aaliyah

So, it’s been a strange week.

-I was in Boston, which was GREAT.

-I met a boy, which was okay, and then great, and then meh.

-I got a fantastic opportunity to work on a Bellyqueen show coming up (which is an unbelievable learning experience–BALANCING A CANE ON MY HEAD LIKE A BOSS–but it’s a 6 hour weekly commitment).

And thus… I’ve made it to exactly 2 pole classes in two weeks. 😐

misc-nothing-to-do-here-l

Oh, and then to put a cherry on top of a banner week, in the last two minutes of my 10 hour work day at my gym job over the weekend, I opened a washing machine full of our towels and discovered someone had shit on them.

Like literally.

Somebody shit on the towels.

I have a lot of questions about this, but mainly the situation just made me instantly really tired. Like, seriously? So close to going home and now I have to figure out what to do with an arm full of wet, shitty towels?

(We threw them away, in case you were wondering. But not before I had an existential moment in the laundry room, just staring at them with my mouth open).

Anyway, I’m really focused on learning tons of new choreo for the Bellyqueen show, working extra hours at my nights-and-weekends-job (so I can afford the time off from my day job that the show rehearsals require), and as much as I want to be in the pole studio I’m just so… exhausted. I caaaaaaaaaan’t.

The one class I took last week (SIX DAYS AGO… I HAVE NOT TOUCHED A POLE IN SIX DAYS) was great, but I made it suck because I was mentally checked out. Ie. not trying very hard, giving up quickly, being kind of a whiny pain in the ass… (“it huuuuuuuurts!”)

It’s just that when I’m tired, pole feels felt like one more item to tick on my to-do list before I can watch SATC with a sandwich and collapse.

(NB: My desire to watch SATC all the time when I’m burnt out is extra ironic because Chris Noth lives in the building I work at. So I’ll just look at him like GOD CHRIS NOTH CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE SO I CAN GO HOME AND WATCH YOU HURT SARAH JESSICA PARKER’S FEELINGS???). Eh. I just want what I want, okay?

Bad attitude, I know.

And yet I haven’t adjusted it. Even now I’m like lol I won’t be able to do a push up in a week if I keep this up, too bad, guess I won’t change anything I’m doing! SANDWICHES AND NETFLIX PLS.

Maybe I just need a lil’ more rest and I’ll be back in the game soon. I hope. If not, someone please help force me 😐

The funny thing is, I’m still poling in my head constantly and finding lots of great new music (playlist coming soon). So until then, I HEARD THIS SONG AND I CAN’T WAIT TO FLOW TO IT WHEN I GET MY ACT TOGETHER: (ps. is it just me or is Marvin Gaye having a moment?)

Happy twirls!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

You know that feeling where you’ve been hitting the studio after very long days of work and drilling a routine for HOURS, and then come to a rehearsal two days before the show and find out you now how to do everything completely in the reverse of how you trained your body to memorize it?

Oh you don’t?

Here’s how it feels: IT FEELS LIKE FUCK EVERYTHING.

I would actually have been much better off if I had NOT practiced, because my muscle memory is just utterly bewildered. The changes happened last night. The show is tomorrow. I have both a day job and night job today, so I don’t even know when I can practice this. I just… I just want to go back to bed.

I know, I know, I’m being a big whiny baby and this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. It’s to be expected in a group performance. I get it. But I really hate looking like the idiot that’s lost on stage and I will be DAMNED if I do.

So here’s the plan: I am going to listen to this song on repeat all day, and dance the shit out of the routine in my head. I will run it in the bathroom mirror. I will do modified versions of the footwork while folding towels at work tonight. I AM COMING FOR YOU, new choreography.

Anyway, I can’t wait till the show’s over and I can hit the pole with my full attention again. Here’s what I’ve been saving up to jam to…

1. Beware, Big Sean