Some spacing issues buuuuut, not bad for how nervous we were! 😀
Really excited for the next show because our new choreo is inspired by the gang (lite) movie The Warriors, and our custom is basically tribal fusion street wear (re: black pants and BASEBALL CAPS, wheeeee). Of course I was thrilled about this because it’s just the excuse I needed to own snapback… which I immediately bought from a street vendor two blocks away from the studio on the way home from rehearsal. THAT IS HOW EXCITED I WAS TO BUY A SNAPBACK.
It feels really good to finally own some Brooklyn swag because I’ve earned it. This fall marks my 8th anniversary in BK… and I have yet to live in Williamsburg, Prospect Park, or Park Slope! (So far it’s been Bed Stuy (2 places), Clinton Hill, Fort Greene (but like, the bad side of Myrtle), Sunset Park/Borough Park (where I famously got groped), and finally, Bay Ridge).
Oh, this is off topic, but ALSO on my home last night (after my snapback purchase) I saw this severely-injured looking mannequin at a TopShop in Soho. Like, what happened here?
It’s not 1994 anymore, why are we still seeing Skeletors in store windows? Just saying.
I don’t know about you guys, but I really can’t afford their normal $40/1.5 hour class rate, so I am ALL OVER IT.
Also, out of towners–they do “staycation” packages where you can train as much as you want during a weeklong visit, and THAT is on sale too. Worth looking into!
Couple of things: 1. I made an invert video even though I’ve been hella sick! I shot it 10 minutes before I ran out the door last night and haven’t looked at it since, so it might be crap at worst and will definitely need editing/uploading at best. So sit tight!
2. Oooooooh my god, dating.
Dating.
I have been rejected a lot in my life. Most recently, twice in the past month–both times by guys I had two great dates with and had tentatively set up a third with. Until they changed their minds.
Guy #1 told me he was “emotionally unavailable right now.” Okay, fine, whatever. But he elaborates, and eventually reveals that not only is he boning another person right now, he did so the night/morning of our last date. #class. This hasn’t stopped him from trying to backpedal a few days later with, “We’re in an open relationship–but she wants me to date!” Uh, yeah. I’ll think about it.
Guy #2 had asked me out again after an awesome 2nd date, but then decided he was too busy with work and that maybe we weren’t compatible. Again, fine. Whatever. Did this hurt my feelings? Yes. Do I understand that this type of thing is out of my control and I just have to eat it? Yes.
It would have been fine if we left it there. But no, we didn’t. He went on to explain that the reason we were incompatible was that he believed that I wanted something “serious” and he did not.
This isn’t quite fair because I don’t even know him enough to know whether I want to be “serious” with him, but I said “okay” to it because ideally, I guess I do want a real relationship. So fine.
And then he invited me over.
Like, 10 minutes after explaining why he doesn’t want to date me.
This is bizarre and offensive for many reasons–the most pressing of which: he had just dumped me, and I had just finished crying over it (I’m very sensitive about this stuff at this point, leave me alone).
I told him I thought this was offensive (being upfront, heyo), and after some feeble backpedaling, he called me. I was disgusted with the entire situation at that point, so I did not pick up.
What felt like several minutes later, my phone buzzed. I had a voicemail. A long, long voicemail.
Again, too disgusted with the situation to deal with it at the time, I listened to it on my way to the laundromat the next day. And oh. My. God.
It takes a lot to piss me off to the point where I will go to the trouble of learning how to turn a voicemail into an mp4 file, and then how to turn an mp4 file into a video format that YouTube or Facebook will accept, so trust: this voicemail really, really pissed me off.
I’ll go ahead and let it speak for itself. But remember: this guy had just dumped me. Then he asked me to come over to his house at 10pm on a Friday (I have never been to his house and I don’t even know where he lives). Then, after reading texts where I explicitly told him off for confusing me with a hooker, THIS is what he had to say:
So, dating.
Invert video coming soon, hope y’all had a better weekend than I did!
Also, feel free to commiserate if you’ve had close encounters of a douche kind, it always makes me feel better.
OH, totally unrelated but important: I saw an incredible fusion bellydance to this song last night and I walked three subway stops out of my way getting home from the show so I could listen to it on YouTube and mentally choreograph. That’s how you know it’s good. Enjoy!
I have been getting some awesome fan mail lately, which makes me wonder if I’ve been accidentally sending out “I feel like I don’t have anything to offer anyone now that I’m not teaching anymore, might as well just give up on this blog” vibes and y’all just happen to be lovely supportive people like that.
One of my first (and slightly lopsided) choppers! Note the straight arms, dropped head/upper body, and lifted hips.
But THIS ONE got me so excited, because it asked for my help.
(I am nothing if not DESPERATE TO HELP, especially when “helping” involves me being a know it all. Like, you all know me by now, right? This is my jam.)
So anyway here’s a question I got from Sharay:
“I am having so much trouble inverting and doing an open v spin. Am i too heavy? Do you have any tips? Thanks so much!”
First things first (I’m the rilllllest): you are not too heavy.
Why do we always assume that something is mortally wrong with us when we can’t do something right away? This reminds me of being an 11 year old in 1997 when every piece of clothing was cropped and made of lycra and I remember thinking “I AM JUST SO FAT AND WRONG, I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO GET DRESSED.” Now I’m all LOL, it’s because I was going to turn out all curvy and bangin’, and high-waisted side-zip clam diggers look good on no one.
But that was a tangent.
Sharay, you are not too heavy. Just saying.
OKAY, so from there, please know that inverts are fucking hard. It took me about a year to get mine, and even then, it was sporadic (could do it one day, not the next) for a few months. I still can’t aerial invert, but a large part of that is simply not attempting to.
Assuming you ARE attempting (which please, keep doing that, you’re getting stronger every time you try and fail, trust), here’s some stuff that might be messing you up:
1. You are not allowing your upper body to tip back
This one gets a LOT of people. It’s like you want to keep your head up so you can see yourself chopper, but duh, no one can anatomically get their legs over their heads unless their heads drop. Once you crunch your legs to your chest, let your arms straighten and TIP YOUR UPPER BODY BACK so that your head is lower than your hips. Scary? Fuck yes, this is terrifying, which is probably why your body may not be letting you do it. Get a patient, ballsy spotter who’s not afraid to position you correctly and get used to this position. You’re gonna spend a lot of time here when you get your invert!
2. Your arms are too high
You should be grabbing the pole about chest level, maybe a tad higher, while you’re standing (before attempting an invert). But if you let your hands creep up to eye level or worse, your arms will already be straight, and it will be impossible for you to drop your upper body once you crunch your legs in (see above).
3. You’re not pushing your hips up like your life depends on it
Do me a favor. Next time you’re near a pole, lay down next to it with the pole tucked into one of your armpits. Grab it with both hands as you would for any invert, then slowly draw your knees to your chest. THEN, push up from your hips/butt and open into a V as your booty lifts off the ground. Try it a few times slowly, both in and out. (This is conditioning by the way, so feel good about that!). Is inverting 80% abs? Yes. But that little hip/booty bump is what gets you up and over. And I have a feeling that’s where you might be stuck. So practice this exercise to get comfortable with the movement before you’re all OMG I’M TRYING TO INVERT AND THIS IS HARD AND TOTALLY DISORIENTING.
I’m too lazy now, but let me see if I can shoot a quick vid to visually illustrate these issues. Anybody else want to weigh in? Community effort!!
Truly excellent post from a friend about catcalling below. She wrote this before The Video came out, which makes it even harder to dismiss.
I think what people miss about “sweet” comments is that they’re never really about us as women, or making us feel good. It’s just marking territory: this is my domain, and you’re trespassing, so I’m going to let you know I’m the one in control here.
Why is it so much easier to believe that women are too stupid to know when they’re being complimented than it is to believe that “sweet” comments are intimidating and MEANT to intimidate?
I have so many strong feelings about this (having been harassed almost every day I have ever left my house for 8 years in New York) that it’s hard not to ramble. But I will say that, for how vocal men have been about their “right” to “say hello,” I find it hard to believe that any man could feel good about hearing “You have a good day sweetheart” 12 times a day from a bunch of leering strangers for the rest of his life.
So why is it so hard for us as a society to categorize this as wrong?
Why are we so quick to tell women they’re mistaken about feeling hassled, intimidated, and yes, harassed?
Finally: can we all acknowledge how ludicrous it it to call it “saying hello” when we know damn well a dude would never DARE pull this on another dude? Slow clap for this hashtag….
Ladies: when someone tells you that street harassment is actually a compliment, they are telling you to shut up. Never shut up.
Originally posted on a blog from yesteryear, I unearthed a beauty of a post on a subject that is receiving a lot of responses lately thanks to the video above. I’ve come across facebook posts where folks are trying to open up earnest conversations about why “God Bless You” and “Have a Nice Day” are considered harassment, and I’ve seen videos of men telling women they’re thinking about it wrong and they should be thrilled to be receiving compliments. I’m happy that some people are taking the time to analyze the issue, and I dreadfully disappointed that there are men and women who fail to analyze AND empathize. See below:
The Spin Diaries: Your Guide to Everything Pole and Aerial 