO and pressure to be kicking my own head upside down while hanging from my pinkie toe. But lo and behold—there was a movement there for me the whole time!

I fully encourage you all to post and share your sweet, sweet struggle with #realpole because I’ll be looking and resharing. Also, what other hashtags am I missing? And while you’re at it, please let me follow you on IG/Twitter because I want non-pole celebrity pole peeps to interact with. Share your handle in the comments!

Anyway here’s my song (and mood) for this non-Monday music Monday post!

Music Mondays: Like a Fool, Kiera Knightley

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Yes THAT Kiera Knightley. She can sing! Who knew!

I just saw Begin Again, and boring gender and Adam Levine stereotypes aside (he really does play exactly who we all expect him to be in person), this was a cute movie with lots of great music. Watch Instantly on Netflix, DO IT.

Anyway this is a sweet little number that kinda devastated me (and aforementioned douchebag Adam Levine) in the context of the movie, and  I would definitely do some faux-sweet choreo to it.

Below are also two versions of Oscar-nominated “Lost Stars” (also on the soundtrack), just cause I like ’em!

(The order is Adam Levine’s version first and then Kiera’s, but please know–again, in the context of the movie–that Kiera’s came first because noted douchebag Adam Levine STOLE HER SONG. That douchebag.)

Music Mondays: The Devlin’s, World Outside

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Do you guys remember when Natalie Portman was a stripper and popped what looked damn near a center split in Closer?

I do. Here’s some grungy Natalie realness to kick off a rainy Monday:

Did anybody go to the Aera show last Friday? I was there and seated uncomfortably close.

Bae got his foot (only one) washed as part of the show and I could smell Sam Doblick’s hair. CLOSE. SERIOUSLY CLOSE.  (His hair smelled really, really good btw. #adonisstatus).

This is my foot literally on the stage before the show.

This show… this show was just boss AF. I noticed so many more details being close and seeing this a second time because I wasn’t as concerned with plot points, who was who, etc.  Even bae noticed how the dancers stayed in character even in the wings, and how gorgeous the acro work was (we couldn’t really see anything that happened on the floor from where we sat last time, and wow, did we miss a lot). The grace and poise was utter perfection. Can’t wait to catch another show from these guys!

But that was Friday. Saturday, I had a show with Bellyqueen in scenic New Jersey! Only being partially snarky about this because we DID actually get to side outside and eat snacks in the sunshine under a tree.

Pre-show grind with the Fire Blossoms!

It was pretty fun! We did the same choreo we’ve been working on (and experiencing technical difficulty in rehearsals with. Ahem).

And then, I swear to god, after 10 years of trying: I put on my own false eyelashes without resorting to smearing the glue directly onto my eyelids and just mashing them on. Proud moment. I never remember to take a pic of my hard makeup work until after the show when I’m sweaty and gross so this was taken literally on the way to the stage 6 minutes before showtime.

 

 Last random thought: today’s Teacher Appreciation day so be sure to be extra nice to your pole instructors! They make some hard shit look easy AF, be kind to them, maybe bring them a Luna bar or a bottle of Dry Hands or something.