Why does everything look crappier on stage than it does in the studio?!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

ImageIs it a matter of context? Lighting? The costumes? The camera taking the photos?

I’ve been working out 5 days a week for a few months now, and the night of this show, I remember feeling really good, totally comfortable in my costume, but a little worried that my makeup was too heavy. During the actual dance I felt connected to the music, fierce and emotive in my facial expressions, and 100% in the moment. Muscle memory is a wonderful thing.

And then I was tagged in photos from the show and I just see BLECHHHHHHH. Why am I barefaced?! Dead in the eyes? And don’t even get me started on body stuff. I’m actually self-conscious now that my arms are too… big. Not even flabby or anything, just, large. Over-sized. Not delicate. 

Am I fucked in the head? Because it’s super annoying to spend so much time busting your ass learning choreo, training to stay in shape, and primping for a show only to dread photo-evidence of it forever afterward.

Should I get ribs removed and arm liposuction? Should I just stop performing? 

Yeah yeah, I already know the answer: I just need get over it and roll on. But please someone, commiserate with me. What is it about performing that makes everything seem hopelessly not good enough?Image

Body paranoia aside, I’m pretty damn excited that we got to do a $40-a-ticket show in New York City on a REAL STAGE with REAL LIGHTING. I’ll try to be less of a brat here, because wow, what an opportunity. And I’m so proud of our group!! We really did rally and do a great show, despite last minute choreo and blocking changes. #pros 😉

In terms of pole, though, I can’t imagine doing this someday alone, in a smaller costume, and with literally much higher stakes (if you screw up you FALL, ahhhh). Even without the body stuff (EEK, really, in a bikini?!!) the pole adds so many new variables to things that can go wrong. The hand sweat alone… I can’t even. 

Ladies who have done shows, are you prone to photo-induced mini breakdowns? How did you get over it? Do you ever have those feelings right before a show that your choreo is boring and no one should watch it? (I have this thought before EVERY show. Not helpful, brain).

<3<3<3

I’m aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive (as in, no, I didn’t die (!!))

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Quick, enjoy this clip of 1980’s Xanadu while I come up with some stuff to tell you about!

I hope that was sufficiently weird for everyone.

So. HAI!!! I MISSED YOU GUYS!!!

You know how sometimes you go through periods of talking about stuff and not really doing it, and then you go periods of doing stuff and not really talking about it?

I have been doing the latter, and you guys would be SO proud of me. I feel like an actual… dancer. This is sort of what my schedule has been like (post day-job, naturally): 

Mondays: 2 hours belly dance (class and a Fireblossom’s rehearsal)

Tuesday: Night job… with a little stretching and Fireblossom’s routine running as soon as my shift is up (I work in a gym with small dance studio area)

Wednesday: 3 hours Bellyqueen rehearsal (for the upcoming Silk Roads show), followed by an hour of pole class

Thursday: Night class! I’m learning Digital Marketing, you guys! No dancing 😦

Friday: 3 hours Bellyqueen rehearsal, an hour of pole class

Saturday: Flexibility class, pole class, Fireblossoms routine drilling with K

Sunday: Pole class, hoop class, hula hoop class (this is my work study day so I hang out at the studio for several glorious hours and sneak into classes, muhahahaha)

…And then I wake up very sore on Monday and do it all over again. Oh and I’ve been RUNNING. Wat?!!! I truly have no idea what’s gotten into me lately. I just feel very in my body and out of my head lately. It’s cool.

Anyway, here’s some stuff I learned about constantly exercising:

1. Stretching after is MANDATORY

I’m not really a huge fan of stretching before a workout unless it’s part of an official warm up. But after, when I’m all warm, and I know I’m gonna be stiff for the next very full day of stuff tomorrow? You bet your ass I’m stretching. Also, not stretching when you’re all warm and don’t have to be anywhere? Wasted flexibility-building opportunity.

2. Eating is TOTALLY mandatory

I started noticing that two hours into Bellyqueen’s 3 hour rehearsals is impromptu dancer lunch time… and I was the only one not eating while everybody else was busting out sandwiches and fruit salads n’shit. These girls dance for a living, so I think it’s safe to take their cue on making time to fuel up.

3. You really have to listen to your body

I have so much physical stuff going on that I really can’t afford to get injured right now. I’m learning to take my ego out of it and walk away from a pole move if I can feel I’m not getting it and it’s straining the wrong places. You can always try again tomorrow, it’s not that serious. And it’s certainly not worth having an arm or a leg out of commission for a week.

So what has everybody else been up to?! Any new developments? I’m working on my extended butterfly, flying choppers (yes, the ones that gave me a car crash bruise last year), some spin combos, and my archnemesis, aerial choppers (I think I finally have it on my left side, it’s just… very slow). I’m also trying to trap/shoulder-mount out of inverts instead of sliding to help build those core muscles up and get more control. So far so good!

Anyway, FILL ME IN–what’s new?

XOXO,

Cathy

“Too late to back out now!”

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

Oy, first big belly dance show coming up since the spring, and also the debut of my New Costume.

,,,which I have not put on since my mom sewed a new back into it (because flashing people is bad, thanks mom!), since I am scared. I’m eyeing it right now. It’s sitting in the corner, bein’ all green and sparkly and mocking me.

Some people in pole and belly dance (actually, scratch that, MOST people) completely live for the costumes. Both are glamorous, girly types of dance, with plenty of sparkles and boob-age allowed (nay, DEMANDED). So naturally, belly and pole alike tend to attract girly-girls who tweak out on that stuff. Cool, fine. Not me.

I am terrorized by it.

I’m always having a blast and totally confident right up until I have to put on the costume, and them I’m all, can’t I just wear what I practice in? Please? PLEAAAAASE?I’m kind of dreading the day where I’ll have to graduate to poling in a sports bra for the extra grip. Ugh.

Anyway, big show is WEDNESDAY. K and I always do a Final Video of where we’re at when we practice, so here is is… minus the dancing, because that ish is top secret! You’ll have to come to the show to see it 😉

How do you guys feel about costumes or cute dance gear altogether? I feel like a lot of girls get a charge from it, like Superwoman in her cape. It’s always kind of startling for me though, because it’s a huge reminder that PEOPLE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME. Ahhh. Spooky.

Okay, g/g ignore my costume and keep the dream alive via ignorance that I will look a certain way in it. Wish me luck for Wednesday!!

HT,

Cathy