pole dance fails

Please let me know. I think I just made my own hall of fame last night: I knocked over a bottle of scented diffuser oil while changing and successfully soaked my pole clothing in oil.

In OIL.

Recap: Oil-soaked pole clothing 3 minutes before class.

It wasn’t a total disaster because I was able to run up and buy a new ($30, ugh) tank for class, but I’m sure my pole mate didn’t appreciate the stench of some sort of floral bug spray or whatever TF that oil was supposed to smell like.

Runner up: that time I was supposed to TEACH a class and realize that what I that were pole shorts were actually a pair of balled up black tights. I thought I had saved the day by cutting them into little shorts and doing my thing but it wasn’t until after class that I caught a glimpse of my floral underpants showing directly through from behind. Whoops.

What’s the worst thing YOU ever had to deal with right before a class or performance? Did you soldier though? Ain’t nobody got the money to skip class and still pay for it because of cancelations policies, please tell me you soldiered through.

But luckily, this particular pole class was awesome! I learned this thing that I didn’t get a picture of and also don’t know the name of but let me try to describe it?

You do a normal pole sit with straight legs, tilt to the side so that your top leg is making contact with the pole from the front (like, not the side or back of your leg, right on the quad). Then you lower your top hand (same as top leg), sweep your bottom hand out and around, opening your chest, and grip below your butt, and—pushing your top leg into the pole from the quad–bend the top leg, and straighten and open the bottom one. As you start to feel more secure, open your chest and arch your back more, trying to touch your top foot to your head. So pretty!

It looks super spooky and hard, but actually the more you open your legs (while making contact with the inner thigh of your lower leg and quad of your top leg), the better and more secure the pose is. Very pretty, and not that tricky or painful!

I’ll have to upload a photo/video, but please let me know if you think you know what this is called!!