learn to pole dance

Today in Things Everybody But Me Probably Knows About: PoleFreaks.com has routines (with breakdowns!) that you can download for free after signing up for their newsletter. This is a pretty awesome alternative to pole choreo classes that many people might not have access to. It’s super fun to work on a routine at home, if you have a pole. And most of the moves appear to be beginner level, at first glance. Get on that!

They also have workouts that cost a small amount ($3.99) which is something I might look into when my class cards run out and Christmas shopping has got me hella poor.

Sorry if this came off as an advertisement–I genuinely just found out this existed and thought it seemed like an awesome resource. The blog looks interesting too!

Anyway, I know I’m being really naughty about writing pole posts, so here’s a party favor for stopping by:

SONGS I AM CURRENTLY DESPERATE TO POLE TO:

Again, this is kinda-sorta a half ass attempt at blog hopping. I need to get on that…

1. TeeFLii feat. 2 Chainz, 24 Hours

This is sexy, but upbeat enough to keep me choosing the cute creative moves over endless hairflips and body rolls.

2. James Blake, Retrograde

I saw one of my (belly dance) teachers perform to this recently and it actually brought tears to my eyes. Understated but gorgeous song.

3. Tinashe, 2 On

Yes this is all over the radio, but it’s so. fucking. smooth.

4. Jeremih, All the Time

Another one all over the radio, and yes, it’s filthy. Sorry. This is a good rolling on the floor jam.

5. Misery, Maroon 5

Okay clearly this one is as old as the hills, but it popped up on my ipod the other day and I realized it would be for some really dynamic, story-telling choreo.

OMG and one last thing–can we talk talk about Nicki Minaj’s chair choreo at the VMAs? I know everybody was all about Beyonce, but I’m way more into the moves from the Anaconda set. She was CRISP LIKE CELERY on those tick-tocks. Love it.

Here’s the video a couple of scrolls down on Jezebel because Amtrak thinks MTV.com will be porn.

<3<3<3

(Sorry guys, headlines don’t like ampersands–Rnb=R&B)

Okay so challenge accepted re: my own difficulty finding pole music: I dug around my old Pandora likes and found several songs that aren’t about bitches n’ hoes. Mostly. Except for this first one:

1. Diced Pineapples, Rick Ross Ft. Drake, Wale

Okay, this song actually is gross (I think diced pineapples is a reference to the idea that certain fresh fruits make certain forbidden fruits taste better IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.) but whatever, I can’t get enough of Drake’s hook on here. Also, it’s very female positive! Or at least vagina positive!

My only complaints here are about Rick Ross’s nasty facial hair ruining yet another sexy music video. Seriously, they film in the gorgeous, sun drenched Caribbean and all I can think about is how musty his damn face forest must smell. Stop it, Rick Ross. Just stop it.

2. Adorn, Miguel

Uuuuuuugh Miguel. Okay, I know everybody already knows this song, but COME ON. It needs a holler. This dude makes such sexy music… Vixen, Quickie… Almost sexy enough to excuse the hi-top/pompador hybrid. Get it, Miguel.

3. Closer, Corinne Bailey Rae

Love her. +10 for a roller disco video theme.

4. I Only Want to Give It to You, Elle Varner (Featuring J. Cole)

This song makes me so happy inside that I literally walk differently when it comes on my ipod and smile at strangers, which might get me killed. Also, J. Cole.