Are you curious about Tinder? Enjoy these screencaps.

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

So I read this article about a month ago that was all about how Tinder is horrible and evil and is ruining the world.

Naturally, I immediately went home and got the app. (I’m a brat).

Now before you read this and get depressed about the shit-show that is being “out there,” I would like to add a disclaimer that MOST of the messages I got/get on Tinder are fine/boring.This is just the worst 10%. Also, I totally met an adorable guy, so, ya never know!!

Meanwhile, I’m still checking my messages because LMAO, you CANNOT make this stuff up, and it’s extremely entertaining.

Word to the wise: polers, do NOT put pole pictures on Tinder. Personally, I’m really open about dancing because I think it pushes back against the taboo aspect, but, Tinder is just not the place for exercising faith in humanity. You’ll open yourself up to a lot of bullshit.

Names/Pictures Removed to Protect the Stupid:

1. Little Spoon

Sometimes I just can’t contain my visceral reactions to things.

little spoon

2. Russian (Part 1)

russian

3. Russian (Part 2)

It occurred to me that this might be the set up for a joke/line, so I went along with it. Nope, he was just a jackass!

are you white

4. “I’m in Love With You”

I decided to assume he was joking. Bad assumption.

i'm in love with you5. Flying

Every picture of this man was of him in the cockpit of a plane with both hands on controls. I thought it was safe to assume he flew planes.

Again: first rule of Tinder is NEVER ASSUME THE BEST OF PEOPLE.

But really my favorite part of this was him waiting a few minutes, realizing I didn’t want to talk anymore, and then trying the ultimate last-ditch effort: “BUT WAIT, I HAVE MONEY.”

I fly tooOkay, that’s all the creepery for now!

Have you guys tried Tinder or OkC? Any interesting experiences?

I recently found this tumblr, “Creepy White Guys” and want to give all women a hug and then weep, because wow.

Also, any pole news? I’ve been choreo-cramming for a belly dance show this week, so I’m super-slacking on pole stuff.

XOXOXOXO

Are you a basic (pole) bitch? 4 irrefutable signs

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater
Image
The answer to many questions in life.

I’ve been thinking about the topic of basic-ness in recent days, and the answer (for me) lies in this brilliant T-shirt.

It all started with this poignant video.

And then read I this article defending Basic Bitches. (My opinion: Britney has always secretly been R.A.F.)

Now, for the sake of the community, I have decided to put together a list of Basic Pole Bitch Criteria. It is by no means exhaustive though, so if you have any addendum, please drop it in comments!

Also, if you are unfamiliar with basicness, it as defined (by Urban Dictionary, natch) as the following:

Basic Bitch
1) one who has no personality; dull and irrelevant
2) just an extra regular female
Further extrapolation, I asked my friend Julie who’s really good with this stuff, to give me some examples of things that are basic. Here’s what she said:
-Tweeting that you are at Starbucks
-Owning a Coach purse
-Wearing yoga pants that say “Sexy” on the butt
It took me a while, but I think I am finally grasped my own interpretation of the essence of basic-ness: doing things the way you think other people in your target demographic would do them, in a misguided attempt at having an identity (but you fail because you are a cliche).
I consulted Julie about my use of a free Victoria’s Secret umbrella on a recent rainy day, distraught that it might have been a basic move. That’s when she informed me that the flip-side of basic is doing something that could be PERCEIVED as basic, but is actually a well thought-out means to an end. Using free swag, she informed me, may appear basic (and it would be, had I purchased the umbrella), but since it was raining and the umbrella was free and readily available, its use was instead a “Ratchet Tactic”–the opposite of a basic action, due to its self awareness.
Okay okay, it’s getting hard to keep writing this with a straight face, so let’s move on to the “basic bitch moves” of pole dancing.
Ignore them at your peril! (Or flaunt them, because it’s not that serious and you should do what you want in life):

1. Your favorite polers are Jenyne Butterfly, Felix Cane, and Alethea Austin

Okay so these women are all obviously incredible, but being “basic” is not about having bad taste–it’s about being generic and predictable. Like saying your favorite band is the Beatles, name dropping a poler that non-polers could possibly have heard of is super basic basic. I KNOW I’M SORRY, I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

2. You’ve danced to Portishead

Wait, wait, don’t tell me–you just want to be a woman.

Girl please, you are a bitch, of the basic persuasion, CASE CLOSED. (Also I am guilty of this).

3. You don’t really dance so much as wrench yourself into poses for the picture

If your sole purpose for poling is the Instagram shot… you know what it is. BASIC. Note: I would be basic as fuck in the this category if I could do anything worth Instagramming.

4. Your booty shorts came from Forever 21

Actually, no, no, my best girl Julie just informed me that using something cheap and totally passable is not “basic” but in fact classified as the aforementioned “Ratchet Tactic,” which is A-OK. Cheap booty shorts fo-eva!

So what’s your status? Basic Pole Bitch? Bad Pole Bitch? Ratchet Tactic Usin’ Beyotch?

XOXOXO

Pole dancers on the subway!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater

…sort of-kind of!

SHOW TIME, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. I didn’t take this video, but I did see these exact kids a few days ago. Impressive stuff.

Coincidentally, I very recently was taking the subway home at 3:30am (LEAVE ME ALONE), and found myself alone in the car. Which I can never remember happening in almost 8 years of living in New York City. Only two things were holding me back from fulfilling my fantasy of taking the subway poles for spin: 1. a lack of Clorox wipes, and 2. a lack of someone to film me.

I mean, if I’m going to get a staph infection, there better at least be video evidence of what I did to earn it.

Gorgeous Photos of Home Pole Dancers on Slate.com Today!

Posted on by Cathy Vandewater
Classic.
Classic.

Have you guys seen this yet?

I love the pictures, but I don’t really see the “humorous” juxtaposition of a domestic setting and a woman working out…. in fact, this reminds me a lot of being a pre-k kid and watching my mom follow her Joanie Greggains tapes from the sofa.

I also could do without the repeated use of the words “stripper pole.” But if it means seeing some lovely pole on my daily scroll thought Slate…. then, I feel like this.

Anyway, here’s the article… let me know what you think!