biggie

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

You know that feeling where you’ve been hitting the studio after very long days of work and drilling a routine for HOURS, and then come to a rehearsal two days before the show and find out you now how to do everything completely in the reverse of how you trained your body to memorize it?

Oh you don’t?

Here’s how it feels: IT FEELS LIKE FUCK EVERYTHING.

I would actually have been much better off if I had NOT practiced, because my muscle memory is just utterly bewildered. The changes happened last night. The show is tomorrow. I have both a day job and night job today, so I don’t even know when I can practice this. I just… I just want to go back to bed.

I know, I know, I’m being a big whiny baby and this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. It’s to be expected in a group performance. I get it. But I really hate looking like the idiot that’s lost on stage and I will be DAMNED if I do.

So here’s the plan: I am going to listen to this song on repeat all day, and dance the shit out of the routine in my head. I will run it in the bathroom mirror. I will do modified versions of the footwork while folding towels at work tonight. I AM COMING FOR YOU, new choreography.

Anyway, I can’t wait till the show’s over and I can hit the pole with my full attention again. Here’s what I’ve been saving up to jam to…

1. Beware, Big Sean

2. Let’s Talk, Omarion Ft. Biggie and Rick Ross

…bawse.

3. Swim Good, Frank Ocean

4. Enough Said, Aaliyah, Ft. Drake

5. Long Way to Go, Cassie

HT,

1. Enough of No Love, Keyshia Cole

I love me some KC. This chick is the queen of songs you can dance to while simultaneously crying a little.

2. Outside, The Weeknd

Is this technically R&B? Don’t know. Don’t care. The Weeknd, I’m not even going to complain that you’re missing an “e.” That’s how hot you are.

3. F***ing You Tonight, Biggie

Okay, so you know there’s always one that breaks the rules on misogynism… but come on, this is vintage. And it’s so smooth, guys. So very, very smooth.

4. Touch Me, Tease Me, Case

Like, was 1996 a really good year for me or something? I don’t know, but music from this era always makes me feel good. More vintage! Also, gotta love an Isaac Mizrahi shout out.